Reach Out
by Huntress Under Seige
Summary: With Starscream in command, Knock Out learns to deal with petty issues all the time. But when Breakdown starts to pull away for no reason, Knock Out's past demons come into play. story better than summery. rated for Knock Out's past and possible future.
1. Silence in the Halls

Hi there! Okay, so I know that I said I would wait for a beta, but this story couldn't get out of my head, so I had to publish it. The title is subject to change, since it kinda annoys me, but will try to make it better! *strikes a heroic pose*

This goes for every chapter until the end...I DON'T OWN TRANSFORMERS IN ANY WAY AT ALL! I don't even have the characters... :'(

And if I did own TFP...well...it wouldn't be rated Y7 anymore, thats for sure...

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><p>Knock Out breathed a sigh of annoyance as he walked off of the main bridge of the <em>Nemisis<em>. With Starscream in command, things had gone from deliciously devious to horrible havoc. Any and all mistakes were blamed on those under him; the Vehicons, Breakdown, Soundwave, and Knock Out himself. At least under Megatron's rule, everyone knew their place. Tasks were simple. There was no plotting involved, no need to be wary of ulterior motives. With Starscream, everything was a game; by doing something _too _perfectly, it was an attempt to show him up and threaten his power. But doing something half-aft would get you an audio receptor full of that annoying, screechy alto that Starscream called a voice. Knock Out briefly wondered if he would be "cosmetically punished" again if he medically advised to have Starscream's vocalizer looked at. Shuddering, he decided against it.

But Starscream was only number three on the list of things bothering Knock Out on this solar cycle. Number two was Megatron's prognosis. Having an active mind, but incapacitated body, was an easy fix. But having a completely dead mind and a perfect body? If Soundwave didn't suspect any foul play before, then he certainly did now. With Starscream parading around like a peacock, and Knock Out's sudden increase in power, it was understandable that Soundwave could just write it off as sparkling-ish displays of temporary power, as long as Megatron _seemed_ like he was on the road to recovery. As Soundwave's suspicion rose, he started withholding information from Starscream, almost like trying to deter Starscream's would be successes, until he found out exactly what had happened to his precious leader.

"_Whatever that slagging Autobot did in there, he may have just cost us the most resourceful Deception of us all!" _Knock Out thought irritably. Still, he may have had at least an outlet for all of his problems if his number one issue didn't exist.

Breakdown. What was wrong with Breakdown? The one mech he could trust was completely avoiding him. After Knock Out's humiliating punishment that poor Breakdown had to witness, the red mech had seen less and less of his partner. In fact, nowadays, the only times he saw him were if they were out on patrol, or working over Megatron. Normally the dynamic duo would talk nonstop over their private com frequency, but Breakdown had recently taken to blocking his end of the link. And, seeing as their conversations consisted of bashing on their fellow Decepticons, it would be suicide to use the main com freq, where anyone could pick up their conversation. Being shut out from his partner was something that Knock Out was not used to. Sure, every mech was entitled to their secrets, but this was flat out, _I'm going to pretend you don't exist so I don't have to face you_, type of silence.

Thinking something was physically wrong with his partner, Knock Out would run scans over him when he was in recharge. It was an easy task, considering that they shared quarters. But nothing registered. Breakdown was just simply ignoring Knock Out.

Being given the silent treatment was wearing on Knock Out's nerves. The dark silence that greeted him whenever he opened their quarters took his processor down dark roads, delving deep into his past, dredging up memories of similar eerie silences, until Knock Out could only hold onto his sanity by completing menial tasks or slipping into recharge. That's why he talked non-stop, even going so far as to compliment himself when no one was around. Knock Out and silence did not go well together.

Palming open the door to his quarters, the red mech sighed, this time of depression. He couldn't help it. Every time he opened the door, he expected to see his partner lounging on the couch, or recharging on his berth, or even through the back door window, in the med bay working on Megatron. But there was nothing to suggest the blue truck had been here since the solar cycle began. Knock Out, processor already headed down dark roads, shuffled over to his berth and collapsed, flat on his back, slowly shutting down each of his extraneous systems to keep his processor busy until he was tired enough to try to sleep. When only his conscious mind was alert, he tried to shut it down, but the longing to find out what was wrong with his partner was too strong. He decided to start with the last time the both of them were together, thinking over the walk back to their quarters and the weird behavior that Breakdown exhibited once they were inside.

***FLASHBACK***

_Whimpering, Knock Out clung to Breakdown, too ashamed of his appearance to walk back to their quarters by himself. Starscream hadn't damaged anything vital, except Knock Out's pride and finish. Half of his processor was trying to come up with ways to get back at the volatile seeker. Megatron himself would be thrilled once he was restored and brought back online, and maybe Knock Out would be promoted to SIC. The other half of his processor was busy trying to catalogue the damages, and estimate the amount of time that fixing all of this would take. If he only fixed the areas that were scratched, it would only take about half a joor; however he would look splotchy, and Knock Out was not one to go half-aft on anything, especially his finish. He would have to completely redo his entire finish, re-coat it all, but that whole process would take about 5 joors. _

_He was just about to say slag it all, when he suddenly calmed down. Onlining his optics, which he didn't remember offlining, he realized why he was suddenly so relaxed. The steady shifting of Breakdown's hips, coupled with the beat of his spark below Knock Out's audio receptor, had calmed his body. But what cut off all thought altogether was the servo stroking his helm fin. _

_Helm fins were similar to doorwings in that they were very sensitive, and when touched can either calm a mech down or rile them up into a state of sexual arousal. Feeling Breakdown's servo continue its path up the helm fin, and then starting back at the bottom again was starting to stop calm and start arouse. Just as his chassis started heating up, he jerked his helm away from Breakdown, fixing his red optics on his partners yellow ones with a frightened, questioning glare. They had arrived at their quarters, but Knock Out was closer to the panel to open the door. And it was clear that he wasn't going to open the door until he got an answer. _

"_Sorry," Breakdown quickly apologized, although if he knew exactly what he was doing or not, Knock Out was not entirely sure. "It's just, I could tell you were probably freaking out about all the work you have to do to fix the damages, and I wanted to do something to help you to calm down. I know how you stress about things like this, but you always come out on top. Now stop your plotting and complaining and open the door."_

_Knock Out's optics widened a fraction. He wasn't shocked that Breakdown had picked up on his inner ramblings (working with someone for a couple million stellar cycles will give you an intuitive feeling about them, or at least more sensitive to their moods). He was surprised that Breakdown had tried to calm him down. Most of the time, they offered each other support in non-physical ways; backup on the battlefield, handing over a tool, or lending an audio receptor when one needed to rant. But this was totally new. Knock Out usually didn't allow for physical contact because of his past experiences with mechs who touched him, but for Breakdown he would make an exception. Up until this point, he had only been touched in strictly professional ways, which was enough for him. Knock Out had an intense battle with his past demons as he was carried down the hallway, arguing that this was Breakdown, the one mech whom he could trust not to hurt him, and wouldn't try to take advantage of his weakened state. _

_Unsure of how to respond, Knock Out just leaned back into the wall, sliding his servo down until he reached the panel, keeping optic contact the entire time, while loosening the hold his legs had around Breakdown's waist. Knock Out didn't miss the faint vibration of Breakdown's engine that traveled through Breakdown's chassis and into his body, nor that his core temperature spiked up a few degrees. _

_Once the door slid closed, Knock Out all but jumped off of Breakdown, as if his life cycle depended on it. Desperately trying to get his dark thoughts out of his processor, he took a couple deep cycles of air before reaching onto the top shelf of his supply case to grab his paint, wax finish, airbrush, and towel. _

_He was so involved in trying to fix his finish that he failed to notice the soft pedsteps coming up behind him. Suddenly, there was an extra pair of arms reaching around him, and servos that started to repaint his thighs. Knock Out froze, staring down at the servos like they were a turbo-fox with a bad case of rabies. A small voice in the back of his processor noticed that this actually felt pretty good. More than good actually. It felt like a massage, coupled with a tender, almost reverent, touch that Knock Out saved for repairing his own finish, and the superficial nicks and dents that Breakdown had suffered over the stellar cycles. Knock Out liked to think that he was gentle because it was delicate work, but now he wasn't so sure. The touch felt almost…_loving_._

"_Wh-wha…what are you doing?" Knockout inquired, cringing inwardly as his vocalizer trembled a bit. He was starting to lose the battle with his self-preservation, and it was showing in his tone._

"_Helping you to relax and fix your finish. I know how you like to re-do everything when only a single area needs attention…figured I'd help you by lending my… _services_." Breakdown replied, his voice dropping to a husky timbre on the last word, not quite catching his partner's frame vibrating in fear, core temperature dropping. _

_At that, Knock Out jumped up and away from his partner, like the berth was spring loaded. Snatching the supplies out of Breakdown's servos and off of the berth, he hurried to the med bay and locked the door behind him. Breakdown was acting very weird, and Knock Out did not deal with weirdness very well. His darkness came up from the shadows of his mind, taunting him, saying that while Breakdown may_ seem_ different from all the other mechs, they all turned out to be the same in the end. Flashbacks of the mech he used to be crowded to his processor, and he hurried to black out the window so Breakdown wouldn't see him in this deplorable state. _

_Knock Out was about to return to his half started finish touchup, when he heard a soft sound coming from the other room. It was a small clicking sound, interrupted by short bursts of static; the closest Cybertronians could get to crying. _

_Shaking off his surprise, Knock Out just continued with his job until the sounds ended abruptly with the slamming of their quarter's door. _

***END FLASHBACK***

But what did that mean? Did Knock Out do something wrong? "_Well clearly I did! He was __crying__ for Primus sake!" _ Yet, Breakdown didn't seem like the type of mech to, well, _break down, _especially over something so trivial as a refusal for help. With the way Breakdown was going about the task, it almost felt like molestation! Knock Out was completely in the right to run aw- ahem, _refuse_ help like that. But if he was so right, why did Breakdown react the way he did?

"_Good for you! You kept him at an arms distance. Don't let him get close to you….you know how well _that's _ended in the past…"_ his inner demons crooned to him. Part of his processor wanted to give in to the siren's call, promising of safety in solitude, but the majority of his mind stood firm. Even if Breakdown was acting weird, Knock Out could give him a few more solar cycles before confronting the big mech, as long as no more touches were involved. Not that that would be a problem; Breakdown's sudden withdrawal was the issue here.

Determined with his new goals, Knock Out rolled over to his side and fell into a fitful recharge, completely unaware of the yellow optics watching him from the back corner of the room.

"Breakdown…" he called in his sleep, causing the silent mech in the corner to attempt a smile through his coolant tears.

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><p>Like it? Hate it? Love it?<p>

leave me a review and lemme know! Cuz, while I have two more chapters already in the final stages of revising...I wanna let you know that I won't continue this story if there is a lack of response, or an overwhelming negative one.

ONE MORE THING! This is my first story...constructive critisism is appreciated, mostly focused on grammar and such...but flames will not be tolerated.

3 Huntress


	2. Sleeptalking Genius

WOW! What an overwhelming response! 7 reviews in 3 days, not to mention all the alerts and fav's...wow! didn't expect this to be so popular...

So now we have Breakdown's take on what has been happening with him and Knock Out. We will see Breakdown's motives here, as well as some other stuff. For the most part, the story will go like this, with every chapter alternating between KO and BD.

Without further ado, here's the chapter!

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><p>Breakdown felt like Optimus Prime himself had run over his spark. It was clear that Knock Out didn't return his affections, so why did he keep coming back for more? What was it about the exotic sports car that kept him tethered to his side?<p>

Did he yearn only for a physical relationship, one that would allow him to touch the soft curves of his partners chassis, feel him press up against him in moments of bliss, only to feel hollow on the inside because of the lack of emotion?

Or did he want something _real_, where he knew that when he came back from missions, he had someone there to talk to, to love…a reason to keep living?

Breakdown didn't even know anymore. At first it was just a physical longing; to be able to touch and not be punished, drawn to the cherry red finish like a moth to a flame. But then it evolved into something more. Every sarcastic comment, every whine and complaint on Knock Out's behalf drew him in further, until he was suffocating in his own infatuation. But it wasn't love just yet. Love required two to be real, and it required a more…steady…atmosphere. The _Nemisis_ wasn't the best place to start hatching romances. He resigned himself to be stuck forever in this world, this halfway between true love and obsession. It was true that his relationship-at least, on his end-wasn't strictly professional with Knock Out. However, he couldn't bring himself to make a move, and built up walls that would keep his emotions a secret from the decadent red temptation.

While Breakdown wasn't the worlds most intuitive mech, he knew Knock Out like the back of his servo, and for some reason, Knock Out didn't like physical contact of the non-professional kind. He also didn't take well to advances from other mechs and femmes, having more than once declined offers from various Vehicons and other 'Cons when they were back on Kaon. Everybot wanted a chance with the good doctor, and yet the most attractive mech there, probably of _both_ factions, didn't want to be involved with anyone. If anything, keeping his distance was Breakdown's best bet to be rewarded if the slim chance should arrive that Knock Out wanted _more_ than just a professional relationship with his partner. After all, it was that distance that allowed them to be such good friends.

Yet with each passing solar cycle, Breakdown's defenses slowly crumbled. When Knock Out had his finish scratched, he knew that it was his time to put his resistance to the test. He often was called upon to help Knock Out buff out his scratches, which led to whole body touch ups. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, except it required Breakdown's help to reach certain spots. So his servos would be on Knock Out's lower back, neck, and shoulders. That was three places too many.

Primus must have been favoring him, however, since he got out of it when his partner was called away to look for some more energon. Unsurprisingly, Knock Out used this opportunity to engage in more street racing, which led to him having his door ripped off, and scratches inflicted upon him by Starscream.

Breakdown's resolve was already in dangerous shape as Knock Out walked back in to the _Nemisis_. When Knock Out jumped on him to be carried back, Breakdown couldn't refuse, especially with the frightened, pleading look that Knock Out gave to his partner. Breakdown had only seen that look once, and that was back when they were first partnered up, and Breakdown offered to shake Knock Out's servo. Knock Out still was skittish around physical contact, but wanting to put up a front that this wasn't out of character for the medic, Breakdown decided to roll with the punches and do this for his partner.

He would do anything for the mech to earn his trust and take away his pains, however dark they might be.

So he couldn't resist trying to comfort his partner once he started to fuss. Not out loud – Knock Out would never do anything so demeaning – but his facial expression said it all. Brow furrowed, eyes focused, and a small pout formed on his lips. It should have been a sin to have lips like that, and Breakdown was very close to leaning in and taking what he felt was his, when he realized that they were close to their quarters, and the halls near the med bay were high traffic areas. Not wanting to get caught kissing (and the embarrassment that the definite rejection would have caused) Breakdown settled for stroking his partner's helm fin.

Little did he know exactly what he was doing.

Fumbling to apologize when Knock Out questioned him, he was really chastising himself, while trying to rebuild his resolve. All of that shattered when Knock Out leaned against the wall, slowly sliding his servo down.

Images flooded Breakdown's processor, and he was not in total control when his engine revved in response to the sensual image presented to him. When Knock Out jumped off his body, Breakdown nearly growled in dismay, and was seconds away from reaching out and grabbing Knock Out by the slender hips, pulling him back into his arms, and never letting go. Shocked by his thoughts, Breakdown merely walked up to his partner, processor still in a daze.

You would have thought that Breakdown had gotten the hint, but a stubborn voice in the back of his processor told him to try again, and make up for scaring his partner. Knock Out's trust wasn't given out easily, and Breakdown wanted to keep what little of it he had intact. But his sensor net was still hot, and his urges seemed to get the best of him as he repainted his partners thighs. When Knock Out paused, Breakdown thought he had reached through to him. But when Knock Out ran away from him, Breakdown couldn't help it.

He lived up to his name, and broke. Down. Hard.

Confusion, hurt, anger, and pent up sexual desire poured forth with each hiccupping click that he emitted from his vocalizer. But it was common for mechs to make the sounds when upset. They only cried _tears_ if something was very wrong. The loss of a bondmate, the death of a sparkling, heartbreak and extreme fear. They were the things that made mechs cry.

It was with the first tears of coolant that Breakdown knew two things: he was in love, and there was no way that Knock Out would ever return the affections.

The overwhelming urge to leave rushed through his body like a tidal wave. Go for a drive, smash an Autobot's head, even just roaming around the _Nemisis_ would try to clear his processor. Anything to get out of that room. Slamming their quarters behind him, Breakdown marked the beginning of their 3 megacycle long silence.

Now, standing in the corner of their quarters, where he once felt like an equal, he re-evaluated his feelings. Normally, Breakdown was not one to over think anything. Smash first, think later. But with Knock Out, Breakdown was sure that there was more behind the pretty face. Not wanting to rush into things and scare his partner even further, Breakdown figured that he might as well start with what he was feeling and go from there.

He had kept all feelings for Knock Out in a separate file in his CPU, so he wouldn't have to deal with them on a daily basis. That file contained everything from Knock Out's weird quirks that drove him up a wall (he sometimes talked in his recharge) to things Knock Out did that made him fall farther into this mess that mechs would call love.

Love.

How he loathed the word.

It implied weakness, and Breakdown was not a weak mech. He was strong, and knew it. Sure, not the brightest, but that was what made him and Knock Out such a great team. One thought everything through, looked at all the angles, and the other brought the force, pushing the plan into action.

Breakdown sighed, a habit he picked up from his partner. This was ridiculous. Here he was, going over his emotions like some weak femme.

Regardless, anytime Knock Out's file was opened, his processor was flooded with that Pit-spawned emotion.

"Breakdown…" Knock Out whimpered again, sub-consciously reaching towards the side of the room where Breakdown's berth was. Suddenly he stopped, servo abandoning its previous destination, and instead started stretching towards Breakdown's corner.

"Please…come back….tell me…what's wrong…" came the sleepy voice.

"I'm here." Breakdown couldn't resist, he hated seeing his medic like this. Wait…_his _medic? Where was this possessiveness coming from?

"Lemme help you…" Knock Out said, before rolling over and muttering, "..because no one helped me…"

_He wants to help me? And what did he mean no one helped him? _Breakdown's thoughts were spinning around, trying to dechipher what Knock Out meant. Often times, mech's who talked in their recharge had secrets that they hid from everyone else. Talking in their sleep allowed them to have an outlet, and tell the truth. Thing is, Knock Out didn't know about his nightly "confessions" to his partner. For the most part, Knock Out just talked nonsense in his sleep. But occasionally Breakdown caught a coherent sentence or two, but nothing to let him into the inner workings of Knock Out's mind. It was mostly just babble about not wanting to be touched. It seemed unimportant at the time, but now…

By this time, Breakdown's tears had dried, but more were threatening to fall. It wasn't over his own pain this time. Knock Out's pain and confusion at being pushed away were surrounding the mech, almost like a tangible aura. In his efforts to avoid the medic, he had taken to going to bed later than Knock Out and getting out their quarters before him, barely taking notice if Knock Out was emotionally okay.

But now, Breakdown's guilt intensified as he leaned over the one thing keeping him tied to the Decepticon cause. Sure, he would never defect to the Autobot side, but he had nothing else going for him here except the red mech a few feet away.

Exhausted, Breakdown crawled on his own berth and fell asleep. The last sight his optics picked up was Knock Out's lips, pursed in that sexy frown he had. What he didn't notice, was his own servo, taking a mind of its own and closing the distance between it and Knock Out's servo. If anyone was around to hear it, they would have heard two mechs simultaneously sigh, both of them in pleasure and relief.

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><p>So? Better chapter than before? Worse writing style? Like where this is headed? Hate the story?<p>

Lemme know! just leave a review. I'm also not to far into writing the next couple chapters, so if there is something that people wanna see, (that fits within this whole angsty storyline) then PM me or write it in a review! I'll try to see if I can fit it in, and give you a shout out in the A/N.

3 Huntress


	3. Accidental Hand-Holding

Well, now we have Knock Out's POV about waking up, and we finally see that messed up past of his. This idea was given to me in a review by iamtheIcestar, but expanded upon by me. So, buckle down and enjoy the story..

P.S. Mentions of rape (not explicit, but its there.)

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><p>It was the pressure on his servo that eventually woke Knock Out from his recharge. Groaning softly, he hoped that he hadn't pinched the sensors in his wrist while sleeping. The sharp, electric pin pricks hurt for a while, shooting up his servo continuously as the connection was re-established, his processor once again reminding him that his servo was still attached.<p>

But this pressure was much more pleasurable. It was warm, strong, yet gentle, and had his fingertips lightly brushing the surface of whatever it was that was holding him.

It was when the caresses were returned that Knock Out realized whatever was holding his hand was _alive_. Slowly onlining his optics, Knock Out surreptitiously glanced to the side where his servo was being stroked.

What he saw nearly made him suffer from spark failure.

Breakdown was lying on his berth, clearly still in recharge, his right servo holding Knock Out's, stroking softly. Which of these startled Knock Out more, he wasn't sure. Ever since they had stopped communicating, Breakdown had gotten out of their quarters as soon as he could. So to wake up to his partner still sleeping there was a rare feat in itself.

But _holding his servo?_ What did that mean? Discreetly trying to pull his hand away, Breakdown whined in his sleep, and gripped his hand harder, before rolling over. The strength that Breakdown possessed was clearly evident, as Knock Out soon found out when he was dragged off his berth, over Breakdown, and landed firmly against the blue mech's side. In this position, they looked like lovers, definitely not just business partners.

Breakdown's arm came around Knock Out, effectively pinning him to his chest. Knock Out couldn't move unless he wanted Breakdown to wake up.

Knock Out groaned softly. This was not the best way to start off the solar cycle. First, he wakes up holding his partners hand. Then, said partner all but drags him over to his own berth, where he proceeds to spoon him, all of which happened while still in recharge.

But Knock Out couldn't help but notice how nice this felt. No, nice was too weak a word. This felt _right._ Like this was where he was meant to be. He was molded perfectly to Breakdown's chassis, everything fitting with no cumbersome and awkward positioning on either's part.

Yet this position was all too familiar to Knock Out. It was taking his processor down a dark path, deep into the recesses of his mind where he thought all of his demons were locked away.

Suddenly, the arm became not comforting, but a threat. Knock Out couldn't help but be reminded of those dark stellar cycles he was used as a slave, being traded to different mech's and femmes back in Kaon. In this past life, Knock Out was really a mech named Hubris, with black and silver finish and an seekers build, yet without the wings. Each master promised only true love, the best conditions, and the utmost care. And for a while it was. But once Hubris gave them everything he had, they tossed him out. It got so bad that he would just end up being taken in alleyways, and when he was being transferred from one owner to another. He was nothing but a whore. Not even that, since whores got paid. He was more of a slut, stuck in his own personal hell.

Eventually growing tired of all the mistreatment, Hubris ran out of the slums of Kaon and into the light of Iacon, the Autobot capital on Cybertron. There, he met a body artist, and had his entire finish and frame redone. He now had the frame of a grounder, and with each pass of the brush, he became less Hubris, and more a mech who may have had a future. The war was still young at this point, so there was no questioning of loyalties when this grungy mech from Kaon showed up.

But Hubris could still be tracked by name. He would have to change his records in the Cybertronian Dataplex, but there were only two ways to gain access to the records that wouldn't draw attention; either become a council member, or be a medic. Both positions allowed for full disclosure into the records of every Cybertronian online.

Becoming a council member, or some other high ranking official would no doubt get him sucked into this war all the sooner. Assuming the position of a medic would be his best bet for even a few cycles. After all, who would expect a former pleasure-bot to become a medic?

Roaming around the streets of Iacon, he eventually saw a medical facility, with a "Help Wanted" sign in the window, no previous experience needed. The CMO of that particular facility was a mech by the name of First Aid, and Hubris figured he could get at least a part time job here; anything was better than his old "job."

As Hubris slipped into the office, the first thing he heard was the whispers. Mech's and femme's were crowded in the waiting room of the medical facility, and were whispering furtively about the new comer.

"What I wouldn't give to get _that_ one in the berth…"

"He seems like a mech with a wild side, just waiting to be set free…"

"Look at his finish! How can someone that beautiful not have a sparkmate already…"

"He's a real knock out, I'll give ya that…."

It was that with that last comment that Hubris stopped existing. Instead, Knock Out was born in his place. Once that was established in his processor, it was as if he had a chip on his shoulder. He needed to prove that he could be a good medic. But most importantly, he needed to get rid of those records. Using the confidence he had gained from their compliments, he sauntered up to the secretary's desk.

"Could I please have an application for the job opening? I saw the sign and figured, _why not_?" Knock Out purred.

Face plate flushed with embarrassment, the secretary stuttered that no application was necessary, just see her employer. His office was down the hall, first one on the left.

The interview went smoothly, and when asked for a name, Knock Out simply replied, "I'm your employee, and your business partner, but names are such frivolous things, don't you agree?" in such a sweet tone that poor First Aid had no chance.

He got the job, and as soon as he was able, became Knock Out for real. The records of Hubris never existed, replaced with all the information of Knock Out. Knock Out doubted that even Soundwave could find any records of his previous existence.

But he still wasn't happy. There was a dark part of his spark that demanded that the ones who hurt him over the stellar cycles deserved Pit for what they made him go through. His darkness grew and grew, until he was consumed by it. About two stellar cycles after he first got the job, Knock Out started coming in on his own time, treated some patients roughly, and made everything about him.

First Aid noticed, and said that if this behavior continued, Knock Out would not have a job anymore. Feeling like he had learned enough, Knock Out jumped ship.

Meanwhile, the darkness consumed him on the inside. He was still scared about being recognized (even though the only thing he had kept from his past life was his optics) and angry with those who had harmed him in the past, but Knock Out soon became a master at the art of acting, covering up any and all insecurities with the bravado of confidence.

By this time the war was in full swing, and Knock Out had been roaming around in neutral territory for a while now. But the Decepticons were gaining power, and destroying neutral grounds if citizens didn't cooperate was their current strategy.

Deciding to go with the more powerful side at the time, Knock Out joined the Decepticons first chance he got. When asked for what skills he had, he simply pointed out that he had medical training, and with the looks of things around here, they could need one.

Half patched up injuries were leaking energon everywhere, and were no doubt getting infected from the horrible quality of the metal that was being used as bandages.

Ever since that fateful day, Knock Out had used his hatred for his past masters to fuel his passion towards destroying Autobots. He pretended that he was taking apart his previous life with each 'Bot he destroyed, beyond hopes of recognition.

The hatred burned on, until it consumed all other emotion, a thick, black, oily substance that covered his spark and prevented all else from entering.

Then he met Breakdown.

From the beginning, Knock Out and Breakdown were close. Probably because Breakdown was the one mech who didn't try to pry into Knock Out's life. He gave him his distance, and it was this distance that eventually evolved into trust.

Breakdown was always there for him, and never questioned his motives. Soon they began speaking, though it was merely directions at first, especially over medical procedures.

But Breakdown had earned his keep more than once. Out on the battlefield, where everyone targeted Knock Out because of his smaller size and stature, Breakdown was always there to protect his friend. Sending them flying with those large silver hammers of his, Breakdown became Knock Out's personal bodyguard of sorts.

Yet the best part of this was that no one could see through Knock Out's façade. He was the most confident, well-maintained mech on the ship. Because no one questions perfection. And no one cared enough to wonder if he was over compensating for anything.

Except Breakdown. Breakdown seemed to be able to tell when Knock Out was in one of his "moods." Seemingly brought on by nothing, Knock Out would suddenly draw into himself, just enough for Breakdown to notice.

He was always there for him to talk to, and always there to get Knock Out back into the spirit of things. In fact, he was the only one that talked to Knock Out on a daily basis. All of the Vehicons were too stupid, not to mention below Knock Out, to have a conversation with. Starscream wasn't the best of company even on a good day, and Megatron….no one even _wanted_ to test those waters.

So when his only confidant stopped talking to him, Knock Out was at a loss for what had happened. No matter what obnoxious thing Knock Out did, either Breakdown called him out on it, or he just worked around it.

Suddenly, Knock Out felt something wet sliding down his face. Blinking to clear his optics, he realized he was crying. Remembering his past life was always difficult, but different things triggered it; stasis cuffs, shorted out lighting, large crates of energon. Physical contact.

But this was different. This type of crying was not something Knock Out had experienced before. It was silent, so as not to wake Breakdown, but there was a feeling deep in Knock Out's spark that both calmed and terrified him.

It pacified the cherry red sports car because he thought he now understood the reason behind Breakdown's behavior. He wanted to do anything to ease the blue mech's pain, even if it was too late to soothe his own. He would do anything to protect him, even if it meant giving up his own life. He would claim him in everyway, and let the world see that Breakdown was HIS mech.

It terrified him because this emotion that had been used to manipulate him one to many times, and in a certain sense of the word, had been his death.

It was there, in Breakdown's arms, while silently letting coolant tears flow down his porcelain white face, that Knock Out had one of the biggest epiphanies of his life-cycle.

He was in love with his best (and only) friend and partner.

He was in love with Breakdown.

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><p>Well, look who decided to join the party! Finally KO gets it! But can Breakdown help him to over come this, or will he be ruled by it forever?<p>

Again, leave a review telling me if I should keep going, or even just a quick "hi! great story!" thing...

I know that alot of you guys put my story on your favs or alert lists, which is great, but a review is just a bit more tangible...does that even make sense?

Probably not...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! It was my birthday yesterday, but I didn't have access to a computer all day, so..yeah...

3 Huntress


	4. Kisses Stop Tears

This chapter gave me such a hard time, I'm still icing my bruises. Umm...I think that this chapter will come as a disappointment to some, since you may have wanted things to go differently, but making this chapter go the way it did allows for more angst in the upcoming chapters.

Read on to find out what I mean!

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><p>Breakdown onlined to something warm in his arms. Normally, Breakdown slept on his stomach, so having woken up on his side meant that he was holding something. Or more accurately, some<em>body<em>.

Glancing down, his vents snapped shut, the equivalent of an organics gasp, at the sight of Knock Out in his arms. A _crying _Knock Out in his arms.

Horrified, Breakdown wracked his processor trying to see if maybe in his haze to get away from Knock Out, he had gotten overcharged, and then, in his drunken state, went after Knock Out.

But that was ridiculous. They barely had enough energon to keep everyone online, much less get their hands on enough high grade to get a mech the size of Breakdown in an overcharged state so much so that he didn't remember anything he did that night.

To his current memory, Breakdown had done nothing to hurt Knock Out, except for their 3 megacycle long silence, which Breakdown was determined to break as soon as he could. It was only making his infatuation worse, and Knock Out was slowly but surely reverting back to his old ways, and Breakdown couldn't help but think that he was the cause of the change.

Looking down at his partner, Breakdown confirmed that Knock Out was indeed online, and softly asked, "Are you okay?"

Knock Out stiffened in Breakdowns arms, and tried to make it seem like he was still in recharge.

"Knock Out, I know you're awake. Answer me please.." Breakdown pleaded.

Silence was his response.

"Fine, I guess I'll go first," Breakdown began. "Look…I'm sorry about shutting you out. I'm just going through a weird time right now, and I didn't want to hurt you with my feelings. I know that you probably don't feel the same way for me that I do for you...actually, the chances of you returning these feelings are slim to none. I don't know a lot about your history, nor even what you were like before you joined the Decepticons. I know that its probably not a pretty story...regardless, I want to get to know you. I'm sorry that I'm probably not the best mech to have these feelings towards you, especially with your skittish tendencies, but I can't do anything about it. I've tried, and it doesn't work. Knock Out, I…"

Breakdown paused. That was the longest he'd ever talked to anyone, much less his employer. But how does one tell someone who has had a past that made them reluctant to even consider relationships that you love them? But before he could continue, Knock Out spoke.

"Breakdown…I get it…you wouldn't want a mech like me…maybe you are attracted, but you won't act on it because you think that I would push you away. Well, you're right. Normally I would push you away. But something tells me that even if I try, I couldn't totally remove you from my life," Knock Out whispered, as if the words were too precious to be overheard by anyone else.

To give emphasis on his earlier point, he lightly pushed on Breakdown's arms. Breakdown realized he was still holding his partner and quickly relaxed his arms and said, "If you want to leave, I won't hold you back."

Breakdown could feel his spark begin to shatter as Knock Out rolled away from him, only to turn around and sit back down on the berth so he could now face his partner. Unsure of where this was headed, Breakdown remained laying down on his side. Giving Knock Out the dominant position here, Breakdown was reassuring both Knock Out and himself that he wouldn't rush into things. But wherever this conversation was going, neither participant was sure.

Their optics met, and Breakdown couldn't hold himself back anymore.

"Knock Out, everything I said before still stands, but I also need you to know…I like you. As more than a partner, as more than a friend. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to be scared off….I still don't know what or who made you that way, but I wanted to respect your limits. And I completely understand if-_mmph."_

Breakdown's explanation was cut off by a surprise kiss from Knock Out. It was chaste, but his lips were exactly as Breakdown thought it would be; soft and warm, but hesitant. Exposing himself like that, Breakdown knew Knock Out would be questioning himself afterwards, and to encourage Knock Out, Breakdown melted into the kiss. Cautiously, he angled his helm to increase the pressure of his lips against Knock Out's.

Nothing too deep (he could tell it was taking everything Knock Out had not to run away), yet Breakdown slowly slid his servos up to Knock Out's face and kept them there, cradling his helm as if it was the most precious thing in the world. Which to Breakdown, it was.

Slowly, their lips separated, and the two mechs leaned back to look at each other, faceplates slightly flushed with desire and heated energon.

"I like you too, Breakdown. I don't know when this started…probably back when we first met. I felt like I could trust you. But you deserved better in my mind, a mech who wasn't so…_broken_." On the last word, Knock Out averted his gaze and tightly wrapped his arms around himself, almost like he was trying to hold himself together.

Softly placing his servos on Knock Out's, Breakdown's gesture told Knock Out that he wasn't alone in this anymore; that he finally had a mech on his side after all these stellar cycles alone.

Almost timidly, Knock Out turned back to Breakdown, fixing his partners yellow optics with a softened plea for help.

Breakdown knew then and there that there was no way he was ever going to allow Knock Out to be treated like he was in the past, regardless of the fact that Breakdown had no idea just how bad it was. Knock Out had just given the one thing that he held dear to himself; his trust.

Breakdown didn't have the words to describe what he was feeling then. He had used up most of his word quota for the day anyway.

Cautiously leaning in, he gave Knock Out ample time to turn away, or say no, but instead Knock Out held firm.

Offlining his optics, Breakdown initiated their second kiss. This was like the first, but at the same time different. The blue mech lightly brushed his lips across Knock Out's, then came back for more, pressing their lips together in a way that conveyed every emotion he was feeling.

Happiness, relief, and pleasure poured forth from both mechs, and hesitantly Knock Out slid his glossa out to brush across Breakdown's lower lip. But just as quickly as it was there, it was gone.

Breaking off the kiss, the blue truck looked down at his lover with optics that were clouded with lust, even though they hadn't done much, but also concern.

"I'm fine. You didn't do anything wrong, I just don't want to take this too far too fast." Knock Out explained.

Relieved that he hadn't hurt the red mech, Breakdown nodded. "Its fine KO, we can move at your pace."

Knock Out opened his mouth to respond when he suddenly looked off to the side. By the way his head was tilted, Breakdown knew he was getting a call on his comlink. Once the link was severed, Breakdown asked, "So, who's calling the good doctor now?"

Smirking, Knock Out replied, "Only our great _Commander_ Starscream. He insists that I meet him on the main bridge. Apparently there are more things we need to discuss."

Easily falling back into his confident persona, Knock Out untangled himself from his lover and stood up. Heading towards the door, he said, "See you later. Try to get to work on Megatron while I'm gone, kay?"

Relieved that their relationship wouldn't hurt their professional one, Breakdown replied, "Whatever you say, doc."

Both mechs turned away, smirking at their newfound confidence with the other, but also terrified of what would happen if this relationship didn't work.

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><p>Can you see that I suck at kissing? (Writing wise...well, I guess in RL too, because I haven't kissed anyone yet...wow, awks...)<p>

Leave a review! I need to know what you guys think of this chapter! If I epically failed, but you have a way to make me better, then write so! Just don't leave a review saying "You suck." and leave it at that. Tell me what I fail at, and then give me ideas to make it better if you wanna see better writing from me in the future.

I have some ideas for a one-shot that has been eating my brain out by the sweetness, but I'll see if I can get through this story, at least half way before entertaining the idea of writing a new one.

Yeah...well, R&R!

3 Huntress


	5. A New Deal is Formed

Soooo sorry for the update...School is killing me right now, along with family issues...but enough about my annoyances. This chapter has some fluff, some angst, and a Starscream bitchin' 'bout nothin'...gotta love my Jazz impression. I have decided that this story will go into the events that happened in "Operation: Breakdown" for two main reasons.

1) My muse has spoken and dictated that this would allow for more angst (Yay for "I forgive you" kisses!)

2) I suddenly got an idea for what to write for Bulkhead and Breakdown's past...I just need to tie it into this story. I may just write it as a one-shot. But be on the look out for that!

I now leave you to the story. When we left, KO was talking to BD and then was called away by Starscream, who thinks that he is the sh** but really isn't...probs why I like shipping SS with the most crack-ish pairings on the entire surface of both Cybertron and Earth combined.

Okay, rant is done.

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><p>Walking into the main bridge, Knock Out was met with a sight he had seen one too many times; Starscream, posing on Megatron's throne. "<em>I really hope we can get our Lord back on track and into the world of the functioning…this whole "Starscream in charge" thing is getting us nowhere real fast,"<em> Knock Out thought to himself.

"You called, Commander Starscream?" Knock Out inquired to the seeker.

"For the last time, Knock Out, it. Is. LORD! Failure to address me with the proper respect will become grounds for punishment…and we all know how well that goes. Isn't that right Soundwave?" Starscream replied, motioning Soundwave over.

The satellite meandered over, in no hurry to comply to Starscream's demands, and replayed the sound bite of Knock Out screaming as his finish was scratched. Just the recording alone was enough to make Knock Out inwardly cringe.

"My apologies, _Lord_ Starscream. I won't do it again. But back to the issue at hand, why have you called me here?" Knock Out hurried to apologize and deter Starscream's path from the destruction of his precious finish to a safer topic.

"Ah yes, why have I called you here. It has come to my attention that there have been some issues with your partner. Apparently, you two haven't been talking to each other lately?" Starscream questioned, smugness radiating from his frame.

Knock Out decided to play the part of angry victim and replied, "Breakdown and I are in the middle of something right now. A rough patch, if you will. I swear that it is not interrupting our professional tone right now; we are working on Megatron's prognosis just as hard as we were before, if only without words. But if you want to know what the problem is, I don't even know, because Breakdown just stopped talking to me."

Starscream leaned towards Knock Out. "And if I forced you to resolve your issue?"

Knock Out blinked. That was not where he thought Starscream would have gone with this. Regardless of his confusion, Knock Out replied with a snort, "What good would that do? Breakdown can be as stubborn as a minibot when he wants to be!"

Starscream, smarmy grin etched in his faceplates, stood to his full height and addressed Soundwave to exit. Once the purple satellite had left, Starscream replied, "It doesn't matter. You and Breakdown need to resolve this issue, whatever it is, by your next duty cycle. You should be grateful that I'm also going to give you the next three solar cycles off so you can fix this. We need to know of Megatron's final diagnosis by the end of this megacycle. _The Nemisis _doesn't have the resources to keep him like this indefinitely; even Soundwave agrees that we should have the final plans for Megatron done by this megacycles end."

Knock Out froze. So _that's_ where Starscream was going with all this! He wanted to get Soundwave's permission to pull the plug on Megatron and allow Starscream to be the real leader. Knowing that Knock Out wouldn't help him unless the red car got something out of it, Starscream had given Knock Out time off as a way of saying _Look what I can do with my power! If you follow my lead, you could have rewards like this every solar cycle._ This whole thing was one big elaborate bribe to let Starscream be in charge forever!...or, until Soundwave got tired of it and pulled the plug on Starscream. Despite his silent nature, Soundwave could be a savage killer, sometimes rivaling even Megatron. Deciding to take the plunge now and allow Starscream this small victory, Knock Out nodded in agreement to the terms.

Inside however, he realized that he and Breakdown now had three solar cycles to get their "issue" resolved, and was simultaneously panicked and slightly anxious for the days off.

"I better go get started then. If you'll excuse me Lord Starscream." With that cordial ending, it took all Knock Out had to not run back to his quarters and jump into Breakdowns arms.

While walking through the hallway, Knock Out reconsidered what he had done to Breakdown before his meeting with Starscream. _Why did I kiss him? _I _shouldn't have made the first move…now it looks like I'm not only desperate but also have no self control or self worth. Again, you manage to frag up the only good partnership that you've had. Well done Knock Out. Why would he want me back after this? Did he even want me in the first place? And why did Starscream suddenly care? _

Putting up his defenses, Knock Out entered the med bay to be greeted with the sound of the rotary buffer going. Turning toward Megatron's berth, Knock Out's anxiousness melted away with the sight of his assistant working over Megatron's chassis.

"Any changes, other than cosmetic?" Knock Out asked, trying to start a conversation. White noise wasn't helpful to keep the demons at bay, unless it was Knock Out's task that caused the noise.

The anxiety caused by the lack of talking washed away also, just as Breakdown's golden optics met Knock Out's ruby ones. "Not at all. Same prognosis as usual doc. What did Starscream wanna talk about anyway?"

"He apparently has picked up on our past days of not talking, and he wants us to resolve our…_issues_. He gave the both of us the next 3 solar cycles off so we can fix our problem. Of course, the cover story is that he wants us to resolve our issues so that it doesn't interfere with us healing Megatron. If he is deemed unable to be recovered by the end of this megacycle, both Soundwave and Starscream are in an agreement to pull the plug on this whole thing. So, all we have to do, is enjoy the next three solar cycles that we have off, since Starscream doesn't want Megatron back anyway. And if Starscream becomes Lord of the Decepticons, that may mean that I am not only the CMO, but also the SIC."

The whole time Knock Out spoke, he was cautiously walking towards Breakdown. Not because he was scared of Breakdown, but his lack of control was giving his demons more ammo to use against him. He could feel the blackness swirling below his spark, promising safety and comfort as long as he didn't expose himself to others.

Eventually, the red mech found himself trapped in Breakdown's arms, but only lightly. The hold was loose enough that he could break it if he so desired, and Knock Out was thankful that Breakdown hadn't forgotten. Leaning into Breakdown's chest, Knock Out purred, "What do you want to do with that free time?"

A deep engine rumble was his only warning. Breakdown tipped Knock Out's helm back and met his lips with a fierce but chaste kiss. Gently, Breakdown started to suck on Knock Out's lower lip; not enough to demand entrance, but enough to reassure Knock Out that what they had was real, and to taste the mech without making him too uncomfortable.

Somehow, Breakdown always knew what to do when Knock Out went into one of his spirals of depression. Slowly reaffirming that what was said earlier still stood true in the light of day, Breakdown only took what he was given. Knock Out dreaded the day Breakdown decided he was tired of taking what was offered, and just stole what he wanted. _But that day isn't today_, he argued. Knock Out decided it was time to distract himself.

Cautiously Knock Out slid his glossa into his partners mouth, and slowly explored. Running his glossa along the inside of Breakdown's mouth, Knock Out tasted a combination that was half the sweet, necessary taste of energon, and the cool, heady ambrosia that was Breakdown. Slowly, Breakdown's glossa wrapped around Knock Out's, caressing lovingly. At first, Knock Out was unsure; he wasn't ready to have someone else's glossa in his mouth. But all the action stayed in Breakdown's mouth, and Knock Out moaned his appreciation.

Giving one last caress, Knock Out pulled his glossa back into his own mouth and ended with a chaste kiss to the corner of Breakdown's mouth. Leaning back, Knock Out looked into his partner's optics, expression softening as calm washed over him. The arms around him, the face in front of him, the warmth eneveloping him all were stable and inviting. And even in Knock Out distrusted himself, he could trust Breakdown. That much he knew.

"Something wrong?" the blue truck asked.

Smiling, Knock Out just leaned into the embrace, and murmured, "No. Everything's fine."

Quietly, Knock Out's engine started to purr, not unlike that of a cat. It was an ancient Cybertronian way of communicating the most basic feelings. Before Cybertronians could even write glyphs, they communicated through engine power. Aggression, contentment, arousal, panic, and a myriad of other emotions could be shown using this technique. Knock Out stated that he was content and felt safe with where he was.

But all good moments have to end, but this one ended internally. Knock Out's past came crawling back up to him, demanding to know just how many other mechs had given him this sense of comfort and inner peace.

Frowning slightly, Knock Out tensed a little and leaned forward onto Breakdown's arms, almost as if the arms were a railing, and that railing was all that was separating the poor mech from falling to his death.

The red car was seconds away from a panic attack when he felt a small vibration from behind him, along with the feeling of someone nuzzling him along his neck.

Breakdown. How is it that the mech always knew exactly what Knock Out needed? His engine was reassuring, with a slight possessive/protective edge. _I'll protect you, whether your adversaries are internal or external. I won't leave you. You are mine; I protect what's mine._ Raining feather light kisses on Knock Out's neck, Breakdown loosened his arms a little bit more, offering Knock Out escape should he choose to leave.

Knock Out stepped out of his arms, turned around, and looked. Just looked. At the friend, partner, bodyguard, protector…_lover_ that Primus had given him. He still had trust issues. He was abused for _stellar cycles_: this wasn't something that would go away in a few solar cycles. But Breakdown seemed like he would be the kind of mech to be able to earn his trust and keep a secret. He seemed like a mech that Knock Out could imagine being with for the remainder of his life-cycle. Maybe even as bondmates.

Shuddering on that last thought, Knock Out stood on his ped-tips and kissed Breakdown full on the mouth. The simplicity of the kiss, yet the passion behind it conveyed the words that Knock Out was reluctant to even _think_, but felt with his entire spark. The three words that once spoken would tie him to Breakdown forever; even if Breakdown decided he had had enough.

_I love you._

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><p>Can we all say "AAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW!" I think I have these guys moving too fast, but at the same time too slow. Its been only two days since the start of the fic (in their time) but KO already thinks he loves BD. If I ever get this story done, I may consider writing oneshots in this AU...I kinda like it...and I could introduce some OC's, but I think they may be better suited for G1...<p>

REVIEW PLEASE! IT MAKES ME UPDATE FASTER! _  
><em>

3 Huntress

P.S. Does anyone know how to make FF do the heart thing? It keeps cutting off the "less than" sign, and I look like i'm signing off "3 Huntress" it annoys me...

REVIEW! _  
><em>


	6. Panic Attack

Sorry about the huge delay...RL is a pain in the aft sometimes. But I'm back, and ready to write. Chapter 7 should be up sometime before Thanksgiving, (Nov. 25 I think). This chapter is kinda a filler, but is the basics for the main event of the story which should be coming up soon.

Chapter 7 is probably gonna be longer than usual, since it will be KO's thoughts during this chapter, and it will probably answer a question that most TFP followers are asking...read the chapter, and I think the "great dilemma" will be revealed.

On with the chapter!

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><p>Breakdown couldn't believe it. He was the luckiest mech in the entire universe. Not only did Knock Out return his affections, but they were close enough that they could kiss. <em>KISS!<em> It was everything that Breakdown had dreamed of.

He had the red mech moaning in his arms, lips pressed to his own. This was heaven. Slowly, Breakdown moved one servo to Knock Out's hip. Abruptly Knock Out froze. Worried that he had pushed too far, Breakdown pulled away.

Knock Out was trembling in his arms, and refused to meet his optics.

"Knock Out, are you okay?" Breakdown inquired, wanting to be sure that his partner wasn't having a panic attack, like he was known to do if things moved too fast.

The shaking just increased. Knock Out started desperately pulling away from Breakdown, still refusing to meet his optics.

Breakdown was at a crossroads, torn between wanting to keep his lover in his lap and letting him go to see what he would do. Deciding not to keep Knock Out trapped, he let him go.

Dealing with Knock Out was like dealing with an abused animal; anytime you thought you had made any progress at all, something would happen and all progress would be lost and then some. The usually confident mech was slowly walking away now, not turning around and showing his back to Breakdown, keeping his helm barely lifted so as to keep an optic on Breakdown's movement, the blue truck supposed.

Eventually Knock Out had walked to the back of the medbay, in front of the door that lead to their quarters. Panting slightly, Knock Out finally made contact with Breakdown.

The red optics were slightly ashamed, but mostly fearful. Breakdown could only guess what _Knock Out_ had to be ashamed of, but Breakdown knew he had to do something to get rid of the fear.

He just had to figure out what.

Remembering their first conversation regarding their feelings, Breakdown decided to do something similar. Slowly sliding off the berth, the blue mech splayed his legs out in front of him, and clasped his servos in his lap. Looking down at his servos and hunching his shoulders slightly, Breakdown made himself look as non-threatening as possible.

Knock Out made a soft clicking sound, almost sub-vocalizer, kind of like a human going "_Huh?"_ Tentatively, one ped stepped forward. Then the other. It was kind of a shuffle back toward Breakdown until the sports car halted about a foot away from him.

Turning his head to the side, Breakdown studied the mech. He was very handsome, no doubt about it, and was over cocky at times. But there was a dark past behind the shiny red finish; part of Breakdown wanted to be the one to solve his problems and soothe the pain, yet another part wanted to stay as far away from the darkness as possible.

Knock Out slid to the floor next to him, mimicking his postion, except for his servos; they were placed on the floor next to his thighs, supporting about half his weight, in a "ready to flee" position.

Revving his engine quietly, Breakdown showed his compassion for the mech, as well as his patience in the matter. Knock Out breathed a heavy in-vent, and turned to meet his optics. Leaning forward, Knock Out was but an organics' hair width away from Breakdown's face, and was just about to close the gap when Breakdown froze, tilting his helm to the side as his comm. system activated.

:Breakdown, Soundwave has picked up an Energon deposit energy reading, and wants you to check it out. I know you have time off, but, well, we need the Energon anyway, so get out and look for it:

The transmission was cut before Breakdown could respond. Turning back to the red mech, Breakdown explained, "Uhh...Starscream just told me to go look for some energon..Soundwave got a signal and he wants me to check it out. I'm sorry babe, but I gotta go."

Keening softly at the explanation, Knock out just leaned forward and kissed him, one last time. It was sloppy, desperate, and begging...for what, Breakdown didn't know.

Pulling away, a string of oral coolant connecting their mouths, the two mechs met each others optics before standing up, breaking the connection and turning away. Knock Out to Megatron's berth, and Breakdown to the command center to get the coordinates.

When the mechs were separated by a bend in the hall, two sub-voc engine revvs reverberated in the halls.

_Forgive me_.

And the answer to his desperate plea.

_I already have._

That was the last time Knock Out would see his partner completely whole and unharmed.

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><p>My attempt at a angsty cliff hanger...oh well. Again, reviews let me know that I haven't lost my audience. I know that this chapter sucks...I don't really like it, but there wasn't much that I could add, because I need KO to have a major freakout. More angsty thoughts from a certain sexy sports car anyone?<p>

As always REVIEW!

3 Huntress


	7. Dual Attacks

HAPPY TURKEY DAY EVERYONE! Okay, I know I said this chapter would be up before Thanksgiving...kinda late. But I made this chapter super long to make up for it! In fact, this may be the longest story you ever see from me...about 3,500 words, 12 pages, and going to bead at 12:30 am so I could upload it today...my love for my readers makes me do crazy things...and I have to go Black Friday sales at Target tonight, so wish me luck to not get trampled!

There's also my lil attempt at some smut, just to experiment with how it sounds...let me know what you think!

One with the chapter!

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><p>5 joors. It had only been 5 joors and already Knock Out was bouncing off the walls. His finish had been redone three times, medical supplies had been inventoried twice, and he had paced around the medbay and his quarters for the past 25 breems.<p>

This was ridiculous. Here he was, pining after his lover like some whiny femme that had her first relationship. _His lover_. The words echoed in his head. How had he gotten so lucky? How had he redeemed himself in Primus's optics, for him to have a mech as trusting as Breakdown?

_But he doesn't know the real you…he only knows the you that everyone else knows. If he knew the truth_…

"_STOP IT!_" Knock Out yelled to his demons.

_If he knew the truth he wouldn't even touch you…he wouldn't look at you the same way ever again...you would be nothing more than a liar, a coward hiding behind your glossy finish…_

"SHUT UP!" Knock Out cried, out loud this time, and ran to the medbay. He needed a distraction, and he needed one now. The demons were raging closer, drawing him back. Breakdown was still out…

_He's changing without you there…he's seeing you for the REAL you….the lying, pathetic, crying, weak WORTHLESS PIECE OF SCRAP THAT YOU ARE!_

Starscream deigned himself above socialization (not that he wanted to go to him anyway)…

_And about your promotion? Of course he'll give it to you…as long as you give him something in return…probably in the form of your mouth or valve, filled with his transfluid…just like old times…if you hadn't let Breakdown in, you wouldn't have this problem…it's all his fault…_

Megatron was still in stasis – wait. Looking, for the first time of his ten-breem rant, Knock Out saw his master's condition. His brain waves were…re-registering? But what could…

Glancing behind the berth, Knock Out located a glowing black and purple cord, similar to Soundwave's tentacles, except much more vibrant. One end connected to the back of his master's head, the other end disappeared into a grate in the back corner of the room.

Knock Out crept closer, unsubspacing his electrics prod in the process. The demons faded into the background of his CPU, but didn't disappear fully…they never did.

The Cortical Psychic Patch was returning his master's conscious bit by bit, and Knock Out was closer and closer to the grate, yet the demons quiet lurking was splitting his processor in ten different directions, distracting him to the point of making careless errors. One pedstep was a little too heavy apart from the others, and alerted whoever was in the grate of his whereabouts.

A cry of "Slag!" reached Knock Out's elfish audio receptors. It was the voice of the blue Autobot femme, Arcee. Anger, hot and fast, ran flashed through Knock Out's circuitry, demanding payback for scratching his finish on more than one occasion. Jamming his electric prod in the grate, he heard a different reaction than the cry of pain he was expecting.

"BUMBLEBEE! NOOO!" she cried. _Hmm..must have_ _been that yellow muscle car with the annoying human charge. _Pulling his prod out of the grate, muscle cables tensing in preparation for the next jab, three things simultaneously happened.

A shot rang out, and searing pain flashed through Knock Out's abdominal plating, Energon leaking profusely, dark purple dripping to the floor, through his clawed servo clutching his plating.

A bright green flash appeared in the grate with the two Autobots, the color of a spacebridge. The sound of metal on metal could be heard as the femme attempted to drag her partner out through the bridge to get back to their base.

And the brain wave readings on Megatron's chart reached 100%. The sounds of an onlining Cybertronian filled the room, and Knock Out knew his fate was sealed as soon as Megatron onlined his optics the exact moment Starscream entered the room to see what the noise was about.

Ripping the cables out of his chassis, Megatron raised his helm, eventually sitting up. Knock Out hurried to bow for his Master, which wasn't that hard to do, since he was already on the floor from the pain. The wound had missed his main fuel tank, thankfully, but the muscle cables around were far from healing correctly, and a few around the jagged edge of the hole were already starting to fuse together incorrectly. If allowed to sit as they were, the recovery process would involve ripping apart the cables and resetting them.

Massive silver peds filled his vision, and his masters dark and powerful voice rumbled through his audio receptors.

"I see that you have fought to have your master returned. Ever faithful, aren't we Knock Out?" Turning from Knock Out, the peds headed over to the quivering Seeker in the corner.

"And Starscream," he began, deceptively soft. "Have you enjoyed playing leader in my absence? I trust that with you in power, the Decepticons have unlimited Energon, we have won the war against the Autobots, and Earth is now under our command?"

Starscream bristled as Megatron made a mockery of each of his promised achievements should he be made leader.

"Breakdown is out as we speak looking for Energon, but he has contacted me with a request for backup. I will take some of the Vehicons and equipment to go to his aid."

Scrambling up the ramp Starscream attempted to leave, but not before a massive servo grabbed his wing, twisting it painfully. The screeching of metal being bent filled the room before it was joined by the painful cries of the Decepticon SIC. Megatron bore down on the Seeker, before dragging him down the hallway. Outside the _Nemisis_ Knock Out could here the stuttering engine of a Seeker thrown out of the main hatch, before the pressure returned and the thrusters kicked into gear. The monotone droning engine whine of the Vehicons followed, and Starscream jetted off into the distance.

Knock Out painfully got to his peds, throbbing pain lacing through his abdominal plating. The Energon had slowed a bit, but the cramping in his muscles showed the beginning signs of stiff muscles. Shuffling over to the berth in the medbay, Knock Out began his repairs.

* * *

><p>Lying on his berth, Knock Out had nothing left to do. Moving too much would aggravate the welds on his abdomen, so changing locations was not an option. That left the sports car with no one but his thoughts for company.<p>

That was never a good thing.

_Well well well…it seems not even STARSCREAM could convince Breakdown to come back. _

_**Breakdown doesn't listen to Starscream anyways…it's not like anything BAD could be happening to my partner right now…**_

_But Breakdown left...he chose his duties over you…if he truly cared, he would have found a way to get the both of you out of the Nemisis...although, where previous mechs had taken you outside, they ended up…well, TAKING yo-_

_**SHUT UP! You don't know what you are talking about!**_

_But don't we? We have watched you fall, and we were the ones to bring you back. You NEED us. We can protect you. Keep Breakdown at a distance…he says he cares now, but just wait, he'll leave soo-_

_**STOP IT!**_

_Soon enough, and when he does, you will need us…we are the only ones that really ca-_

_**DON'T SAY YOU CARE! DON'T EVEN SLAGGING SAY IT! All you have done is separate me from those that I care about…I have no one…**_

_But you'll always have us…We'll never lea-_

Knock Out couldn't take it anymore. Coolant streamed down his face, from both his thoughts and the pain in his abdomen; in his attempt to distract himself, he had rolled over, effectively jarring the welds. Not enough to damage them, but enough to shoot pain up each of his nervous circuitry.

Initiating emergency stasis, synching his systems to the medbay alarm, to wake him if the medbay was breached by a soldier needing help, Knock Out effectively threw himself into recharge.

* * *

><p>Yellow messages flashed across his HUD, alerting Knock Out through his link to the medbay that a mech wanted access. Testing the welds, he found that during his forced recharge, they had set most of the way. The only way they would jar now would be if he pulled on them too much continuously.<p>

Sluggishly powering up the rest of his motor functions, Knock Out slid over the side of his berth, peds hitting the floor before he stood upright, stretching his arms and servos before sauntering towards the door. A quick look in the mirror revealed that Knock Out looked as haggard as he felt. His optics were a dull red and gray, instead of the usual vibrant ruby and inky black. His facial plates were duller, less of porcelain, and more of a crème color. Even his finish looked tired. Knock Out was tempted to fix his finish and then answer the door, but the entrance was requested yet again by this patron.

_It better not be anyone important if they must see me in this deplorable state._ Knock Out thought as he left his quarters through the door that connected them to the medbay. Walking into the medbay brought in a whole slew of emotions. The Cortical Psychic Patch was still lying on the floor, and his pool of Energon had not yet been cleaned up. Grimacing, Knock Out continued to the side of the berth where Megatron had been resting for the past two megacycles, busying himself with the menial task of cleaning off the berth and cataloguing the changes in Megatron's prognosis as he ordered the door to open.

The familiar pedfalls of Breakdown floated to Knock Out's audios, finally silencing his demons that Breakdown wasn't coming back; but whether he wasn't coming back to _Knock Out_ was a different story.

"Knock Out, I'm sorry, but-"

_Just like we said! He's leaving you…_

"-I need your help with something."

Firmly shutting out his demons (for the time being) Knock Out turned to Breakdown in order to see what he needed help with. His spark broke at what he saw, as well as horror at the state of his partner's chassis.

"What _happened _to you?" Breakdown's right optic had been torn out of the socket, the circuits sparking every time Breakdown looked at something new and his optic circuits tried to make a connection from his nonexistent optic to his processor. Large cuts and dents marred his chassis, and the tell-tale marks of laser fire scorched across his shoulders and arms. Switching on his infrared vision, Knock Out could see the armor around his partner's wrists were much warmer from the rest of his body, showing that he had been using his hammers a lot recently.

Turning the vision off, Knock Out looked at the state of his partner. Something was off. He just didn't know what it was.

"Go ahead and get on the berth; I'll grab the tools," Knock Out ordered, thinking maybe his nagging feeling that something else was off would be solved by seeing his partner move. And it was. Breakdown moved as if nothing was wrong, like he was just taking a walk down the hallways of the _Nemisis_, or if he was walking around their quarters. Definitely not like he had been in a battle not 20 breems before.

"Why are you not in pain?" Knock Out inquired, worried for his partner's psychological health. That much damage should have a mech unable to move from the pain, unless he was damaged in the processor.

"They turned off my pain receptors," Breakdown intoned, quietly, almost distractedly.

"Who is 'they'? and why did they do that?" Knock Out demanded.

" 'They' happen to be a group of organics called M.E.C.H and they wanted to take me apart to see how we work. Wanted to create the most powerful weapon or something. And I guess they wanted me to see my own chassis being taken apart, since I put up a fight when they pinned me down," Breakdown explained, his voice dropping even lower. Not in that husky timbre that was saved for when they were alone; no, this was depression and self-loathing, two things KO knew all too well.

The sounds of cabinets and drawers being opened and closed, data being typed into a datapad, and tools powering up and shutting down filled the next 2 joors. Finally, Knock Out said, "I'm going to have to turn the pain receptors back on now. If everything feels fine, then I can add a new optic for you."

"Megatron says I can't have a new optic," Breakdown informed as Knock Out began the procedure for turning on his pain receptors.

Pausing in his work, Knock Out demanded, "Why not?"

"He says that if I couldn't get out of that mess by myself, then I don't deserve to get a new optic."

"That's ridiculous."

"That's his orders," Breakdown paused, as if trying to figure out if he should say something or leave it be.

Turning on the pain receptors, Knock Out asked, "How's it feel?"

"Fine," distracted muttering again.

Leaning over his partner, Knock Out looked in his one good optic. Cautiously leaning forward, Knock Out softly asked, "What's troubling you babe?"

"You were worried weren't you? That I wouldn't come back. That I left you. That I went back on everything that I've done for you, and that I had forgotten about everything we have." Breakdown quietly asked, optic darting around, not daring to meet KO's gaze, or any part of the red sports car.

Knock Out froze. How had Breakdown known? Was he that pathetic and predictable that Breakdown knew what he was going to do? Was Breakdown mad that he had doubted him and their relationship?

"Stop it. I know what you're thinking. I'm not saying that you are pathetic or not worth it. And I'm definitely not mad at you. I'm worried about you. When I'm not around, when I'm not with you…you seem to recede back into yourself by the time I return, and I feel helpless," Breakdown cut off, as if he had more to say, but bit it back.

Feeling his searching gaze, Knock Out straightened up and walked over the berth to the other shelves to get the finish to fix on his partner. When he stretched to get the materials, he hissed in pain; the welds were pulling on each other, and if he broke them, he would have scars…hideous scars.

His hiss didn't go unnoticed by his partner, who quickly watched him with more intensity. Groaning slowly under his breath, Knock Out contracted his cables and plating as he lowered himself back to normal height.

Knock Out tried to play it off for his partner's sake, but he couldn't quite get it. Breakdown finally seemed to take in the lackluster appearance of his partner, and, coupled with the weld marks, he finally questioned his lover.

"What happened to _you_?"

"Megatron is back online, as you know, but not by some medical miracle. The Autobot femme and that young scout were in here, hence the Cortical Psychic Patch on the floor back there. I found them, and that trigger-happy femme did her thing. Then Megatron regained consciousness, and the rest, as those blasted organics say, is history." Knock Out explicitly left out the forced recharge and demons in his spark. No need to frighten off his partner.

_Yet._ The ever-present demons supplied.

Walking over to his partner's berth side, Knock Out started to repaint him his unique shade of blue.

"I don't know what Starscream's reaction will be to Megatron's return, but my guess is that I'm going to get the brunt of the attack. Just…try not to get in the middle of it, okay Breakdown? I just…don't want you to get hurt because of me," Knock Out informed his partner. Breakdown didn't respond vocally; an unusually submissive purr of his engine effectively ended the conversation.

Slowly but surely, Breakdown's chassis once became like new, the only difference being the eye patch on his right optic socket.

"You're good to go. Don't do anything to the eye patch, but if it starts affecting your optic sensors, let me know so I can adjust it. Those humans really did a number on you."

After giving his partner the all clear to leave, Knock Out turned around and re-stocked all the shelves, saving the highest for last. Reaching for the paint, a large silver servo beat him to it, placing the items of the top shelf.

The close proximity was wearing on Knock Out's nerves. He longed to crawl back in Breakdown's arms, tell him everything, and hope for the best. But experience had turned him cold, and he had learned that it was always best to walk away.

Lips, ghosting on the back of Knock Out's neck, denta nibbling on the curve in his neck, glossa laving over the parts where the denta bit. Fixating on the joint where Knock Out's neck met his shoulders, Breakdown sucked and bit there, effectively marking him as his for the time being.

Silver servos wrapped around Knock Out's waist, slowly, giving him ample time to move or refuse. But Knock Out couldn't. He had been pushed aside for too long, and the past solar cycle had been Pit on his nerves. Angling his neck so he could feel more of the pleasurable sensations, Knock Out guided Breakdown's servos down from his hips to his hot pelvic plating.

Knock Out could feel his valve lubricating and spike pressurizing, but it wasn't _his_ pleasure that was making him feel this way. It was the long buried need to please his partner resurfacing. The subroutine had been thought to be destroyed, and it scared Knock Out to think that it still had a hold on him. He wanted Breakdown to stop, the whole situation to stop, but his body was working without his commands, heating up and lubricating without his permission.

Thankfully, Breakdown froze when Knock Out's servo guided his own to his lower plating. Breakdown knew something was wrong; his partner was enjoying himself because it seemed that this was what Breakdown wanted. Never before had KO made such a brave move; he even hesitated to initiate kisses, much less instigate a potential interfacing session. Taking control again, Breakdown grabbed Knock Out's servo and guided it back up to Knock Out's hips, unfastened his lips from his neck joint, and turned his partner around.

Not that Breakdown wasn't running hot either; his spike was nearly fully pressurized, and for a brief moment, wanted nothing more than to cover his partner's mouth with his own and take him, right there in the medbay, feeling the tight, wet, warmth of his partner's valve wrapped snugly around his spike, relishing in the sensation of thrusting into such searing heat, drowning out any objections with his mouth, drinking in the savory cries. If it were any other mech, Breakdown would have acted on it. But as it was, this was possibly the most important mech in the world to Breakdown; definitely not a one-nighter.

Looking deep into his optics, Breakdown placed one kiss on Knock Out's helm fin, making the red car shudder in desire that was not his own to control, and another one on his lips. Chaste, soft, warm, and forgiving…Knock Out moaned into the kiss, but not because of the charge making his systems run hot; but because _Knock Out_ wanted the kiss. He wanted _this_. What he had with Breakdown before any of this mess had started.

Breaking away from the kiss, Knock Out looked at his partner with another sub-voc whine from his engine.

_I'm sorry I'm so weak._

Breakdown's answering rumble silenced any of his attempts to apologize further.

_Never apologize for needing me._

Knock Out sighed; knowing he wasn't gain any ground in this argument, he led partner to their quarters. Knock Out's forced recharge hadn't gotten him any actual rest, and Breakdown had had one Pit of a day, so both were in need of decent recharge.

Climbing onto his berth, Breakdown looked at Knock Out, fully expecting him to climb onto his own berth and begin recharge. Instead, his partner walked over to Breakdown, slowly, as if expecting rejection, and climbed into his berth. Wordlessly, Breakdown took it in stride, and wrapped Knock Out in a lover's embrace, before initiating his own recharge sequence.

The last thing Knock Out thought of was that Pit-spawned subroutine that he thought had been deleted with the rest of Hubris. Why had it resurfaced now?

But more importantly, how did he get rid of it?

* * *

><p>Again, my attempt at a cliff hanger, my attempt at smut, and my attempt at a long chapter.<p>

LOVE REVIEWS AND LOVE YOU ALL! PLEASE REVIEW!

3 Huntress


	8. Authors Note Sorry!

Hi guys…wow…I'm so sorry for my lack of action here. I promise that I'm not abandoning the story, but I want to just let you guys know that I'm still alive! I apologize for not updating recently, but real life has been going crazy here. We (my family and I) will be moving over the summer, so I will be trying to get as much of this updated before the end of school. I need to do this before then, cuz I have exams/finals/pit-spawned devil tests, and packing to move out of my room at school + packing to move out of my room at home, and its just crazy!

AHHHHHHHH! But, I _swear_, on the ruins of Praxius, that I will continue to update this story. A huge thanks to all you guys who commented, alerted, and reviewed both this story and me! I welcome the support! Look for Chapter 8 by the end of March. I apologize that this is so far away, but I don't want to stress myself out with all sorts of extra things on top of everything else.

I've been struggling with school work, my ED, and trying to find a job to keep over the summer. Kinda hard to do, considering that _we are moving out of the state! UGHHHHHHHHH_!

But, have no fear. The story will keep being updated, but they may be far and few inbetween. But this will come to an end (appropriately) and I will complete this!

3 Huntress

P.S. Check out on my profile, there is a poll regarding OC's. I won't put any in this story, but I will probably make some with them in the end. But let me know if that would just annoy you guys. My OC's are of a different species entirely (not Cybertronian), but they will fit in with the G1 crew. I can also, however, just not post anything with them if you don't want me to. LET ME KNOW!


	9. Breakdown's Past

Hi again! Well, I guess this means that Angst muse is back. Like, more than back. She is now running the show...well, I guess that's good for the story! Here we finally get to see what Breakdown and Bulkhead's past is (at least, in my mind), as well as some more tender luvin's by KOxBD. YEAH!

Also, I just wanna clarify something, that may be bothering someppl, i just know that it bothers me when authors use their different time measurements and don't clarify. I like to think that mine are pretty self explanatory, but here is the key just for reference.

solar cycle = day

stellar cycle/vorn = 1 year

work cycle = 9am-5pm workshift

hope that clarifies!

ALSO! There is a mention of two named non-cannon characters, but they are not OC's and last for about two scenes, so OC haters rejoice!

Okay, on with the story!

* * *

><p>Breakdown looked down at his lover. While the red sports car was lost in the realm of recharge, Breakdown couldn't rest, even though he felt like he had been to the Pit and back both emotionally and physically. His chassis still ached from the prolonged effects of having his pain receptors turned off, and his CPU was spinning in a whirlwind of concern for his partner.<p>

Knock Out, his Knock Out, had been damaged in fight with the Autobot femme and scout, while he had been off fighting that idiot Bulkhead…

Breakdown sighed. Bulkhead and Breakdown's past was a horribly embarrassing one, in Breakdown's opinion. If anyone found out, especially Starscream who had witnessed his hesitance to destroy his function-long enemy, he would not only be the laughing stock of the Decepticon army, but his lover would no doubt treat him differently.

Breakdown and Bulkhead were brothers. No, not twins, or else neither would be able to fight the other without being brought down with the pain of their other half. Yet that wasn't the embarrassing part; Breakdown was younger than Bulkhead by one vorn. Breakdown was the baby of the family and hated that he couldn't best his older brother. No, they were just brothers, but their hatred went farther than some stupid sibling rivalry; Breakdown was the reason they were orphans.

Collision and Deadbeat were the perfect creators; to Bulkhead. They hadn't expected to have another child, and by the time they found out, it was too late for abortion. They only had the supplies, and the energy, to care for one creation. Bulkhead was always the center of attention, never went hungry, and even miniscule accomplishments were met with the utmost adoration and praise. The lack of caring and attention led Breakdown to resort to destruction to get any attention at all, regardless of it being negative. Breakdown then realized that he wasn't going to get any care from his creators, leaving him no choice but to grow up on his own.

He had no one to teach him were the good and bad parts of town were, no one to chase away nightmares, no one to teach him how to be a good Cybertronian. Breakdown had nothing. Nothing, that is, until the Wreckers noticed his brute strength and power. The Wreckers were an elite group of mechs who were responsible for maintaining the more elegant parts of Cybertron, like the Towers in Iacon, and the Crystal Gardens in Praxus. Thinking that his parents would finally be proud of him (after all, he was going to be working with Cybertron's nobility) Breakdown ran to his creators, carrying the news, only to be met with complete and utter dismissal. Collision called it a "Job for the stupid brutes who do nothing but destroy things," and Deadbeat chimed in "The money you make there won't do you any good at all. The pay is cheap, all for the nobles to do nothing more than laugh at you."

Breakdown had never felt more anguish in his life.

As a result, he learned to solve problems by pure force, and not thinking things through before hand. So when Bulkhead got accepted into the Wreckers, and his parents congratulated him on it, Breakdown snapped.

As soon as Breakdown was alone in his house with his creator, he put his talents of mass destruction to use. Sneaking up on Deadbeat, Breakdown changed his servos into his (not yet well-known) silver hammers, and dealt a crushing blow to his creator's helm. The satisfying crunch of metal under his attack filled Breakdown with a bloodlust that he hadn't felt before.

But the damage wasn't fatal. Whirling around, Deadbeat lunged at his attacker before he realized that it was his own sparkling.

"What is wrong with you? Don't you know that you could have killed me?" Deadbeat furiously roared into Breakdown's audios. But Breakdown wasn't having any of it. The blue youngling flipped them over, using his little used brute strength, and proceeded to pound his creator's face in. Hot energon sprayed onto his chassis, the tangy smell of heated metal clouding Breakdown's judgment.

Suddenly, the door to their tiny apartment was thrown open by Collision, who had felt the pain through her bond with her partner. Rushing over to the fallen mech, Collision crouched over her mate, who was rapidly loosing energon from the snapped and busted fuel lines in his neck.

"Why would you do this?" she shrieked at Breakdown, who was, at this point, only focused on one thing; make them hurt as much physically as I do mentally.

A bloodthirsty cry rang out in the air, coupled with the shattering of glass and denting of metal as Collision's faceplates gave away under the force of Breakdown's hammer. With her mate losing energon rapidly, and her own chassis in such a weak state, Collision knew that this was the end. Her fate was sealed due to the pure unadulterated rage she saw in her youngling's optics.

Rigidly standing over his creator's graying bodies, Breakdown felt numbness flow through him. _It wasn't supposed to go that far. Just, teach them a lesson. That I'm not one to be messed with, that I'm stronger than everyone gives me credit for. _The shock swam through Breakdown's conscience, interrupted only by Bulkhead's entrance into the apartment.

"Wha…what…what did you do?" Bulkhead whispered in his shock. Turning around, Breakdown wasn't aware of the scene he presented to his brother. Stained with the energon of his creators, optics glinting in a blood thirsty glee, smirking full of self-confidence in his recent acts, the grayed frames of his creators laying in a pool of their own energon on the ground; Bulkhead almost crashed from the shock.

"I just did what they told me I could never do; accomplish something great!" Breakdown's optics brightened in their insane glow, smiling vengefully as he ended the sentence.

"You monster! They-" Bulkhead began.

"Never cared for me at all!" Breakdown yelled back. "They only had optics for you! They didn't care about anything that I did; any accomplishments, anything that I held near to my spark! I was accepted into the Wreckers, and they didn't give me the time of day! But you, their _golden child_, got accepted, and suddenly it was the equivalent of being chosen for _slagging Prime!_"

"I'm surprised that you have a spark at all! _You murdered our parents! _I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!" Bulkhead screamed back. "I WILL NEVER, EVER, _EVER_, LET THIS GO!"

With that, Bulkhead called the local Enforcers. Rushing through the door, they grabbed the energon-covered youngling, and carried him out, screaming and dealing punches and kicks, of the apartment.

"YOU THINK THAT I'LL FORGIVE YOU? WITHOUT YOU, THEY MIGHT HAVE LOVED ME!" Breakdown screamed, his vocalizer dissolving into static at the end of the sentence.

* * *

><p>Breakdown ended up sitting in the stockades for the next five stellar cycles, until the Decepticons conquered the Neutral area that the stockades were located in. Staying in the stockades for so long had hardened him into a seemingly sparkles brute, focused only on his strength.<p>

After the Decepticons destroyed the stockades, Breakdown crawled his way through the wreckage, until the whine of Seekers engines filled the air. Null rays scorched the air around the blue mech, and the warlord himself landed in front of the mech.

Circling him, like a wolf does in appreciation of a potential meal, Megatron watched Breakdown's movements and responses to his occasional advances. His defense was amazing, and though offense could use some work, he decided that Breakdown was worth the wait.

"You seem like a good candidate for my army. I enjoy the chance to see a frontliner like you, able to hurt more than those..._useless_…seekers," Megatron rumbled to Breakdown.

"What makes you think that I would join you?" Breakdown questioned.

Megatron chuckled darkly. "Can you really afford not to? Either you join my side, or you die…it's _really_ not that difficult…"

Breakdown didn't have anything to lose, except his life. Deciding to actually think for once, Breakdown agreed. He had been working for the Decepticons for only a few megacycles, before he was called out to his first battle. His orders were simple; protect the seekers from the Autobot's cannons by damaging them, preferably destroying the 'Bot's inside.

Charging forward, Breakdown followed the masses, until the cannons fell into view. Jumping ahead of the rest of them, his hammers came out and attempted to smash until his blow was ricocheted off of something. Dazed, Breakdown looked around. Nothing had been able to stop a blow from his hammers before…nothing, that is, except…

"Bulkhead…" growled Breakdown.

"Miss me?" Bulkhead snapped back. His shielded fists glowed bright with the hatred for his younger brother.

Their optics met, icy blue against smoldering gold, and their fists clashed again. Rushing at each other again and again, the brothers charged at the other, changing directions and angles, each trying to land a blow on the chassis of their most hated enemy. Unbeknownst to the warriors, Megatron watched appreciatively from the bridge of _The Nemisis_.

_The passion he shows for trying to destroy that Autobot…maybe it would be good to keep him around, just for motivation for the young frontliner. Yes, Breakdown needs more motivation to stay at my side…and that Autobot seems to be the key. But first, that green fool must be kept alive. _

Exhausted beyond comprehension, condensation dripping off their chassis, the brothers prepared to attack again, when the unmistakable baritone of the gunmetal grey warlord sounded the retreat. Smirking to himself, Breakdown pulled away from his brother, transforming and driving up to the _Nemisis_.

For a long time, the only thing keeping him tethered to the Decepticon side was his hatred for his brother. That all changed when he met Knock Out.

Something about the extravagant sports car drew him in. He had been working to get closer to the medic; regardless of his earlier learned lessons that force brought you what you wanted, Breakdown felt that caution would be the best approach to deal with his feelings for the CMO.

And work they did. Shifting of the mech in his arms brought Breakdown out of his reverie. With a low moan, KO angled his helm to fit in the junction of Breakdown's neck and shoulder. Snuggling in closer, Knock Out finally sighed in contentment, before onlining briefly.

"Couldn't recharge?" His lover's voice was husky with sleep, making the deep register of his voice seem even deeper.

"Something like that…"Breakdown whispered, purposely leaving out his reminiscing of his and Bulkhead's past.

Growing concerned, the sports car brought a servo up to cradle the bigger mech's face in his hand. Nuzzling closer, Breakdown relished in the contact, something he thought would only be possible in his recharge fluxes.

"You know that you can tell me anything…right?" A flash of fear glowed in the ruby red optics; Breakdown assumed that KO thought that he was worried about _them._

_How can he possibly think that? We are _perfect_ together…there I go again, sounding like a whimpy femme. _

Leaning down, Breakdown pressed his lips against the pursed frown on his lovers face. Coaxing the mech into a kiss, Breakdown pulled his medic closer to him, deepening the kiss just before pulling away, barely, to whisper, "It has nothing to do with you, babe. I'm just a little preoccupied with the events of today…or, I guess yesterday, by now," checking his internal chronometer, which read 12:30 am, Breakdown amended his statement. "But never doubt _us. I_ never will, and I want you to follow suit."

Barely breathing for fear of breaking the spell cast over the two of them, Knock Out slowly nodded his assent, before reaching upwards to continue the kiss. Moaning low in his throat, Breakdown had to remind himself to take it slow, for Knock Out's sake, lest all these stellar cycles of work go to waste.

Wrapping the medic in his arms, Breakdown slowly rolled onto his back, pulling the medic on top of him. Knock Out stiffened in surprise, but by slowly massaging the small of the red mech's back, Breakdown calmed his lover. _So perfect_, Breakdown thought as he lost himself in the taste of his medic.

* * *

><p>A few rounds of making out later, the light from the Earth's sun flooded the room, casting an ethereal glow upon the cherry red sports car. Faceplates lightly stained pink with heated energon, optics slanted in a daze of pleasure; Breakdown was sure that there was nothing on this planet that looked as beautiful, as <em>tempting<em>, as the mech before him.

Looking up at his lover, Knock Out finally said, "You should get some recharge. I have a feeling that you are going to be busy today. I can cover for you in the work cycle, since we now have nothing to do; unless a bunch of Vehicon's, or Starscream, get themselves slagged today, we should have a slow work cycle."

Starting at the concern from his lover for his well being, Breakdown replied, "It's no trouble. I've worked full shifts with less recharge than this…"

"Please Breakdown," his lover pleaded, "just…just give me this peace of mind? That you're resting and okay? I just…don't wanna go through yesterday all over again."

Reaching forward and cradling the scarlet mech's helm in his hands, Breakdown finally acquiesced, "Okay, doc. Whatever you want."

Faintly smiling, Knock Out granted Breakdown one more chaste kiss before untangling himself from his lover and stretching before walking out the door. Little did Breakdown know that Knock Out was going to be in for one pit of a day today; not only did some serious research need to be done, but a certain seeker was going to extract some serious revenge. And little did Knock Out know that Breakdown may not get there in time to save him.

* * *

><p>Well...that's the crappiest ending that I've ever written. I hope that this kinda fills in some blanks. A warning for the next chapter; explicit mentions of certain things...I don't wanna give too much away, but I also want to just warn you that the next chapter could be triggering for some people.<p>

You know what I love more than KOxBD? REVIEWS!

R&R my faithful readers!

3 Huntress


	10. The Past Says Hello

Hey y'all. I just have a couple things to say before the chapter begins, and they are kinda important. First thing, the dividers kinda act like commercial breaks, as if you were watching this on T.V.

Second, this chapter ends with kinda a cliffhanger...the next chapter will consist of flashbacks and more explanations.

Third, I'm using the Cybertronian Dataplex as kinda the Cybertronian version of Google/Facebook. You can use it to look up information on other mechas, and also use it to research topics, like KO does here.

Fourth, and this is a warning, I mentioned previously that KO suffers. And suffer he does. The demons make another appearance, and Starscream extracts his revenge. We also get to see another side of the demons, perhaps the original purpose for them. /:)

Warnings: non-con oral, excessive blood, panic attack, use of human and Cybertronian swears, and an over protective lover on a rampage

If any of that makes you squick, then just PM me and I'll give you a summary of what happened.

Fifth (ik, there's alot here), there is an excessive use of italics, bolding, underlining, and a combination of all three in this chapter. For the most part, it means this:

blah _blah_ blah = italics equal emphasis

_blahblahblah_ = thoughts/KO's typing

_blahblahblah_ (w/ underlining. for some reason isn't letting me underline) = the text on the terminal that KO reads

_**blahblahblah**_ = the demons thoughts

**blahblahblah** = terminal speech/displays

I hope that clarifies...

Sixth (last one, I promise) this chapter kinda goes between Starscream and KO, but it wouldn't make much sense if I had just left it as KO.

Without further ado, here's the chapter!

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><p>Knock Out sauntered away from his partner, currently recharging on their berth. He was glad for the compliance of his lover. Had Breakdown put up a fight of recharging, Knock Out was sure that he would have had one more unnecessary evil weighing him down.<p>

Breakdown's safety had always been important to him. Losing Breakdown would not only mean losing his apprentice, but also losing the closest friend that he had ever had. Now, the blue mech's status was even more important in his life, something that Knock Out didn't take lightly.

Softly, the red mech touched his lips, reliving the sensation of being kissed. _He really is a fantastic kisser. He's so gentle and understanding, but I can also feel the passion for me burning in some of them. It's almost become our new way of communicating. _Unfortunately, his thoughts weren't left alone. At first the demons had stayed away; the stress of Breakdown's injuries followed by his near constant presence in the night had ensured that Knock Out's mind was quiet, or at least occupied with more pleasurable topics.

Now, the demons had full reign, no distractions, and Knock Out could tell that today was going to be a trying one for him. A sinister presence and dull ache, usually associated with the inner hell-dwellers had surfaced, and soon the dark thoughts began.

_**And all the others were "fantastic kissers" as well…then again, they were also "fantastic frags", which you welcomed with open arm-**_

_Shut up! You don't know what you are talking about! Breakdown truly cares about me; you don't! And I didn't welcome them…they forced themselves upon me. _

_**Oh-ho, don't we? We have been there with you through every stage of the way; we put you back together again after every bit of hell you went through; right down to making sure that you would **_**adjust**_** to dealing with your hell. Even though you deserved it. We had your back through everything-**_

_Stop it!_

_**-through your first bad deals-**_

_Frag off!_

_**-all the way to your first times that weren't planned! **_

_I left those memories-_

_**In the dust? Behind you? Likely story, Knock Out. When you rid yourself of us, then you rid yourself of the memories. Ask yourself, why does your body not obey your commands? **_

_What are you talking about?_

_**Don't play stupid,**_ the voices crooned; _**you know exactly what we mean. When you and your so-called "different" lover were in here, YOU couldn't control yourself. You acted just like the worthless slut that you are.**_

_No, no I-_

_**Moaning and throwing your head back? Dragging his servo down to your heated panel, lubricating in preparation of being fragged, like the good little whore you once were, and still are? Primus knows that you would never out grow this, or leave us in the past.**_

_Fuck off!_

Firmly throwing up his mental blocks, Knock Out tried to stop the assault from his demons. Finally, the sports car reached the terminal in the medbay. Opening up the network systems, Knock Out connected his machine to the Cybertronian Dataplex, which would bring up other relevant searches/essays to his entered query. Granted, the Cybertronian Dataplex no longer existed as a whole, (having been destroyed in the war on Cybertron) but copies of the original documents floated around in the networks. The system search would select the ones relevant to his "condition", and bring them to the forefront.

**Enter query:** _permanent subroutine deletion_

Knock Out finished typing and stepped back as the computer did its job. Depending on the amount of files with related topics, this search could take anywhere from two breems, to two joors. A sudden ache in the back of his helm decided to make itself known. A building pressure, like something straining against it's bonds, pushing to get free. _Primus, they just keep getting stronger, don't they? _ Knock Out bemoaned to his deity about his demons.

Turning his back to the terminal, Knock Out shook his helm free of the pain (mostly) and sat down on one of the medbay berths, his short stature allowing his peds to dangle above the ground. Childishly, he started swinging his legs as he thought.

_Breakdown seemed rather distracted this morning. I wonder what had him so worried? I know for a fact that he wasn't sleeping well, but he was exhausted! Why wouldn't he tell me? I thought that he trusted me? I mean sure, this relationship had only existed for, like, four, maybe five, solar-cycles, but we had known each other for much longer! Why would he-_

A beep from the terminal startled Knock Out free of his thoughts.

_Well, that was fast…a little too fast._

Frowning, Knock Out glared at the terminal. With only one result, Knock Out's search was beginning to seem desperate. Still, KO had nothing left to lose, and he selected the document.

**Retrieving document; opening sequence: **_100%_

Another flash of pain, white hot, seared through the red mech's helm. Groaning internally, Knock Out tried to squash the pain by continuing with his research. Gritting his dentas, Knock Out looked at the terminal.

The screen loaded the document, which pre-dated the war. Not entirely sure if the information would even be relevant anymore, Knock Out reluctantly started to read.

_One of the started practices of altering subroutines has been an underground programming service that has existed for generations. Usually used in black market practices in the marketing and manufacturing of pleasure bots, drones, and pet-bots, altering subroutines is an alarmingly simple process that has the ability to damage mechas sparks and CPUs, if not taken care of, over time. _

_Well, that explains a few things,_ Knock Out mused. _Even after running scans on my spark and CPU, even after thinking that the subroutine was gone, the damage may have already been done. _A sense of hopelessness fell over the mech.

If the damage was already done, what was the point? The demons would torture him night and day, the random attacks from his altered programming would eventually run rampant, and Breakdown would finally realize just how broken the mech he claimed to love was.

But like his lover had said, "_Decepticon's don't break that easy!" _Knock Out knew that someway, somehow, he would turn the tides and finally best his condition. However, he had to keep reading to find out. Turning back to the terminal, the red mech continued reading.

_First, the patient must have an unbonded spark; having a bond changes the spark in more ways than mech's realize. When bonding takes place, a little piece of each mech's spark breaks off, switches places, and merges permanently with the others. This piece of the spark takes many subroutines that have become essential to the mech's personality: their emotions and other subroutines that are important to their identity. If someone has a subroutine from another mech, then it complicates the operation. _

_When a subroutine is injected, or altered, then it leaves an imprint on the mech's spark. It becomes a part of the mech's essential personality; otherwise categorized under the information that would be transferred with the possibility of a spark bond. If there is a bond already in place, then the mech's systems would completely reject the change. The only way to over come it, would be to break the bond, and then delete their subroutines that had been transferred, which, depending on the strength and age of the bond, had the potential to deactivate the mech undergoing the procedure. _

_Assuming the spark is unbonded, the surgeon would then scan the spark for any abnormalities. This screening would then_ –

_No sense in reading the procedure that I already know. But that information on spark bonding seems pretty relevant,_ Knock Out pondered. The red mech re-read the passage, carefully looking for any deeper meanings.

"When a bonding takes place…takes many subroutines…essential to personality…," Knock Out read to himself, alternating between mumbling the words out loud, and reading them in his head. Something about the emphasis placed on the importance of finding an unbonded spark had resonated with the sports car. But why?

_Well medically it makes sense; too much of another mech's CNA, and it could lead the patient to reject the altered subroutine…but wait…if a mech's altered subroutine would become part of the subroutine's naturally selected to be exchanged when a bonding takes place, then the subroutine would…_

"Leave the mech's spark!" Knock Out finished out loud. Awe and amazement flooded his frame, leaving himself a little light headed. The cure was literally within his reach! But, alas, there was one drawback. "What could the effect be on the mech who was bonding to the patient? If I bonded with Breakdown, what would be the outcome on him? Would he suffer from he same effects I do, or would his body reject it? It's not necessarily a risk that I'm willing to take…"

Knock Out trailed off as the magnitute and implications of the cure finally hit home. The one thing that could cure him, had to be, just _had_ to be, the one thing that Knock Out was absolutely terrified to do. Bonding ensures no more secrets, no more lies; no more pretenses. He wouldn't be able to hide himself any longer. And Breakdown would see the truth.

But if he didn't do the bond, then his subroutine would eventually take back control, and he would be left with his previous state, alone and perpetually victimizing himself. Either way, Breakdown would know just how shitty the mech he claimed to love was, and Knock Out couldn't let that happen. Either way, Knock Out lost. Either way, he would be alone. Again.

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><p>Shell shocked, the cherry red sports car stood there, in front of the terminal, his thoughts whirling around in a tornado of hope, confusion, and despair. And through it all, the pain in his helm grew hotter and more potent.<p>

His vision began to swim, and the pain became a sharp knocking in his helm. Every nerve in his body became suddenly like a live wire in an electrical storm, sparks zapping to and fro and not showing any signs of stopping. No conscious thought was going through his mind; the demons all tore through them, ripping them to shreds, until all he felt was the mind numbing pain.

The steady knocking in his helm was growing worse and worse and worse, until finally he realized that it wasn't from inside his helm at all, but from the medbay doors. With that realization, the medic's torrent of torture stopped. The world sprang back into focus, energon stopped rushing around in his audio receptors, and the electrical storm in his chassis had reached its finale. The peace was so sudden; the quiet rang in his ears.

The incessant knocking rang through the quiet of the medbay. Normally, the arrogant medic would have just let them suffer. But as it was, he had a recharging lover in the back, and had just fought off a panic attack. His façade was in shambles and he could only hope that he didn't have an officer to deal with. Then again, only one mech had the insistence, as well as a low enough status, to keep banging at the door.

Megatron could have just overridden the door, or, the more likely scenario shot it down with his fusion cannon.

Soundwave, the genius hacker, would have just cracked the code, regardless of his TIC and Chief of Communications official status.

The Eradicons would have been clogging up the comm. lines to get him to open the door, or would have left by now.

That left the irritable, tenacious, treacherous seeker himself, Starscream. Not only an officer, but also the exact mech that Knock Out didn't want to see. Quickly shutting down the terminal, the medic hurried to the doors to see what the bossy SIC needed now.

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><p>To say that Starscream was shocked at how fast the doors opened would be a massive understatement. Optics wide, fist frozen en route to the door, no doubt to knock again, the seeker looked, how did the organics say it, like a deer in headlights.<p>

Not only annoyed that it was _Starscream_ of all mechs standing on his doorstep, but also he appeared to have not one scratch on him, Knock Out snapped, "What do you want, Commander?"

Bristling at the lack of "proper" address, the seeker's signature smarmy grin oozed onto his faceplates, as he responded, "That is not your place, Medic. Now come with me; I have some things I need to discuss with you."

Out of nowhere, the flash of pain from the demons trying to break through came back, only this time, the sensation of something ripping followed. Alarmed, the medic ran a preliminary scan to see if it was physical. The good news, it wasn't. The bad news, the demons were free. And they were doing the one thing that they did best; "protect" Knock Out.

_**Don't go with him! He cannot be trusted! **_

_Tell me something I don't know, idiots._

Nodding his head in assent, Knock Out followed the seeker out of the medbay and down the hall.

_**He's dangerous…we think something bad is about to happen…something that we were made to **_**help**_** you overcome…**_

_Like what? Is he going to rape me or something? He can't do anything to me that I haven't lived through before. _

_**Just because it's happened before, doesn't make it any less painful…**_

With that chilling message, the demons faded away. Slightly confused, as the demons never left of their own accord, the red medic trailed after the seeker. Finally, the SIC stopped on one of the lower decks of _The Nemisis_. Currently being used for nothing but storage, there were large crates of extra supplies. Lack of care led to less than trustworthy lighting, as the lights above flickered on and off, occasional sparks snapping forth. Smirking to himself, the angular mech turned around to face the confused medic.

"Well here we are. It is truly a shame that you couldn't follow through with your orders, Knock Out. If you had, none of this would be happening."

A sinking feeling rushed through Knock Out's chassis, making his tanks feel like he was going to purge. "What do you mean, heir commandant?" Faking confidence was the only way that Knock Out could get Starscream to talk, maybe give him more evidence as to what he truly wanted.

"It really was a simple procedure," began the seeker, towering over the sports car as he advanced upon him. "Just make sure that Megatron _doesn't_ come back, and keep yourself out of my way to becoming the true Lord of the Decepticon cause. You failed me, Knock Out."

Assuming that he was going to get nothing more than a beating, Knock Out continued with the façade of his confidence, although the sinking darkness in his spark continued to grow. "I beg your pardon Starscream, but I don't quite understand. _I_ didn't consciously bring Megatron back; you saw the Autobot scout and femme. They are to blame, not I."

Had Knock Out not been so tired from his previous panic attack, or even on his top game, he would have seen warning signs. The tightening of Starscream's servos at his sides, the constant advancement of the seeker, the dingy lighting…

But as it was, the poor medic's sensors were frayed. Unaware of what was to come next, Knock Out unwittingly allowed himself to be backed into the wall of the hallway.

The seeker's hand, lightning fast, whipped around from behind him and struck Knock Out in the face. At first it was numbing, but then the pain came in full force. Reaching up to his lip, he felt the energon pouring forth. Glaring up at the seeker, Knock Out was about to retort, when the other servo came forth and stuck the other side of his face.

"Don't blame those Autobot fools on YOUR incompetence, Medic. You let this happen to yourself. And this punishment is only fair, considering that Megatron has inflicted this upon myself ever since that day."

Starscream's fingers curled to create talons, and slashed through the main lines in Knock Out's shoulders, elbows, and hips. Energon sprayed everywhere, dousing the seeker and medic in the sticky dark pink substance. The sudden loss of energon was starting to affect Knock Out. Slumping to the floor, the once vain and proud medic lay in a pool of his own fluids, throbbing in pain on the bottom level of _The Nemisis_.

Cupping the porcelain face of his victim with energon stained claws, Starscream leaned in close. "While Megatron may not have damaged me to this extent, I needed a, _reassurance_, that you weren't going to try to make a break for it. Next, is the real punishment."

Deceptively gentle, the SIC guided Knock Out's mouth open. Tiredly, the once firey ruby optics shone with unshed tears, pleading to be set free. Again, he was denied.

_**We tried to warn you. We told you that he was no good, and did you listen? NO. That mech has changed you Knock Out; had it not been for Breakdown's "love", you wouldn't be here.**_

_Don't you dare blame Breakdown! He did nothing to put me here! _

_**He made you weak, trusting, vulnerable. Now, not only did you not listen to us, but you didn't listen to Starscream as well. Shut up and take it, you little whore. **_

The voices fled his mind, and Knock Out was forced back into the present. The loss of energon was getting to him. For the second time that day, Knock Out's vision swam, fading in and out, getting hazy around the edges. Yet everything snapped into focus with the tell-tale 'snick' of a panel opening.

What little fluid was left in his fuel lines ran cold, as Knock Out finally put two and two together. Desperately he tried to struggle away, to get away from this monster, but with his fuel lines severed, he would die if he tried to run or even crawl away from here. But that didn't stop his fuel pump from jumping like mad.

Noticing his struggle, Starscream murmured, "Tut-tut Knock Out. You should know, the only way to fix these is to cauterize them. If you don't run away and learn your lesson, then I promise that you will survive. If not, well, Breakdown should be qualified enough to be the next CMO, shouldn't he?"

With that, the seeker thrust his now erect spike into Knock Out's mouth. Slightly gagging on the heated metal, Knock Out had no choice but to swallow around the intrusion, and hopefully make the process go faster. Roughly, Starscream began fucking the medic in the mouth, unknowingly sending Knock Out's conscious spinning.

One moment, he was in the moment, with the seeker abusing him. The next, he was back on Cybetron, on the dark streets of Kaon. Behind a club, chained to a pole, handcuffed as mech's took turns abusing his mouth, port, and aft, transfluid covering the silver and black mech.

A dark mech overloaded in his mouth, forcing Knock Out to swallow, lest he drown in transfluid. With a gasp, he was brought back to the present, as the seeker crushed his jaw in his grasp, the metal straining to hold its shape.

Risking a whine in discomfort, the medic was rewarded with a slap across the face, making the spike slide even deeper, down his throat tubing. Moaning in bliss, the seeker reached down with his left servo, as his right was still holding the medic's face, and massaged Knock Out's throat.

Not to assuage the feeling of pain and bruising, but to guide his spike even deeper. Hips flush against the red mech's face, Starscream abruptly thrust his spike as deep as he could go, causing Knock Out's gag reflex to go off.

The sudden tightening around his spike, and the vibrations from the coughing, sent the seeker into a rough, frenzied overload, wracking through his systems, transfluid flooding the passage. Pulling free, Starscream looked at his handy work.

Sparks from cables and fluid lines being broken jumped free from the medic's broken body. His optics were unfocused, and silvery transfluid dripped out of his mouth, mixing with the energon from the split in his lip. Arching his back off of the wall, Knock Out took a deep gasp of air, as much as his pumps would allow. Again and again, he gasped for air, trying desperately to regenerate his focus.

The medic looked sufficiently broken. But not nearly as broken as Megatron left him after these sessions at his "tender mercy."

Pushing his face close to Knock Out's audio receptors, the seeker breathed, "That was only the beginning. The finale is about to begin." Reaching down to Knock Out's crotch, Starscream ran his talons down the panel there. Desperately the red mech tried to pull away, thrashing his helm back and forth, only to suddenly stop.

Smirking to himself, the SIC didn't halt his actions, or even look up. Gathering the one strength he had left, Knock Out gritted his dentas and kicked his leg out, not trying to hit the seeker, but to get his attention.

The distraction worked. "What?" the seeker snapped, finally looking up. Smirking, Knock Out looked Starscream dead in the optics and murmured, so only Starscream could hear, "You lose."

Confused, the seeker was about to retort when a large blue blur ran into him. Throwing Starscream into a pile of crates, Breakdown stood and looked down at his partner.

Knock Out was torn. Part of him was glad that Breakdown came, that he would help him, finally. Another part of him was mortified that his lover had to see him in such a state. Broken physically, drowning in his own fluids, covered in that seekers transfluid; Knock Out had nothing left. Breakdown was seeing him at his most raw.

Afraid of the rejection that meeting his gaze may cause, Knock Out rolled his helm over to the right hand side, only to see Starscream getting out of the crates. Coughing up energon and transfluid, the medic grunted out, "He's...n-not d-d-dead yet... b-Breakdown."

At this, the blue truck snapped his head up. Almost calmly, Breakdown walked over to the seeker.

"What are you doing Breakdown? This isn't your place!" hissed the seeker, like a deranged cat that had gotten it's feet wet.

"When it concerns _my_ lover, it is!" he growled back, like a wolf defending it's mate. Standing in front of the fallen medic, Breakdown crouched, hammers at the ready.

The shock from what he had just said finally sunk in to the red mech. My_ lover, what does he mean, _my_ lover?_ This line of thought continued as he finally blacked out; the loss of energon had reached critical levels, and he was going under. The last thing he remembered was reaching out for Breakdown with his energon stained servos, moaning, "Please…help…"

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><p>Well, there's the chapter! Hope you guys liked it! Please, please leave reviews! They help me to get off my aft and type this stuff up!<p>

BTW, the reason that KO didn't fight back, and idk if I conveyed this enough, but his mind was still kinda stuck on the idea of having to confront his biggest fear in order to get better. When Starscream cut his fuel lines, he was losing a bunch of energon, and it kept him from trying to move.

Again, hope for a review!

3 Huntress

P.S. I got an anon review from username Nevermore of Ravenhelm who asked me to beta their story. No probs, as long as I can get your actually username! I'd be happy too! ~(^.^)~


	11. Aftermath and Moving Forward

Hi all! So sorry for the long distance between the updates! I've been trying, but...I am a lazy author... :/) This chapter continues after the cliff hanger in the last one, and has BD's tasks and what not during when KO and Starscream were...uhh..._busy..._

Sorry if I didn't quite get the "in-shock" victim persona of Knock Out done quite right, but this chapter was kinda hard to write to begin with. I tried as best as I could, though, and I would appreciate any and all critiques to improve my writing style; just no flames, kay?

The first part of the chapter, above the first divider, is from KO's POV. The second section is BD's POV. This chapter was supposed to be a Breakdown chapter, but I wanted to get a little more of KO's perspective in there, just a little bit.

On with the chapter!

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><p>Pain. All he was aware of was pain. His helm ached, his fuel lines felt as if liquid fire was rushing through them, and his whole chassis felt as if he had been shot by Megatron's fusion cannon.<p>

Grunting, Knock Out onlined his optics. The harsh light of the medbay greeted him. Squinting, he let his optics adjust, before movement caught his attention. Out of habit, Knock Out reached for his prod in the subspace pocket on his left thigh. Unfortunately, not only was he strapped down on the berth, but he also was causing more unnecessary pain. Quietly, he whimpered.

The same silhouette that had moved was now circling the berth, until the light finally shone on his facial plates. Concern was etched into Breakdown's expression as he finally stood in full view of his lover. Knock Out felt horrible on the inside.

Partly because of the immense amount of pain that he was in, but also because he felt as though he had let his lover down. Seeing him in that state…why would any mech want to keep him around? _He's probably going to tell me that we're over. _Knock Out thought bitterly.

Childishly turning his head, Knock Out continued to ignore Breakdown. That is, until Breakdown started to talk.

"Are you okay?" Smirking to himself, Knock Out bit back his retort of _just dandy, how are you?_

"Slag, that was stupid. What I meant was…I mean…Primus damnit Knock Out, what the Pit just happened? One moment you're telling me to just recharge, the next I find Starscream abusing you! What. Happened."

Knock Out, still keeping his helm turned away from the blue truck, stammered, "I told you…he was going to extract revenge…I-I just didn't expect it to be this…p-personal. I didn't want y-you to know. I didn't want you to find out. I didn't want you to see me like that. You must h-hate m-me, huh?"

Confused, Breakdown took a step back. "Babe, why would I hate you? YOU didn't do anything to trigger what Starscream did to you. You aren't to blame. You are innocent in this."

Coolant fluid threatened to fall from Knock Out's optics. He wanted to believe him, so badly. But his demons wouldn't allow himself to.

_**We told you not to go with that Primus damned seeker…but did you listen? Of course not. Screw you Knock Out... Oh wait; STARSCREAM ALMOST DID! GO TO HELL! **_

Whimpering, Knock Out did nothing to stop the demons. He didn't fight them, letting the darkness settle in the recesses of his mind, their misty tendrils covering the surface of his consience. After all, everything was done. Breakdown saw him at his lowest, his most broken. Why would he possibly want him back?

Turning the conversation around, Knock Out questioned, "How did you find me?"

"What?"

"I said…how did you find me? We were," a choked breath, " we were on the bottom level of the ship, in the storage compartments…no one goes down there…how...?"

"Well, after you told me to go to recharge…"

***FLASHBACK***

_Breakdown groggily awoke, stretching like a feline, though not nearly as graceful as his partner. '_That was the best recharge that I've gotten in a while'_ he thought to himself. Rolling out of the berth, Breakdown looked through the back window to the medbay, expecting to see Knock Out working on datapads, or just cleaning his already immaculate equipment. _

_Instead, the barren emptiness of the medbay stretched before him, taunting him with the question of where his lover could have gone. Stepping into the medbay brought no more answers. The equipment hadn't been touched at all; in fact, the only thing that seemed remotely used was the terminal. The keypad felt warm, as though it had just been used. Other than that, it seemed the CMO hadn't been in his domain for long. _

_Suddenly, his audio receptors picked up a faint conversation. "…I have some things to discuss with you." Breakdown would recognize that screechy voice anywhere; Starscream. The clicking of his heels could be heard from miles away, although it was the next set of pedstepps that both calmed and alarmed Breakdown. The unique gait of none other than Knock Out himself followed Starscream down the hall. _

'Well, I know where he is now…the question is, why didn't Starscream just talk with him in the medbay? Oh well, KO can handle himself…' _Breakdown thought. _

_The blue truck filled his time with meaningless tasks. A couple Vehicons came in with cuts and slight hemorrhaging. The only task left was to bring several crates of old parts down to the storage levels. They were currently just clogging up space in the medbay; when either Breakdown or Knock Out had more time, they would go through them, salvage what they could, and scrap the rest. Cleaning and updating supplies like this was important to keep everything in top-notch condition, something that Knock Out prided himself on._

_Walking down the hallway, Breakdown carried the crates. The twists and turns were almost dizzying, but eventually Breakdown came to the designated medical storage hall. Dropping the crates, Breakdown turned to leave, before he heard voices. Too low to make out words, but the tones sounded familiar._ 'Starscream and Knock Out? Why the Pit are they down here?'_Turning around the corner, Breakdown quickly ducked down behind some crates, to avoid from being seen. What he saw before he hid, however, would haunt him for the rest of his life-cycle. _His_ Knock Out, torn and bleeding on the ground, being violated by Starscream; it made his energon boil. _

_Knock Out began tossing his head as Starscream grew closer to his panel, before he made optic contact with his partner._

***END FLASHBACK***

"…and you know what happened from there," Breakdown softly concluded.

Knock Out turned to his mech-friend, as much as he was able to do so with his injuries. "…So, you aren't…d-disgusted w-with me?"

Crooning softly, Breakdown ran a hand over the medic's helm fin. "Of course not Knock Out; I would never doubt you."

Mewling at his touch, Knock Out finally made eye contact with Breakdown. He wanted to believe him so much, but after his past, he just felt like he couldn't. Then again, no one would have stuck with him for such long time, especially not after what he had just been through. Breakdown was truly a one-in-a-million mech; he was amazed that he had stayed with him. Although Breakdown didn't know the full story, he was proving himself to be as un-judgemental as they came. And that was a trait that Knock Out cherished more than Breakdown would ever realize.

"How bad was it?" Knock Out finally asked. The torn nervous circuitry made everything hurt more than it probably should have; just remembering the sensations sent phantom pain through his chassis. Breakdown straightened slightly, but kept his hand on the CMO's helm.

"You were bleeding out through your shoulder-struts, inner-elbows, and hips. Most of the joints in your arm were severed. I had to," a shuddering breath interrupted the mech before he continued, "I had to replace your throat tubing. Starscream had severely bruised it; luckily, your vocalizer wasn't damaged, so you still sound the way you always have."

Knock Out shuddered at the note of raw pain that was evident in his partners voice. He had caused him so much suffering, and yet he was still here.

"And I always will be," Breakdown said. Confused, Knock Out looked up at his partner, pain momentarily forgotten, at the sudden change in direction this conversation had taken. Slightly chuckling, Breakdown answered, "You were speaking aloud. And never think that I would keep you responsible for what has happened. It wasn't your fault."

Words couldn't describe the bitter-sweet relief that flooded the red medic. Breakdown said he believed in him, but his past dictated that everyone who got too close was a liar. Hating that he was even thinking of doubting Breakdown, Knock Out batted away the idea, to no avail. Not to mention that he was still in pain, and Starscream may have still been out there.

Unconsciously, Knock Out's right servo twitched, sending sharp tendrils of pain through his arm. Taking the subconscious hint, Breakdown wove his fingers through the medics, gently squeezing. Yes, Knock Out had alot of slag falling on him, and yes, every circuit of his body felt as if it had been jabbed with his own electric prod; and yet, all he needed at the moment was the sensation of his partners hand in his own, the steady beeping of the machinery in the back ground assuring both occupants that Knock Out would be just fine.

* * *

><p>Several solar cycles passed and Knock Out's recovery went as well as could be expected. On the outside, interacting with the Vehicons, Soundwave, and the re-instated Megatron, Knock Out was his usual arrogant self. If Breakdown hadn't seen the damage first hand, nor held him as he fought off panic attacks and nightmares nearly-every night, he wouldn't have suspected any foul play.<p>

Knock Out allowed touch above the waist, from the base of his neck, anywhere down to his abdominal plating. His shoulders were now fully repaired, but the emotional damage that went with that region, as well as his inner-elbows and hips, kept him from allowing touch there. Even light pressure sent Knock Out spinning mentally and emotionally, from the memories of his attack. Starscream had been kept busy, running errands for Megatron and trying to make up for taking over while he was incapacitated, so the seeker was not in Knock Out's daily schedule. Which was great for now; but who knew how he was going to react to seeing his attacker again?

But one thing that Knock Out wouldn't allow, was to be kissed. Breakdown wasn't entirely sure why. The joints, he could understand; they had literally been ripped apart. But kissing? That was sacred to them, almost holy between them. It kept them grounded when nothing else did. And Knock Out was taking that away. Was this how he felt when Breakdown started to pull away? Lost and abandoned? Breakdown understood that suffering through events like this took time and patience, and Breakdown had plenty of the latter (the former was never a guarantee; one must not forget that they were at war), but it would help if Knock Out would _talk_ about his problems.

Breakdown had an idea, but he would need Knock Out's trust to do so; he just hoped that his medic wouldn't pull away from him. This idea hit him when he was laying on his berth; Knock Out was sitting by the desk in their quarters, tapping away at a datapad. Since the incident was kept under wraps, the medic had to continue work as normal. Even if it involved working during his time off, since his injuries hindered his normal working pace. Rolling onto his side, Breakdown observed him, watching for any signs of discomfort.

After continuing this for about 5 joors, Breakdown finally stood up and meandered over to Knock Out's station. Leaning down so he was optic to optic with the sports car, offering a hand, he asked, "Can you come here for a second? I need help with something..."

A little startled at his partner's forwardness, Knock Out stood, taking the offered hand, and asked "Sure. What do you need?" Knock Out had been a little apprehensive with answering direct questions, or going to an unnamed destination with mech's that he didn't necessarily trust. This made taking orders from Megatron a little bit harder than usual, but this time it wasn't just the vain mech's pride keeping him from obeying.

Taking a deep breath, Breakdown faced him, "Do you trust me?" Ah. The loaded question. A hesitant nod was his answer, and he gently steered Knock Out to their final destination: the washracks.

* * *

><p>Every officer on board the <em>Nemisis<em> had a private washrack in their quarters. Since Knock Out was CMO, he qualified. And so did Breakdown, by association. Turning on the solvent, Breakdown adjusted the temperature before facing Knock Out. He stood, stock still, not wanting to get too close, lest he get pulled under against his will. Breakdown watched his reaction, before re-stating his earlier question, "Do you trust me?"

Knock Out briefly imitated a young organic's animated T.V. show, with how his helm whipped back and forth between Breakdown and the solvent pouring out of the washracks.

"Nothing funny I promise. It'll be just us, okay?" Breakdown encouraged, extending a hand. He wouldn't push Knock Out to do anything against his will, but he needed Knock Out to acknowledge that he would never _intentionally_ hurt him. The whole world seemed to slow down on it's axis as Knock Out slowly reached a hand forward, and placed it into his lover's. Not breaking optic contact, Breakdown led them backward into the stall.

He pulled Knock Out's servo under the spray, nothing more, just his servo. Breakdown lovingly massaged the medic's servo. The palm, the long, elegant digits, and the wrist joints; not a single place went untouched. The blue truck felt the tension begin to bleed out of his partner's frame, and cautiously began to massage up his forearm. Before he reached the elbow joint, Breakdown doubled-back down the forearm, keeping the massage light. The same pattern followed on Knock Out's other arm, and the duo spent the next 10 joors relishing in the fragile, trusting silence. His abdominal plating, lower and upper back, and, briefly, thighs were massaged by Breakdown, letting the relaxing feeling of the warm solvent and his lovers fingers calm him down.

Once Knock Out had relaxed, Breakdown dared to make optic contact. Knock Out's porcelain facial plates were relaxed for the first time in solar-cycles, but his optics told another story. Confusion and suspicion swirled around, but there was almost a desperate glint to the ruby iris'. Gently, Breakdown cradled his partner's jawline in his servos, and gazed into his optics. The steam from the shower clung to their plating, creating condensation on their bodies. Cautiously, Breakdown dipped his helm lower, going in for a kiss, only to be met with air. Knock Out had twisted away from him as much as his servos would allow, his optics screwed shut in shame.

"...Did something else happen that I wasn't aware of, Knock Out?" questioned Breakdown, letting his partners face go. Knock Out took two steps away from him, before turning around and mumbling his response. "I didn't catch that..." Breakdown supplied, gently from behind him.

The red mech took a deep breath before facing his partner. He balked at how close Breakdown had gotten, but he pulled forward. Whispering in Breakdown's audios, he finally told his secret. "It's stupid, but...I feel..._tainted_ by him. Like I'll always be just his _sick toy!_" Knock Out jerked away, as if the memory had caused him to be physically struck. A weakened whisper floated to the blue mech's audios as he shut off the solvent, "I don't deserve you."

Turning around, Breakdown threw caution the wind. He grabbed _his _medic's face, and he kissed _his_ medic with all the passion that he felt for _him_ and _him alone._ At first, it was roughly, but passionately, frenzied. Only at the beginning, however. Soon, the fiery maelstrom rushing through Breakdown's fuel lines calmed down considerably, as did the kiss. Cooling down into a gentle, loving embrace, the kiss suddenly went from an one-sided, forceful assertion of feelings, to a two-way, proclamation of adoration. Knock Out's servos framed Breakdown's helm after a moment, before he threw his arms around his neck, kissing him with all the force of before. Breakdown's glossa ran along Knock Out's lower lipplate, and gasping he opened his mouth. Moaning low in his throat at the show of trust and love from his partner, Breakdown slid his glossa into Knock Out's mouth.

The taste was like nothing he had ever had before in his life. The seraphic taste, blended with sweetening taste of energon was both familiar and newly potent. Having sampled Knock Out's unique flavor before, Breakdown _thought_ he knew what to expect. _Thought_ being the key word. The small doses from Knock Out's glossa paled in comparison to tasting directly from the source. Knock Out nicked his sharp dentas down on Breakdown's lower lip, drawing energon. He then pressed his glossa against the wound, drawing a whine from the larger mech. But words still needed to be said; the story was incomplete in a few places. With no small amount of self control, Breakdown broke the kiss.

And almost promptly dove right back in.

Dazed red optics gazed back at him, mouth slightly agape, vents heaving. The condensation dripped off the medic's frame, causing steam to emit from his chassis. Overall, the mech was walking temptation.

Not that Breakdown was any better off. His vents were working double time, trying to cool down his chassis, the steam enveloping them in a secluded world. Reluctant to shatter the moment, Breakdown leaned back in towards his partner, mouthing down his neck column, drawing a mewl from Knock Out, before whispering in his audio, "Don't ever say that again. You deserve the best Knock Out, and that's what I'm trying to give you." Knock Out looked at him almost regretfully, before Breakdown quickly whispered, "You still taste like you; nothing and no one else. Just you." Breakdown didn't know if his partner even recognized the words, but Knock Out's next actions proved that _something_ got through.

Knock Out leaned into his embrace, into a full hug; not a single part of them wasn't touching. Thighs, abs, chest, and shoulders aligned as best they could with the size difference. Wrapping his arms back around Breakdown's neck, Knock Out snuggled closer, tucking his helm under his lovers chin. They stayed like that, wrapped in each other's embrace, even from the transition from the washracks to their main quarters. Breakdown carried his partner "bridal style" (as the organics would call it), keeping his partner's helm resting on his chest.

As the sun set on the planet that they were orbiting, the pale light turning the normally ruby red medic into a soft-blue outlined specter on the berth. Breakdown stayed awake however. Watching over his recharging lover, the blue truck caressed Knock Out's cheek struts, before leaning down and kissing his helm fin. Tomorrow he needed to be as open and trusting as Knock Out had been in the washracks today. He was going to tell him about his past. The last thing he saw before he went to recharge was his lover curling up into his embrace, faintly smiling in his dreams.

* * *

><p>TA-DA! Behold! The weirdest fluff I have ever written... 0.o...yeah..that's just weird. Please, please review! If you see any mistakes, don't hesitate to point them out!<p>

Also, plz, PLZ, give me any and all ideas that you have for the upcoming chapters. Something that you want me to put in, something that you would like to see explained; anything! I'm open!

Until next time!

3 Huntress


	12. New Ground

B'AAAAWWWWW! MY POOORRRRR BBY BREAKDOWN! WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE HIM!

I just...and...he...she...BITCH! *gross sobbing*

I just don't get it...Breakdown was such an adorable 'Con! Why! *le sigh* Anyways, this chapter is again in KO's POV, and here is a normal, _finally_, wake up scene between the two lovers! Aww...

Breakdown finally tells KO about that past of his, and we get to see KO's reaction...along with some surprise sexy times! (Keep ur pants on guys, it's not up to _that_ level...yet. XD)

There's not that much sticky stuff, only a brief mention, but if, for some _God forsaken_ _reason_ you don't wanna witness sexy times between these two, then you can stop reading after the first divider and continue after the second.

Again, I just don't know **_why_** someone would wanna miss this, but if you want to, there it is...

* * *

><p>Onlining his optics, Knock Out was surprised to see light filtering through the window in his shared quarters with Breakdown. <em>I slept through the night? That's a first...<em> Recharge had been sporadic for the poor sports car. Ever since Starscream's attack, nightmares haunted the medic, often waking him from recharge in the early hours of morning. Even after the shaking had subsided and all was quiet, recharge evaded him.

Sighing happily, the ruby red sports car burrowed back down against his lover. The weight of Breakdown's servo across his waist, coupled with the steady in-vents and ex-vents of his partner served as soothing reminders that he was safe. Languidly stretching, Knock Out felt his engine begin to quietly purr, as he rolled over to be closer to his Breakdown.

Wriggling his helm into the juncture of Breakdown's neck and shoulder, Knock Out breathed in the heady scent of his lover. Making sure that Breakdown was still in recharge, Knock Out began raining light kisses across the joint. He couldn't help it. Something about his partner just made him feel safe, and dare he say it, _loved. _Slowly pulling away, Knock Out studied his partners face.

Without the stress of the day wearing down on him, Breakdown looked surprisingly..._innocent_. Clicking low in his throat, Knock Out thought about what their life could have been like if the war had never happened. _But if the war never happened, would I have ever stopped being Hubris? Would I even have had the motivation to do so?_ His inner ramblings were cut short when Breakdown shifted in his recharge. Stiffening immediately, Knock Out softly smiled as Breakdown mumbled something in his sleep before his grip tightened on his medic as he fell deeper into recharge.

Relaxation washed over Knock Out as Breakdown fell back asleep. He knew that Breakdown hadn't been sleeping that well in the past few nights. He wanted his lover to catch up on sleep as much as possible. Guilt flooded his systems, unbidden, but well deserved in his mind, as the medic thought over the reasons behind his lover's lack of sleep.

_It's all because of me. First, I'm not good enough to even fight off two Autobot intruders, then the "Starscream" thing, and then _I _can't sleep so then _he _can't sleep...I'm such a burden. _

Almost subconsciously picking up on his lover's distress, Breakdown pulled Knock Out even closer to him in his recharge, pinning him to his chassis. Taking a deep breath of Knock Out's scent, the blue truck finally woke up. Onlining his beautiful golden optic, Breakdown whispered, "Good morning," his ex-vents washing over Knock Out's elfish audios. Smiling in return, the cherry red medic finished his earlier thought with, _but he's still here. And that's all that matters. _

Stretching upwards, Knock Out slowly pressed a kiss to Breakdown's mouth. It was warm, lazy, and trusting; fitting the atmosphere between the two lovers perfectly. Pulling away, Knock Out replied, "Good morning to you, too," before nuzzling in closer to the space between Breakdown's shoulder and neck.

A small chuckle reverberated under his helm before Breakdown's baritone voice spoke, "A bit of a cuddler in the morning, aren't you?"

"When I've gotten enough recharge, yes," punctuated by a kiss to Breakdown's jaw.

"Hmmm...so what do you want to do today?"

"In all honesty, I don't really want to do anything...I wanna stay here, with you," he finished in a small voice. He hoped that didn't sound too whiny. While Breakdown may not have pushed him away just yet, that didn't mean that he couldn't do so later. But before his self-loathing could rouse the demons, Breakdown smiled and softly whispered, "And I you. But first I want to tell you something. A story. You showed me so much trust last night, and I want to do the same to you. So, I want to tell you something that happened to me. It's actually what led me to become part of the Decepticons. Do you want to hear it?"

Knock Out froze. Was Breakdown pressuring him to hear Knock Out's own past?

_**Of course he is! All he wants is your information, so he can decide when to throw you away. Are you even worth getting a quick frag from? Or should he dump you at the first chance he gets? **  
><em>

_But he did say that he wanted to just return the trust that I gave him...he at least acknowledges how hard it was for me to trust him._

_**Remember the last time that you didn't listen to us? You just never learn do you...**  
><em>

Knock Out mentally flinched. _Breakdown is different from the others...that much I'm sure about. _

Taking a deep breath, Knock Out looked Breakdown dead in the optics and replied, "Yes, I want to hear it."

Rolling over onto his back, but making sure to keep an arm around the medic, Breakdown began.

"Okay. My story begins when I was a youngling. I was constantly overshadowed by my older brother, and was basically forced to fend for myself. It was just the two of us, you know, as far as sparklings go. My creator and carrier didn't care about me whatsoever; I was basically on my own. I raised myself, and taught myself everything that I know. All my creator's did was allow me to recharge under their roof at night; other than that, it was like I didn't exist."

"Wait, I didn't know that you had a brother...or that you were the youngest," Knock Out interrupted. Glancing down at his lover, Breakdown replied, "Yeah. I'm the baby of the family, and I just can't seem to beat him." Breakdown's facial plates flushed an even deeper red than they already were.

"You said can't...you mean, he's still out there? Alive?" Knock Out asked, incredulous that he had never seen his partner's apparent connection to another mech in the war.

"Yeah...and you know him, too. It's...Bulkhead. He's my big brother," Breakdown explained, tapering off at the end so it was nothing more than a dull murmur. But Knock Out heard the words all the same.

Looking up at his lover, Knock Out was slightly confused as to why Breakdown seemed so embarrassed. _Well, it must be embarrassing to be related to your worst enemy. And be younger than them at that. But this is definitely more than some sibling rivalry. Makes me wonder what they did that tore them apart. _Finally, he spoke.

"Really? Wow...that explains a lot. But, you're rivalry seems to go beyond that..."

"I'm getting to that. So, Bulkhead and I were always rivals. One day, I was scouted by the Wreckers. I finally think that I'm gonna get some kind of encouragement from my creators," Breakdown continued. Knock Out felt his lover tense below his servos, hidden anger rushing through the bigger mech. Before Knock Out could ask what had happened, Breakdown continued with a humorless laugh.

"I got nothing. Not even a nod. They just trashed my job offer, and continued pretending that I didn't exist. And I guess it wouldn't have hurt so much had Bulkhead not gotten accepted as well; and my creators congratulated him on it. I couldn't take it anymore. Stellar-cycles and stellar-cycles of being kicked to the side, and being told that I wasn't good enough," _I know how you feel, _Knock Out thought. "So I finally snapped."

Knock Out sat up. Placing a servo on his partner's chestplates, Knock Out turned to look down at his partners single optic, concern etched into his faceplates. The medic studied his partners expression, biting his lip at the anguish that clouded Breakdown's optic. Cooing softly, Knock Out used his other servo to cradle the bigger mech's helm, before asking, "What did you do?"

Breakdown leaned into Knock Out's touch before looking away, almost ashamed. Knock Out had a feeling he knew where this was going, but he wanted Breakdown to tell the story. Grabbing a hold of Breakdown's chin and forcing him to look back up at him, Knock Out quietly begged, "Please?"

The golden optic resignedly met his gaze, before Breakdown sighed. Whispering, so low that Knock Out had to lean forward to catch the wavering words, Breakdown admitted, "I killed them."

Ruby red optics widened in shock as the medic felt a servo grasping his lower arm, pulling his servo away from Breakdown's face. Before Knock Out could react, Breakdown hastily added, "I didn't mean to! I just...my creator and I were home alone, and Bulkhead had just gotten accepted into the Wreckers, and I was just so pissed...I didn't think, I just acted. Then my carrier came home, 'cause she felt the pain through their bond. I killed her too...I just wanted to show them that I was stronger than they thought, that they should have respected me as well...I didn't-"

Placing a finger on Breakdown's mouth, Knock Out murmured, "I'm not judging you. The past is the past. It's not like we haven't scrapped plenty of Autobot's in our time, but now your rivalry with Bulkhead seems to make more sense." Knock Out traced his servo around Breakdown's wrist, lightly spreading his longer, thinner digits under the protective armor there. Breakdown's frame relaxed under his touch, before Knock Out continued, "But something tells me that your story doesn't end there. Do you want to continue?"

"You really aren't judging me? Not disgusted at all?" Breakdown questioned under his lover's fingers. Fear of rejection radiated from his larger counterparts frame, and Knock Out could understand why he seemed so upset over his past deeds. Breakdown wasn't upset over his actions, but over whether his actions would scare Knock Out away. Smirking mentally, Knock Out wondered what Breakdown's reaction would be to _his_ past actions.

Emphatically shaking his helm, Knock Out assured Breakdown that he wasn't going to judge. His fingers under Breakdown's wrist armor found a transformation seam. Tracing over the joint, Knock Out reveled in the low moan it drew from his lover, before leaning down and kissing his partner, tracing his glossa over Breakdown's lower lip. Whimpering slightly, Breakdown pulled back enough to continue his story.

"Bulkhead walked in after their death. He saw me, and called the Enforcers. They hauled me away, and I spent the next five solar cycles in the stockades. Then Megatron took over that Neutral territory, and offered me to join. At first, I didn't know what happened to Bulkhead; I had just assumed he died in one of the Decepticon raids. That is, until he attacked me during one of my first missions for Megatron. Knowing that he was on the other side kept me motivated to stay here, for a while anyways."

Averting his gaze, Knock Out asked, "What changed?" He hoped that it wasn't what he thought it was. While he and Breakdown had joined the Decepticon's at roughly the same time, it wasn't until Knock Out got transferred to Megatron's unit, by virtue of his medical knowledge, that he met the blue front liner. He wanted to know that it wasn't because Breakdown met him. That Breakdown didn't feel obligated to help him and to stay around for his benefit. Knock Out appreciated that Breakdown wanted to stick around him that much, but he didn't want him to have done all of this out of pity. He didn't think he could handle it if Breakdown said that.

Knock Out withdrew his fingers from Breakdown's armor, as, unconsciously, his engine let out a little hiccuping stall, interrupting the purring from before.

_Don't blame me. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry I keep fragging things up for you..._

Breakdown's engine answered for him, since Breakdown himself was still in shock over what his lover was implying. A sharp, powerful growl followed by an appeasing rev cut off Knock Out's apologies.

_Not. Your. Fault. I'm not holding you accountable for something that you weren't even there for! _

"I met you. And I was captivated from day one. The way you moved, your attitude, your idiosyncrasies that make you, _you_." Knock Out felt his lover's servo gently grab his chin, steering his gaze back to Breakdown's face. Breakdown's one functioning optic gazed intently into the blood red iris', as he whispered, "Just being able to work alongside you; it gave me something to stay here for, aside from a hatred of the other side. Everything did change when I met you, but it was for the better."

Slowly, the self-pity that Knock Out had been wallowing in receded, and his spark felt lighter for the first time in vorns. "You...you really mean that?" While Knock Out's facade for the rest of the _Nemesis_ oozed self-confidence, when in private the illusion was shattered. To finally have his spark lighten, even for a millisecond, Knock Out was grateful. For once, he had the will to get better, instead of suffering in silence. But there were still doubts.

Knock Out's engine whined, desperate for confirmation.

_Tell me that I'm worth it. Tell me that you'll stay. Please, please...I don't want to be alone anymore. _

Another growl from Breakdowns engine vibrated underneath the slighter medic, Knock Out's only warning before he was flipped over by his larger partner. Lips, ghosting on his neck column, the vibrations from his partners engine soothing him as the pleasurable attack continued. Breakdown's arm wrapped around the medic, so that his servo was cradling the back of Knock Out's helm. Knock Out felt kisses warming his neck, his jawline, and finally his lips.

This was probably the most different kiss out of all the ones that he had shared with is partner. Worshipful, gentle, yet demanding something from Knock Out, something that Knock Out wasn't sure he was ready to give. _Love._ Knock Out felt Breakdown pulling away so their lips just brushed, before he heard the words that both terrified him and made his spark flutter erratically in his chamber.

"I love you, Knock Out. I love you, I love you, I love you. I love you not only for you, but for what I am when I'm with you. I love you. You don't have to say it back, but I needed to say it. Even if you walked away, I would still love you." Knock Out felt a gentle massage on his right hip, right below the weldings from Starscream's attack.

Whimpering at the memories, Knock Out twitched away from his touch, before the medic felt his lover's servo cover the damage. Speaking low in Knock Out's audio, Breakdown murmured, "You're not what you've done; you're what you've overcome. While you may have gone through some real scrap," Breakdown traced the markings on Knock Out's hips for emphasis, "You need to know that I'll always be here to fix it."

Knock Out felt immense warmth rush through him at the words. The light that he felt was enough for the time being to burn away some of the demons. The constant whisperings of not being good enough, of not being wanted, caught flame in the blinding truth that Breakdown had shone upon him. Granted, the others still existed, but they shrank away, not wanting to be destroyed just yet.

Knock Out, on the other hand, wrapped his legs around Breakdown's waist before continuing the kiss. Dragging his fingers up and down Breakdown's sides wrought shivers from his larger lover, before he settled on holding on to his lover's shoulders. He knew that he was running hot; it was no surprise that Breakdown was too. But he just wanted to be closer to Breakdown, to prove to himself and his lover that he had heard and accepted the words that the larger mech had told him earlier. The servo around his hip languidly soothed the metal there, as the servo on his helm gently traced the two outer most of the trident-like points. Holding each other close, the two lovers continued in their embrace until Knock Out finally pulled away for air.

Looking up into Breakdown's golden optic, Knock Out reveled in the love that he saw there. Pure adoration shone down upon him, not just lust for his body, but for his _spark_ as well. The racer now knew that his feelings were returned, but he himself wouldn't be able to tell Breakdown about them until Breakdown knew of his past.

Yet the demons were still free. The light may have worked for some, but the demons still had one more trump card; the altered subroutine. Knock Out was helpless as the code activated, and could only experience a brief moment of internal horror before his lips were on Breakdown's yet again.

* * *

><p>Knock Out felt as if he was having an out of body experience. He could experience the sensations, but he was helpless to do anything but watch his servos frame Breakdown's helm, his legs tighten around his lover's waist and gently grind their pelvic plating together. Pulling away from Breakdown's embrace, Knock Out gave his lover a sultry smirk before crooking a finger to beckon him down to the berth again. Moaning as his lover complied, Knock Out reached a servo up to stroke the "cat ears" adorning his lover's helm. A husky whimper from Breakdown brought a surprising revelation; apparently, they were sensitive.<p>

Armed with new knowledge, Knock Out dragged his partners helm down to his level to suck on one. From the desperate jerk of Breakdown's hips, Knock Out guessed that he was doing _something_ right. Reaching up with his other servo, Knock Out began fondling Breakdown's rims on his shoulders as the bigger mech mouthed down Knock Out's neck stripes. Tossing his head back, the cherry red medic gave his lover more room to work with.

On the inside though, Knock Out was surprised. By now, most mechs he had been with would have skipped all of this and gone straight to the interfacing. Their idea of "foreplay" was forcing Knock Out to give them oral, always on their spike. No client of his wanted to be dominated by a mere pleasure-bot.

Breakdown, on the other servo, was taking his time, savoring the medic's body. And boy, did he know what to do! Though hardly gentle in any other aspect of his life, Breakdown worshiped the medic below him, rubbing, biting, kissing every inch of the delicious frame presented to him.

_Mmmmhhhmmmm_..._he feels so good!_ Knock Out thought. But the first time he wanted to do this, he wanted to be fully cognitive, and be able to fully appreciate what he was feeling. Trying to fight the subroutine turned out to be the wrong thing to do, however. The demons lashed out at him mentally, keeping him out of control.

**_This is what you wanted...now take it. _**They crooned, deceptively gentle as they held him hostage in his own mind.

Before Knock Out could retaliate, Breakdown nipped on his helm-fin, and all thoughts went blank except for mind. Numbing. Pleasure. Flashbacks from when Breakdown carried him down the hall, scratched finish and all, and stroked his helm fin flew to the front of his mind. Desperately bucking against Breakdown, the medic let out a loud gasp/moan that reverberated throughout their quarters.

Mewling, Knock Out whimpered, "d-Do that again...hhnnnn..." Given that he was so revved up to begin with, it was no surprise that with a few more swipes of Breakdown's glossa, Knock Out was close to the edge. From the tension in his partners frame, he could tell Breakdown was as well.

Internally, Knock Out was at a loss for what to do. Should he let it happen, or try to fight the programming? _But ohh...he feels so good...gentle, nice...warm, caring...hhhnnn...I don't want to fight something so _good_...how...how can I even_ try _to fight when_..._mmmmhhmmmm_

Out loud, Knock Out was in no better shape. "Aaahhhnn...I'm close...uuuhhnnn..I'm so close...want..want you..."

"Love,...A-are you sure?" his lover questioned. That concern, coupled with Breakdown's husky timbre vibrating so close to his audio receptors pushed the doctor right over the edge. His engine gave almost a painful rev, and he threw his helm back, crying out his partners name.

"BREAKDOOOOOOWNNN!" he cried, bucking wildly against his lover's plating.

The vibrations from his lovers engine as he reached his climax triggered Breakdown's own overload. "KNOCK OOOUUT!" he yelled, clutching the medic closer to his chassis, before biting down on Knock Out's elfish audio receptor. The last thing Knock Out remembered was his transfluid and lubricant seeping out from behind his still closed panel, and the sensation of being bitten before he passed out.

* * *

><p>(AN: I was gonna end it here, but decided to be not such a troll. XD)

A soothing sensation, warm and wet, laved over his tender audio tip. Knock Out leaned into the feeling, enjoying the hazy afterglow. Unfortunately, everything that had happened rushed back to him in a whirlwind of pleasure, heat, and sound. Snapping open his optics, Knock Out frantically sat up, tearing his audio away from the pleasurable sensation. Knock Out turned away from Breakdown and curled into a ball on his side of the berth. Hugging his knees to himself, the medic hid his flushed face in shame.

_Why did I do that? Primus, I'm such a-_

**_Whore? Why, yes dear doctor. Look who gets it!_**

_But...it did feel good..._

_**You just enjoy being used, don't you? That's all you deserv-**_

_No! Did any of the other mechs put me first? Did any of them even let me overload? Did any of them even care to make sure they didn't hurt me? Or if they did, try to fix it? NO! Breakdown is different!_

**_FOR NOW! ...hehe...just remember the last time you didn't listen to us...we were designed to not hurt you, but to HELP you...turning away your only support? Aren't we just full stupid decisions today?_**

Despair and loneliness swallowed him in a black void, chasing away all remains of the sweet pleasure that the medic had been enjoying in the moments prior. Knock Out whimpered, shaking violently against the force of the demons attack. Energon rushed through his audios, his whole body flushing in shame. Unbeknownst to him, Breakdown had begun slowly sidling up to his partner. Only the sensation of arms being lightly wrapping around his chassis shocked him out of his thoughts. Stiffening in surprise, Knock Out waited for Breakdown to speak. Yet, Breakdown seemed content to sit in silence. Risking a glance at Breakdown's face, Knock Out instantly felt guilty. Breakdown watched him with the most sparkbreaking look that he could muster, but at the same time desperate. As if this would be the last time he would see his partner. Even his touches were soft, memorizing the feel of the medic in his arms.

Softly clicking his vocalizer, Knock Out felt a gentle nudge from Breakdown, before he quietly asked, "Why?"

"Why what?" Knock Out dejectedly murmured.

"Why do you still pull away from me?" came the similarly quiet reply. "I thought...after...ya know...we..." Breakdown trailed off. Knock Out keened in his guilt, not wanting Breakdown, nor himself, to get hurt. If he lashed out at Breakdown, then he would do nothing but hurt both Breakdown's feelings and his own; let's be honest here, it was an _amazing_ overload. No one in a long time had made his body sing with pleasure like that, not to mention put him first! But if he stayed silent, he would just inevitably wallow in self-pity, shutting Breakdown out once again.

Sighing, Knock Out whispered, "It's not you; it's me. I feel so bad putting you through all this. You open up to me, tell me your past, and give me one of the most processor blowing overloads in my entire life-cycle, and all I do in return is continue to shut you out."

Gentle soothing circles massaged his chassis as Breakdown's servo drifted down to the small of his back. "What do you need me to do?"

_I need you to save me. Save yourself. Run as far away from here as possible. Stay here close to me. Tell me you'll never leave. Don't lie. Treat me as an equal. Protect me with your life. Stay. Don't go. Stay. _The thoughts spun around in Knock Out's CPU, each fighting for the right to be spoken. Yet all that came out was, "Hold me and tell me that it's going to be okay. Please. It may not make sense now, but I promise you it will soon. Just, for now, hold me."

Silently, Knock Out felt himself being lifted up and into Breakdown's lap. Uncurling a little bit from his protective ball, Knock Out leaned against his lover's chest. Sarcastically smirking to himself, Knock Out added something to his previous demand.

"And could you...keep doing...what ever it was that you were doing to my audio before? It felt really good..." A deep vibration from Breakdown's chuckle buzzed against his armor, before warm, soothing kisses were placed back on the tender audio. Lightly licking between kisses, Breakdown held his medic tighter to his chest as said medic purred in fragile contentment at the loving promises whispered in his audio.

* * *

><p>*=* what did I just write? I honestly have no clue...BUT THERE WERE SEXY TIMES! YAY!<p>

R&R guys! OH! Who watched the latest episode of TFP? _Nemesis Prime_ creeped me the hell out! It had all the settings of a horror movie, and it just...between Breakdown's tragic death in the last one, and then Project Chimera actually coming to completion, I just sat there like "WTF is going on!"

Although, fav part has gotta be when Nemesis is telling Bee to watch out for his doppelganger and then Bee answers in his adorable little beeps and clicks, and then Nemesis is like "Umm...excuse me? What?" And bee's all, "GOTCHA BITCH!"

And what are they going to do to BD? Hook Silas into his body? And since the next episode has Megatron being nearly assasinated twice (in the description on Wikipedia), one can only assume that the Breakdown-Silas-Frakenstein creation thing is going to be making an appearance...

You know, this show used to be lighter, more fun. Ever since Spider-Bitch came on the show, things got _really,_ _really, _dark. Like, seriously.

**ALSO, IN RELATION TO THIS FIC ITSELF:** While I don't wanna give too much away, there are two things that I can tell my readers.

1) I don't plan on having Breakdown die. Like, at all. That was just unfair, and it wasn't even like his death was that great! He was killed by an ex-comrade in arms. It wasn't even his arch-nemesis! Like, if it was Bulkhead, yeah i would be sad, but at the same time it was understandable. He is a 'Con after all...even though I like 'Cons more...

2) After about episode _Metal Attraction_ I'm going to start veering off into a slight AU. I'm still going to use major events that are canon [ex. Starscream leaving, energon mines being found, major battles] to keep it grounded to the series, because in the last, like, 3 maybe 4 chapters, these guys have been sitting around, like it's a reality T.V. show and they are between challenges.

this is not a reality T.V. show. This is a horrific love story about an abused, sexy, sadistic sports car and his equally abused, but far more understanding partner as they try to overcome his messed up past while staying alive since they are at war. So yes, reality T.V, but slightly more cool.

Anyways, late rant aside, hope you enjoyed the chapter! R&R!

3 Huntress

P.S. There is a poll on my profile talking about future one-shots. They are just bunnies that have been hopping around, and they want to be written (but only if they'll be read!) Go and check them out! If you have any ideas for a one-shot that you wanna see from me in the future, PM me and lemme know!


	13. Deadly Attraction

WOAH! She updated? The world must be ending!

*is embarrassed* Soooooo unbelievably sorry for the delay, but my muse hasn't been cooperating lately. Hopefully she's here to stay now...

Here, I go into the events of episode "Metal Attraction" and beware! my first fight scene follows! Not all of them will be like this, fade in and fade out thing, but I only tweaked certain aspects of the fight, & I didn't feel the need to re-write the whole script.

HERE MARKS THE BEGINNING OF THE AU PORTION OF THIS FANFIC! As you will see during the chapter, I changed a pretty pivotal point in the story...muwahahaha!

Anyways, hope you like it! It's kinda on the short side, but I experimented around, trying to keep them in character. In the upcoming chapters, the plot shall thicken...and that's all I can say right now...XD don't wanna give too much away...

Please tell me that I wasn't the only one who was screaming at the T.V. when Knock Out got beaten by the sweeper train? Twice? Ever since "Crossfire", that poor mech's luck really hasn't been on his side...poor guy.

Just a quick note:

::blah:: = comm. talk

Some fluffy snuggles time, a showering Breakdown, and an elusive rouge. All await below the divider! Check it out!

* * *

><p>Sitting in the quiet aftermath, Breakdown continued to gently soothe his medic's audio tip. He hadn't meant to bite down so hard, but the pleasure rushing through his chassis had been too much; unless he wanted the whole <em>Nemesis<em> to know what they were doing, it was wise to not scream too loud.

_Why did I tell him that I love him? I mean...I know that I do, but there is almost no chance of him loving me back...then again, maybe he just needs to _be_ loved, in order _to_ love?_ Softly humming at the last thought, Breakdown finally pulled away from Knock Out.

"Knock Out...hey, Knoc-" Breakdown cut himself off as he realized that Knock Out had fallen into recharge. Watching him peacefully sleep was a far cry from normal nights. Calmly cycling air, Knock Out looked the picture of innocence. Laying him back down on the berth, Breakdown wondered what exactly made him admit to his true feelings. Yes, he wanted to show Knock Out that he loved him, that the medic was worthy of his love...and telling him thus probably helped that process along. For the first time, Breakdown saw a different kind of light in Knock Out's scarlet optics. He had seen blood-lust, pain, fear, helplessness, and, most recently, lust/love. But this was the first time that he had seen _hope and trust. _

The knowledge that he had given hope and trust to Knock Out...it seemed like a huge step had been taken. No longer would the CMO feel as if he had no one there. Breakdown would make sure of it.

Knock Out had accepted his past much easier than Breakdown had expected. Not that he expected any pity from the vain mech, but the fact that the medic didn't care that he had been the murderer of his own creators, not to mention was Bulkhead's _younger_ brother, made Breakdown fall in love with him even more so. He couldn't understand how someone could dare to hurt such a compassionate mech. Then again, given the vain mech's tendencies when he was around others that he didn't fully trust, Breakdown could see where some annoyance would arise.

But that just made him all the more endearing to Breakdown. Knock Out knew that he was beautiful on the outside, and he knew how to use it as well. Most mechs and femmes put him off as an incorrigible flirt, when in reality, he looked good for _himself_. No one else.

The low light in their quarters shone off the flawless finish, giving the red sports car a God-like glow. Keening low to himself, Breakdown kissed Knock Out's helm fin, making the medic sigh happily. The sensation of having his lips pressed against the red metal brought his mind back to a few breems earlier, and lust stirred briefly in his stomach. _No, stop, can't do that now...stop. _

Laying down next to his medic, Breakdown curled around him in a protective embrace, smiling faintly in his recharge.

* * *

><p>The next day, Breakdown was called out to look for another one of the Decepticon relics, the Polarity Gauntlet. Megatron didn't supply Breakdown with any information about the function of this particular relic, only the coordinates and an instruction to "Get in and out as soon as possible." Megatron had not quite forgiven him for being detained by flesh creatures, once he had returned to the <em>Nemesis<em>. As a result, Knock Out was forbidden from going with Breakdown on this mission, forcing Breakdown to take on any and all obstacles by himself. Normally this wasn't a problem for either of the dynamic duo; even partners needed a little breathing room every now and again. But that was before Breakdown was captured by M.E.C.H., and before Knock Out was assaulted.

"Do you really have to go?" Knock Out pled, ruby optics imploring his partner to stay. Breakdown didn't want to go and leave his partner unattended, but he knew that he needed to get back in Megatron's good graces, through whatever means necessary.

"I have to, Master's orders. I really don't want to leave you, but you should be fine. I'll be okay," the blue mech replied, anxiety already eating away at his spark. He hadn't seen Starscream since the incident, only a few fleeting glimpses in the halls. But it was enough to make him unnerved for his partner's safety anyways.

"The last time you left, you said the same thing! And then you come back looking," Knock Out paused to briefly collect his thoughts, before continuing in a whisper, "...looking so broken. You were pinned down, torn apart, and then thrown into battle! I c-could have lost you..." A treacherous tear slipped down the spark-breakingly beautiful faceplates.

Cooing softly, Breakdown wiped away the coolant on Knock Out's face, before leaning down to kiss him on the helm fin. "I love you, remember that Knock Out, okay? I'll always come back for you." Tipping his lover's helm upwards, Breakdown placed one last goodbye kiss on Knock Out's mouth, before announcing his leave.

"See you later," Knock Out replied, before turning around to get to work organizing his medbay.

* * *

><p>Scanning for any sign of the electromagnetic pulse, Breakdown wandered around in the desert wasteland Soundwave had dropped him off in. The heat made the landscape shimmer with illusions that weren't there, heating the metal that it touched. Breakdown was thankful that they weren't as sensitive as those fleshy humans; otherwise, he was sure the bottom of his pedes would have burned by now. As it was, he only felt a minor warmth on his plating, kind of nice, actually, compared to the vacuum-like coldness that clung to the <em>Nemesis<em>.

Finally, the scanner beeped, registering electromagnetic waves. "Jackpot," Breakdown murmured, before following the scanner's directions. Transforming one of his servos into a hammer, he shattered several small boulders before the ding of metal on metal was heard. Breakdown subspaced the scanner and picked up the relic.

_Perfect, now all I got to do is get this back to the _Nemesis_, and I'll be in the clear. Not to mention back to Knock Out sooner. I hope Starscream didn't try anything, cuz if he did I swear to Primus I'll-_

The sound of rocks falling down from the tops of their gargantuan neighbors alerted Breakdown to another's presence. Shifting his shoulder cannon out of safety-mode, he crouched, waiting for another sound. The whine of his cannon was the only noise.

_Must have been nothing…_Shrugging, the blue giant turned around, before the delicate pinprick-like pedsteps reached his audios. Whipping around, Breakdown caught sight of a femme. Mostly black and purple plating, with a few gold highlights on her crest, servos, and the end of her spider-like appendages; and a Decepticon insignia emblazoned right on her chest. She smirked, before jumping down from her perch and trying to kick the gauntlet out of Breakdown's servo. She landed a kick on his chest, knocking him off balance and pushing him to the ground, the gauntlet sliding away.

"For me? You shouldn't have..." she drawled as she picked up the relic, overconfidence dripping from her voice.

Getting to his feet, Breakdown growled, "I didn't." Backhanding her out of the way, he smirked in satisfaction before approaching her, the force of his attack kicking the gauntlet across the valley.

"I've heard rumors of a rouge 'Con," he drawled, advancing upon the fallen femme. "Maybe I should hog-tie you and haul you in…"

"Huh, the primitive type," she quipped back, before using her extra limbs to distract the blue mech from stopping her as she scrambled towards the gauntlet.

_Scrap,_ Breakdown thought as the femme took off. Transforming his servo into a hammer, he lunged at her, knocking her on the ground, preventing her from getting any farther. The gauntlet skidded away from the dueling Cybertronians, kicking up a small cloud of dust. Breakdown growled low in his throat as the dance continued, dodging kicks and trying to land blows, keeping the other away from the gauntlet.

Until, she disappeared. There was no movement, no tremors in the Earth. There was no sign of anything. Out of nowhere, the spindly appendages shot out of the ground and wrapped around his shoulders, dragging him down below the Earth's surface. Rocks covered his vision, and he suffocated in the darkness.

"You're gonna regret this!" he screamed, muffled by the rocks on top.

_Wait, is this it? I'm just gonna suffocate in here? And at the hands of another 'Con? NO SLAGGING WAY! _

Breakdown struggled against the suffocating bonds, his massive shoulder spikes clearing some of the debris. Taking one of his large silver hammers, he broke through the boulders on top of him, clearing the air for some sunlight. Massive servo's clenched around the rocks, breaking them down and climbing out of his tomb. Standing and shaking off the dust and rocks that clung to his frame, Breakdown couldn't help but think, _KO's soo gonna kill me for getting dirty…_

The femme and he continued their dance, though at a much more viscous tempo than before. She almost got to the gauntlet before he grabbed her spider-like legs, pulling her back away from the prize. Spinning her around, Breakdown attempted to launch the femme across the valley. Twisting around, the femme kicked him in the chest, knocking him back, before she advanced toward the gauntlet.

Laser fire reached Breakdown's audios, and fear swept through him. He had his servo's full of one rouge, he didn't need another! Should he return empty handed, Megatron would have his head! The panic swept through his spark, unwilling to let go. Unwilling, at least, until the femme smoothly said, "Arcee…and look! You've brought a new partner for me to snuff!"

_Frag…the Autobots. Well, it's better than another mangy rouge._ Getting up, he saw Arcee and the "new" partner. Rage boiled hot and fast through his fuel lines at the sight of his older brother. Snarling below his breath, he stood up, shaking off the dust for the second time.

"That, would be Bulkhead." The dizziness from being kicked around and beaten in the disorienting heat was getting to him, and his vision began to swim. Breakdown stumbled, before righting himself in the face of his brother. Weakness was pathetic; weakness got you killed.

"Oh, who asked you?" she bit back. _Fragging glitch. _And the dance continued, four partners now. Breakdown against Bulkhead, Arcee against Arachnid. Vicious snarls, glares, and blows echoed throughout the canyon, tiring all parties. The gauntlet was kicked around several times, going from owner to owner, before someone else knocked the prize away. After a viscous collision with his older brother, Breakdown heard the gauntlet dully strike a rock, not to far from his location.

Out of the corner of his optic, Breakdown saw the gauntlet begin to glow, making a low humming noise. He rushed to get it, swiping it up and using his momentum to smash against Bulkhead's chassis, throwing him into the Autobot femme, knocking them both into a rock face. Arachnid, severely tired after her skirmish with Arcee, merely hissed at Breakdown before tunneling into the ground. Cannon charged, Breakdown surveyed the area before transforming and driving away.

_All in all, good day. Got the gauntlet, beat up Bulkhead, and I'm still alive. Not bad._ Confident in his abilities, Breakdown continued to drive, before radioing in to the _Nemesis_.

::This is Breakdown, requesting ground-bridge to my coordinates.::

::Request: Acknowledged.::

A shimmer in the sunlight made Breakdown stop and transform. Webbing, similar to those what those Earth creatures spiders created, strung between two rocks, right across the road. Except this was on a much larger scale. Could it be…?

The familiar sound of dainty pedsteps echoed on the rocks above him. _Why does the planet have so many Primus-forsaken places for ambush?_ Breakdown thought, as he shot a missile at the location of the noise. An enraged snarl followed the explosion, before Arachnid lost her balance and fell into her own trap. Sauntering towards her, Breakdown took advantage of her momentary confinement.

"Really now? Really…you aren't getting this," tossing the gauntlet up in the air and catching it, "without a better, less cowardly fight." Her extra legs snapped the webbing, just as the ground bridge that Breakdown had asked for appeared.

Snarling, "You'll regret this, Muscles!" Arachnid dug a hole through the dirt, not even bothering to attack. _Muscles…what the frag?_ Shrugging at the stupid epithet, Breakdown walked through the ground bridge back home onto the _Nemesis_.

* * *

><p>"What a surprise…you have returned successful I presume?" Megatron questioned once Breakdown stepped through the bridge.<p>

"Yes, Master. Here is the gauntlet you asked for." Kneeling, Breakdown handed the gauntlet to his master. The silver warrior snatched the device out of the outstretched servo, before humming appreciatively while inspecting the Polarity Gauntlet.

"You are dismissed, Breakdown," Megatron rumbled, turning away from the frontliner.

"If I may, Master, there is something that I would like to inform you of." Breakdown stood from his position, though respectfully keeping his gaze lowered.

"What is it now, Breakdown?" The warlord replied, giving the impression that the blue frontliner had overstayed his welcome on the bridge.

"While I was searching for the gauntlet, I was ambushed by a rouge Decepticon. Her name was Arachnid, if I remember correctly. She was fighting to get the invention as well." Breakdown stopped talking when he saw his Master's frame freeze in place, before turning around rapidly, staring at the mech before him.

"Where was the last place you encountered the femme?" the silver mech sharply questioned.

"At the location of my pickup sight, my Liege. Before I could grab her she escaped, tunneling below ground." With Megatron, it was always best to give the information short, bluntly, and as honest as possible. To lie would be to sink to a level the same as Starscream, and, needless to say, just _thinking_ of the seeker made Breakdown's energon boil.

"...You are dismissed Breakdown." the warlord spoke, with an air of finality.

Turning around, the blue mech left the bridge, only to be grabbed and pulled aside. Panic briefly rushed through his lines before warm lips pressed against his own, servos framing his face. Pulling away, Breakdown onlined his optic and stared into his medic's crimson iris'. Smirking low to himself, Breakdown murmured, "I told you I would come back."

Rolling his optics, Knock Out placed one last kiss on Breakdown's lips before pulling him towards the washracks. "As much as I am happy to see you, you need to take a shower. You are covered in dirt, dust, and Primus-only-knows what else from whatever it was you were doing. Did you, like, roll in the dirt or something?" Adorably scrunching up his face, Knock Out gave Breakdown a critical once over before throwing him towards their quarters door.

"Well, something like that. Some rouge femme pulled me underground once, and I was knocked around a bit. Too bad you weren't there to be my landing pad," Breakdown joked, as he unlocked their quarters and headed into the washracks in the back of the room.

"Yes, it truly is horrible. My finish was crying from not getting it's daily workout," Knock Out sarcastically replied. "Wait...you said a rouge femme...Autobot?"

"Decepticon."

"Let me guess; spider-like, over confident, kinda creepy, domineering?" Knock Out questioned as he leaned against the door frame of the washracks. Relaxation radiated from his frame, and Breakdown was glad that Knock Out didn't feel as if he had to put up a front when around his lover.

Laughing a little, Breakdown stepped under the warm spray, the solvent cooling his warm frame. "You nailed her. Name was Arachnid. Wonder why she left in the first place?"

"Primus only knows that," the medic scoffed, watching his partner.

Grunting in response, Breakdown grabbed a sponge and began washing his chassis free of all dirt and grime, quietly moaning at the sensation. While he did enjoy a good fight, he enjoyed the relaxation that followed (most of the time).

Transforming his servo into his hammer, he rinsed off the weapon before following suit on the other one. Should something get caught in the gears and gaps in his armor while fighting, it could injure his transformation sequence if left unattended. Turning his back into the spray, Breakdown leaned his helm back, letting the solvent run down his cheek struts and neck. He was about to turn off the solvent, and call it a day, when a gentle touch on his waist stopped him. Surprised, he turned toward Knock Out.

Clicking low in his throat, Knock Out gave an almost non-verbal reply, before taking the sponge out of Breakdown's servo and turning the blue giant around. Soothing circles washed his shoulder spikes and back, before slim digits felt around transformation seams and pulled out even more ingrained dirt and dust.

_Mmmm...that feels nice..._The rhythmic strokes lulled Breakdown's senses, as the blue mech leaned slightly into the sensations.

"Hey, don't fall asleep on me big guy...I won't be able to carry you back to your berth if you do," the red medic reminded from behind him.

Sheepishly, Breakdown muttered, "Yeah, yeah...still feels good though..."

Finally the washing was complete. Knock Out turned off the solvent and placed the sponge on the built-in shelf before leading his partner to his berth. Thoroughly relaxed, Breakdown followed.

"So, what did you do while I was gone?" the blue mech questioned as he sat on the edge of his berth.

"Not...not much. Cleaned for a couple breems, slept a little; no one was around," Knock Out answered, knowing what his partner was trying to get at.

"So...he left you alone?" Breakdown murmured, just wanting confirmation from the mech standing before him.

"Yes," the red medic whispered as he climbed into his lover's lap, kissing him soundly. Gentle and reaffirming, the kiss continued on for a few breems before Breakdown broke away for air.

"Hmm...I love you Knock Out," Breakdown murmured before pulling the both of them onto his berth. Laying down, he left Knock Out the option of laying down with him, or leaving. The medic straddled the bigger mech's waist, splaying his fingers on the blue chest plating in front of him. Offlining his optic, Breakdown ran one servo up Knock Out's thigh, and back down, rubbing calmingly. The other snaked around to his lower back, tracing circles in the delicate metal.

Knock Out's sigh of pleasure was music to Breakdown's audios. They laid there, in the comfort of each others presence, for around ten breems before Knock Out stretched out on his lover's chassis, humming lowly.

Half-asleep, Breakdown murmured, "Whatcha doin'?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm snuggling with you..." punctuated by Knock Out wriggling to get more comfortable, ending up with his upper body still in Breakdown's embrace, while his lover half rested on the berth.

"Mmmm...I think I like this," Breakdown replied, holding his medic closer as they both fell into a much needed recharge.

* * *

><p>Aren't they adorable? *gushes* well, here's the chapter! Along, with several stories:<p>

_Shadow's Glance - _a BlueXSunny fanfic, light kissing, all that good stuff, one-shot

_Light's Love - _Sequel to_ Shadow's Glance, _xcept with some nice, sticky smut! One-shot.

_Precious Liquid - _angsty Starscream one-shot, excessive blood_  
><em>

Please check those out! Again, my warning still stands...hopefully, my writing skills will not fail me, and I will write a story that has some actual thickening plot. I have an angsty event in store to come up soon...but until then, enjoy the fluff! XD

Please review! Much appreciated, and they keep me up on my writing game!

The RedFerno songfic that I'm in the middle of writing should be up within the next few days, so be on the look out for it! Not quite sure what it'll be called, so I can't help you there...

Review!

3 Huntress


	14. Dirty, Frightened Sinner

**STICKY ALERT! STICKY ALERT! PORN MUSE HAS TAKEN OVER AND DECIDED TO MAKE HUNTRESS WRITE _8 PAGES_ OF SMUT! STICKY ALERT! AVERT THINE EYES!** [Or, ya know, _don't_ if you're a perv like me... :)]

Chapter 13 everyone! Unlucky number for some, lucky number for hipsters, and the plot thickening chapter for Reach Out!

Okay, so remember when I said waaayy back in Chapter 7 that _that_ was going to be the longest chapter that you'll ever see from me, and it was at about 3.5 thousand words? Yeah...I lied. _This_ breaks that record, at over 5 thousand words, not counting A/N's, so yay for new word counts!

Also, there is some _interesting _formatting in this chapter. I think it's pretty constant throughout the story, but if it's confusing, let me know in a review. K thx bai.

Again, as earlier stated, this chapter has a MASSIVE AMOUNT OF STICKY! Don't like, please don't troll...but then again, would you be here if you didn't like sticky? XD

* * *

><p><em>Knock Out entered his quarters, silently creeping in the dark. The gentle cycles of air from the berth across from the door gave away the location of his prey. He had been feeling abnormally hot this solar-cycle, and he wanted to get rid of the excess charge. Concentrated in his spark chamber and pelvic plating, the heat had kept Knock Out distracted and wanton all solar-cycle. And he only knew of one solution to fix it. Stepping around the desk, the red medic finally reached the berth side of his target. <em>

_Large pieces of blue plating shined in the light, inviting touch from the slim medic's fingers. Keening low in his throat, Knock Out traced along the curves and lines in the bigger mech's chassis. From the shoulder spikes that guarded his alt-mode's front wheels, to his spare tire on his back, all the way to his lights on his hips; every single inch of the mech was caressed lovingly by his partner. A gentle push on the right shoulder, and the larger mech rolled over, before waking up. Knock Out jumped onto the berth, crouching next to his partner on his knees. _

"_Knock Out, wha-"he murmured, before Knock Out cut him off with a smoldering kiss. Straddling his partner, the red medic deepened the kiss, sliding his glossa into the other mechs mouth. Tasting every inch and crevice in the sweet cavern, Knock Out moaned as the blue frontliner returned the caress, gently nipping at his lower lipplate. The sound of his moan triggered lust from the mech below him, and the blue mech's arms wrapped around his midsection, grinding their pelvic plating together._

_Pulling away, Knock Out panted, "Breakdown…all solar-cycle…hot…need you…now," as he grinded down on his lover's plating. The heat in his valve hadn't abated, but the flow of lubricants made him even hornier than before. His spike, fully pressurized, begged to be released, but Knock Out was waiting for a command from his lover. _

_Lustfully growling, Breakdown flipped them over, kissing all down his medic's neck cables and chest plating, glossa flicking over sensitive seams. One hand pinned down Knock Out's servos, the other rubbed at his axel joint. Laving his glossa over sensitive headlights, Breakdown nicked his denta against the red mech's chassis, keeping care not to damage the paint. _

"_Open up, Knock Out," Breakdown growled, the vibrations going straight into his hot pelvic plating. Gasping in relief, the medic snapped back his plating, his red and white spike standing at attention, begging for release. His valve clenched in on itself, wanting to be full of something, anything; preferably his lover's spike though. _

"_Please Breakdown…no teasing…need you!" Knock Out moaned, not wanting to wait. He needed Breakdown's spike, filling him up, taking him with everything that he had. _

"_Hehe…sorry, babe. _You_ woke me up for this, so _I_ get to make the decisions," he replied, darkly laughing. Breakdown's servo drifted down from Knock Out's shoulder, massaging down abdominal plating. Knock Out bucked up into the touch, grazing his spike against his lover's arms, gaining a little stimulation. _

"_Breakdooowwwnnn….PLEASE! Ple-OOHH!" Knock Out gasped as his lover snaked down his chassis, nuzzling against his spike. Breakdown's glossa snaked out, licking away the transfluid that had dripped from the slightly flared tip. He teased the sensitive slit, reveling in the moans that Knock Out produced. The medic bucked up into the touch, begging for Breakdown to take his spike into his mouth, and give him release. Breakdown pinned down the squirming hips, drawing a whine from the medic. _

"_Please, please Breakdown! I need it…I-I need you…" Knock Out moaned. The heat in his chassis had reached almost critical levels, scorching the red plating, and radiating in between the two mechs. _

_Finally, FINALLY, Breakdown took the hint and swallowed the red and white spike, glossa laving at the underside. Knock Out threw his helm back and let out a muffled scream as Breakdown swallowed around the spike, mimicking the feel of a valve. Condensation dripped off of his chassis, dampening the sheets as he fought against the servo pinning him down._

_Breakdown's other servo, which had been previously holding his hands above his helm, made it's way down Knock Out's chassis before circling around his valve, tracing patterns in the lubricant leaking out. _

"_BREAKDOWN! P-pleasee…" Knock Out begged, grinding down his valve onto the finger playing in one of his most intimate areas. Breakdown allowed his finger to slide into the clenching valve, watching, enthralled, as the quivering metal took the large digit without pause._

_Pulling off his spike, Breakdown asked, "What do you want, Knock Out?" a sinful smile upon his lips as transfluid dripped down his chin. _

"_Take me…enough teasing…" Knock Out panted, trying to gain satisfaction from the teasing digit massaging the inside of his valve. _

_A dark chuckle, and then, "Whatever you say, Doctor." A firm kiss on Knock Out's lips and then Breakdown's panel snapped back, revealing his large, erect spike. Perfectly in proportion to the rest of Breakdown's frame, the blue-and-silver plated spike dripped lubricant, wanting to be buried in Knock Out's tight heat. _

_Mewling when Breakdown took his finger out, Knock Out canted his hips up as his lover slowly shifted forward. The proximity between Knock Out's valve and Breakdown's spike was driving the medic crazy. Wrapping his legs around his lover, he pulled him in closer, until-_

Knock Out sat up, dripping in condensation. _It was just a dream…it was just a dream_. Looking down at the berth, Knock Out saw his partner stretched out on his stomach, clearly still in recharge.

Grimacing, Knock Out looked down at the mess he had made in the berth. Lubricant and transfluid stained the sheets below his hips, down his thighs, and behind his panel. Embarrassment flooded his circuits as he looked down at the incriminating evidence of his wet dream. _I'm an adult! I'm too old to be having dreams like this…but what would make me have a dream like that? _A stirring deep within his spark alerted Knock Out that the ever-present demons might have an answer. _Slag, not-_

_**Because you are a filthy whore, perhaps? **_

_NO! I'm not. I just…he's still here, isn't he? And it was just a dream…it means nothing! _

_**A dream is a wish your heart makes. You want to be thoroughly dominated by him, to be taken in every way possible by him, don't you? He already has overloaded you once, all without taking off your panel. You really are easy to get in the berth, aren't you? **_

_I'm not "easy to get in the berth;" I just happen to actually care about this mech. And he cares about me too…But I'm not sure if he would want me after he finds out about my past._

_**Knock Out, Knock Out, Knock Out; what are we to do with you? Even after all of our warnings, you still want to tell him of your past? But, that would require you to be open, and not a lying, cheating, bastard.**_

_I haven't LIED to Breakdown…I just…_

_**Haven't told him the truth? When he finds out, he's going to ditch you like stale Energon. He will hate you. He only loves you because you seem perfect. Just like that perfect little valve of yours…**_

_SHUT UP! _

_**Begging to be taken, wanting stimulation; JUST LIKE IN THAT DREAM OF YOURS!**_

Suddenly, Breakdown rolled over in his recharge, shifting his servo closer to Knock Out's thigh, jolting the medic out of his thoughts. The silver hand gently ran up and down the medic's grey thigh under the sheets, before the blue frontliner stopped the movement, and just let the hand stay there. Tentatively, Knock Out laced his fingers with Breakdown's, reveling in the warmth, taking strength from his partner.

_**Worthless little whore. You are nothing. NOTHING! At least, nothing without us. **_

_That's not true, I-_

_**Really? You didn't listen to us the first time; you were kidnapped and forced to become a pleasure bot. You didn't listen to us the second time, and were raped by hundreds of mechs. **_

_Stop it, I-_

_**You didn't listen to us the third time, and your own lieutenant almost raped you! AGAIN! Do you SEE what happens when you don't listen to us? BAD THINGS!**_

Knock Out scrambled to control what was happening. He blocked the demons from continuing to be able to talk, but he just couldn't take away their presence all together. The medic unwittingly squeezed Breakdown's servo as he whimpered in pain. The demons threw themselves against the binds he created in his mind, trying to keep them back, but only succeeding in aggravation. The world started spinning, and all feelings of self-doubt and hatred spun around his spark, sinking him lower and lower. Coolant tears ran down his faceplates, the pulsing pain in his helm getting hotter.

Suddenly warmth; not the frantic, panicky heat of a mental meltdown, but the loving, accepting heat of Breakdown's arms surrounded him. Full out crying now, Knock Out finally let it all flow out. The anxiety over Breakdown's departure, the mission, the rogue 'Con, Starscream, the demons, his past, the confusing dream; everything. And throughout it all, Breakdown held him, gently rocking back and forth.

_So weak, so fragile, so undeserving of this. Maybe they are right…but he loves me! He said so himself…frag, why can't they just leave?_

Knock Out turned himself into his partner, clutching desperately at the blue mech's shoulder spikes, keeping himself grounded. The soothing circles on his back did little to calm him, so Breakdown decided to try a different approach. Soft touches on his helm fin finally quieted Knock Out's sobbing into quiet hiccupping stalls, but his grip did not let up.

The CMO expected to be questioned by Breakdown, asking for an explanation as to why he had this panic attack in the middle of the night, especially after things had gone so smoothly when Breakdown had first returned. Knock Out was asking himself the same thing.

When Breakdown returned, the medic was waiting outside the main bridge, having been monitoring the ground-bridge activities remotely from the med-bay. He was surprised that Soundwave hadn't yet found out about it. His specifically engineered spyware had alerted him to more activity, and a returning mech from around the same coordinates where Breakdown was dropped off. Knock Out had scampered off to the bridge, the first time that he was out of the medbay all day. He hated feeling so vulnerable, but Starscream was still on the ship, and he was no doubt not happy with how his attempt at "revenge" had played out.

Finally seeing his lover emerge from the _Nemesis' _bridge doors, in more or less one piece, Knock Out wasted no time grabbing him and pulling him into a secluded hallway, where he proceeded to kiss him senseless.

After taking in the state of the blue frontliner, Knock Out demanded a trip to the washracks, where he got an opportunity to explore his lover's frame some more. Then, it was straight into the recharge berth for the both of them, after some cuddling.

So what had made the demons come back? The dream. That stupid wet dream. But how in the Pit was he supposed to tell that to Breakdown? Just thinking about the dream, coupled with the touches on his helm fin warmed Knock Out's circuits, and he had to pull away.

"How do you feel?" Breakdown quietly asked. The rocking motion hadn't slowed, and the repetitive motion calmed Knock Out enough for him to construct an answer.

"To be honest…like slag." The watery, throaty whisper betrayed just how truly upset the medic was.

"Oh, babe," Breakdown murmured before tucking the medics helm under his chin. "What can I do?"

The steady spark beat below Knock Out's audio calmed his own erratic one, syncing as best as it could to the solid beat. Sniffling pathetically, Knock Out merely said, "Just hold me…"

A gentle kiss was placed on Knock Out's helm, and he curled tighter against his partner. Unfortunately, the motion alerted Knock Out to how revved up he still was. The dream had left more _pleasurable_ feelings coursing through his CPU, and the ache in his valve was evidence of that. More lubricant trickled out of his valve, pooling at the seams in his pelvic plating. The proximity to Breakdown also added to the heat raging through his systems.

Freezing in place, Knock Out attempted to get out of the calming embrace, against his spark's wishes. Grateful for Breakdown's compliance, Knock Out slid off of his partner's lap, but leaned against his supporting arm.

Breakdown softly clicked his vocalizer, asking what had happened. Knock Out didn't want to answer, but his finely tuned engine revved hard in arousal, betraying his wants. Embarrassment flowed through the medic, and he quickly hid his face.

_Stupid, Stupid, STUPID! Ugh…I can't even control my reaction over a wet dream? Why the fuck would he even want me now…_

"Knock Out…it's _okay_," Breakdown said, through his obvious shock at the medic's predicament. Knock Out spun off of his support, whirling around and standing up next to the berth. Pacing back and forth, Knock Out began his emotional tirade.

"No, no it's not! First I can't fight off two slagging Autobots, then Starscream extracts revenge which I let myself walk-don't interrupt me Breakdown," the medic ordered, having seen Breakdown open his mouth as if to talk. "_Literally walk into it_, only to be cornered like some scared petrorabbit, and then I can't even control my reaction about a wet dream, and I _should _be able to control that, and I-what's wrong with you?"

Breakdown sat rigidly in the berth, engine turning over multiple times in a confusing array of emotions. _Sadness, protectiveness, lust, love, yearning, caution, anger._ Knock Out was slightly confused; why was Breakdown mad at him?

"Knock Out, I…" Breakdown began to explain but ultimately faded away. There was something in his optics that sort of unnerved the medic, but Knock Out was too preoccupied with the lubricant sliding down his thighs, slightly pooling at his knee joints. Mortified, Knock Out stilled, trying to keep the sight from his frozen partner. Turning away from Breakdown, Knock Out tried desperately to calm his raging codes, and stop the lubrication.

Out of nowhere, vibrations shocked against his aft, as Breakdown stood behind him, channeling the sensations from his engine through his pelvic plating. Moaning in his hypersensitive state, Knock Out felt Breakdown's servos caressing through the mess on his inner thighs, gentle and slow.

Fear flashed through him, icy water dousing the lustful flame, at the thought of the subroutine taking control again. Of Breakdown taking advantage of his state, forcing him into interfacing. Of the larger mech abusing him like so many others had. But before he could put anymore thought into it, Breakdown spoke.

"Knock Out…do you have any idea how _hot_ you look right now? Faceplate flushed, throat bared…" Breakdown took that opportunity to lightly bite down on the exposed protoform, before kissing away any pain. "Your flawless finish, shining in the light, your perfect thighs, tantalizingly covered in your lubricant…" The blue mech massaged with more purpose now, each stroke bringing his servo's closer to the heated pelvic plating. Kisses rained down on Knock Out's neck and shoulder, calming his racing thoughts.

But he had heard this all before. Praise before taking what they thought was rightfully theirs; as if words alone were foreplay enough. Words were capable of turning him on, yes, but Knock Out preferred to be able to touch and be touched by his partner. At least, until around two lunar-cycles into his old life as Hubris, when the abuse started. So lost was he in his thoughts that he almost missed what Breakdown had said.

"…But the most perfect thing about you, the most attractive thing, is that you trust me. You genuinely trust me to not bring harm to you. And that, Knock Out, is the most enticing thing about you. I get to be the one to see you like this, and no one else." A servo finally made it to its destination; his valve cover.

The revelation of what Breakdown actually found attractive in him allowed Knock Out to kill some more of the demons. But the ones that called him a liar, and a cheater, and a hypocrite still thrived, limited as they were. Breakdown was helping him to take huge strides, but he still had huge skeletons in his closet, as it were.

The newfound confidence allowed Knock Out to attempt to slide back his valve cover, until the demons struck again.

_**WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU HONESTLY THINK THAT THAT IS A GOOD IDEA? WHAT THE FRAG, KNOCK OUT? You realize that the only reason that he is going to frag you is because he doesn't know the truth? If he only knew that Starscream wasn't the only one who tried to get behind that panel; and many other's had succeeded in their attempts. You are polluted, Knock Out. Worthless. You don't matter. **_

Whimpering, Knock Out hesitated before taking this any farther. Breakdown still rained kisses on his neck, but in between whispering words of love and adoration, of trust and support, seducing him in the most innocent way possible.

"Knock Out…I'm not going to force you into something that you don't want to do, nor am I going to take advantage of you. But I want you to be able to…_use me_, I guess, for lack of a better word, to help you. I'm here because I love you, Knock Out. Please…take what I'm offering. If it'll help you, I'm willing to do anything." Warm lips pressed against Knock Out's own, coaxing a moan from the mech. _Yes_, Knock Out thought, _I want this so badly…_

Opening his panel completely, Knock Out wriggled closer to Breakdown's servo, moaning long and low as a single, large finger breached his valve. Slowly, Breakdown began to thrust his finger in and out of the valve, keeping sure to touch each node in the process.

"Yess…" Knock Out keened, before he realized that he was still standing up in the middle of their quarters. Albeit, he was leaning heavily on the mech behind him, but his legs couldn't support his weight anymore.

"B-breakdown…berth…can't, _oohhh_…can't stand…please…" Knock Out panted, desperate to get to a stable surface. His chassis was burning hot, as was Breakdown's, but all he could concentrate on was the finger in his valve. It wasn't enough to satiate his lust, but when Breakdown pressed him down against the berth, stretching him with two fingers now; Knock Out was in heaven.

Bucking up into the sensations, Knock Out rippled his valve against the thick intruding fingers, wanting more stimulation, more girth; he just wanted more. The fact that it was Knock Out himself, not the demons nor the subroutine, that wanted Breakdown, made his engine turn over in a jolt of lust, the vibrations further stimulating his stretched valve.

"Online your optics, Knock Out…" a husky timbre demanded in his audio. Groaning at the lustful tone, Knock Out hazily complied. The sight of his lover's smoldering gold optic, shining with love and lust, greeted him.

Wrapping his arms around his lover's neck, he pulled him down for a kiss, wanton and loving, before pulling back. "Please…faster, Breakdown. I need..._aahhnn…_I need to o-overload…_please!_" Desperation flooded his voice as Breakdown complied, restarting the kiss as he picked up the pace.

Lubrication slicked Knock Out's thighs, adding more to the mess on the berth. Condensation dripped off both frames, and Knock Out's lips were swollen from the brutal kissing. His claw-like fingers dragged down Breakdown's arms, leaving small cuts, and bleeding energon. He was close, on the precipice, but he needed something more.

"_Aaahhnn…_Another…one more, Breakdown…_oh, Primus_…one more finger…_mmmmm…_so close, I'm so close…" Knock Out panted, desperate for more.

Stretching the medic with another digit, Breakdown leaned towards him, their lipplates just brushing, as he replied, "Whatever you say, Doctor."

_Just like my dream, _Knock Out thought, before the pleasureable wave of overload rushed through his systems, shaking his frame with the after shocks. Breakdown, still tense above him, curled his lingering fingers against the anterior node in Knock Out's valve, drawing out the overload some more.

Finally, when the shaking subsided, Knock Out came back to his senses. The dreamy, fuzzy post-overload haze surrounded his CPU, but the look in his lover's optics was enough to shock him back to reality.

"Y-you didn't…" Knock Out let the question fade away, leaving the obvious to Breakdown's interpretation.

"No, this was about _you_, babe. I'll be fine," the larger mech replied, before drawing out his fingers.

Knock Out tiredly twitched at the sensation, before he registered what his lover was saying. "No, wait, I can't leave you like…_this_. That's not fair." In Knock Out's past, admittedly dark and twisted as it was, to leave someone without overloading not only wasn't fair, but it also could have gotten you scorned by the rest of the mechs you worked with. When mechs came to a harem, they expected a good time, full of overloads and submitting partners. This wasn't the subroutine talking; this was just how Knock Out felt. And he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

But the prospect of seeing Breakdown's spike may bring back memories. And Knock Out didn't want to risk going through that. But Breakdown needed an overload, by Knock Out's hand…

_Hhmm…that give me an idea,_ the medic thought as he hastily put together a plan. Catching the frontliner off guard, Knock Out flipped him over, before utilizing his sexiest, most alluring voice possible.

"It's your turn to open up now, Breakdown," he purred, not surprised at all when the plating below him snapped open of its own accord. His assistant's chassis below him stiffened, before Knock Out assuaged his fears. "Don't worry, none of this will hurt me. I won't push myself outside of my comfort zone; and you need to trust that. Now sit back, relax, and let me take care of you."

Tracing his fingers down Breakdown's frame, Knock Out began his well-learned routine. "Hhnn…such a _big_ mech. Strong, protective, fearless…" the medic eyed Breakdown's chassis appreciatively, massaging his shoulders and stomach plating as he went. The blue frontliner relaxed fractionally, and lust battled with concern in his golden optic. Soothingly kissing Breakdown, Knock Out continued in his alluring voice.

"I'll bet you have a lot of stamina…after all, I've seen you in battle, and you really can go for a long time…wonder if the same applies here?" Knock Out dipped his right servo's fingers into the seam where Breakdown's pelvic plating met his abdomen, playing with the exposed wires. Breakdown whined, a low desperate sound, as he bucked his hips up, wanting attention.

Knock Out kept care not to look at Breakdown's spike; if he didn't look at it, hopefully the memories would stay away. Gently, the red medic dragged a talon up the fairly large spike, before wrapping his servo around it. _Holy Primus…I just might need two servos! _For the mech's spike was much thicker than Knock Out had expected, but he refused to let his shock show. Steadily, Knock Out pumped his servo, keeping care to lick and kiss Breakdown's neck cables as a distraction. The blue mech's engine vibrated below Knock Out's waist, signifying that he was close.

"C'mon, Breakdown. Overload for me," Knock Out purred, revving his engine hard. The conflicting vibrations pushed Breakdown over the edge, and with a strangled moan, the larger mech overloaded, transfluid flowing onto Knock Out's servo and the berth.

Panting in the aftermath, Knock Out pulled away. _I did it…I managed to stay in control! _Happiness flooded his frame as Breakdown spoke.

"Knock Out…that was…" words seemed to be failing the blue mech, so Knock Out took pity on him.

"Amazing? Perfect? Everything that you ever wanted and then some?"

"Slag yeah! Knock Out," Breakdown grabbed the medic's cooling frame and pulled him flush against his front, lustfully growling in his audio. "I swear, I could have overloaded from your voice alone! How did you…"

Shrugging, Knock Out internally winced. _Well, I can't exactly tell him that I used to be a part of a harem of pleasure-bots, and that's where I learned all my tactics…_ Deciding to use the tried and true technique, Knock Out avoided the question.

"I don't really know…nor do I really want to do anymore talking, with this mess all over me, you, and the berth…washracks?" Craning his head back, Knock Out looked into Breakdown's optic, awaiting an answer.

When Breakdown stood up, still holding onto the red medic, he startled Knock Out, into grabbing onto his arms with his claw-like fingers. The markings drew more energon, alerting Knock Out to the other scratches all down his lover's shoulder plating. With a medic's precision, he carefully inspected them, before noticing his partner staring down at him.

"What?"

"Nothing, but you don't need to worry about those," Breakdown replied, starting to make the trek to their washracks. "My self-repair systems will fix them, KO, you know that."

"Can't help it…I worry…" Knock Out replied, somewhat sheepish in his actions.

A kiss on his helm fin before Breakdown opened the door, replying, "I love you too, Knock Out."

* * *

><p>Much later in the evening, Knock Out, now clean, sat at a table in the medbay. Breakdown was off to the side, cleaning some equipment, and all was quiet. Except within Knock Out's mind.<p>

_**We've said it once, we'll say it again. You. Are. A. Whore. **_

_Shut up! Breakdown knows-_

_**Absolutely nothing about you. He knows that you give a good servojob, and that's it. He knows nothing about who you were before the war, nothing about what you did to get those skills, and nothing about-**_

_While Breakdown may know _everything_ that has happened to me, he has been there through the good and the bad. _

_**Not ALL the bad things; just Starscream.**_

_Will you just shut up? YOU KNOW NOTHING! NOTHING! What did I do wrong? …Why do I have to suffer through this, and every other mech gets to be completely normal…Why me?_

Knock Out whimpered, before hiding his face in his servos. He just couldn't win, that was inevitably what it came down to. Heavy pedsteps behind him alerted the despairing mech to Breakdown's presence.

"What's wrong?" Now, Breakdown didn't mean to sound accusing. In fact, if anybot else were in the room, they wouldn't have heard the inflection that Knock Out did. But the red medic was tired, annoyed, depressed, and felt as if the whole world was crashing down on him. That question, that innocent question, pushed him over the edge.

A laugh full of self-loathing floated out of his vocalizer, before he turned around and snapped.

"You want to know what's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong! I'm being assaulted by my own fragging mind! I used to be a normal mech, until I was sparkling-napped and raised by the greasiest, scummy mechs in Kaon. They sold me to a mech starting a pleasure-bot business, and then screwed around in my spark, adding and taking away subroutines until I became a pathetic drone! I was _fine_ until I got sold into really bad deals and I was _RAPED_. _OVER AND OVER AGAIN! I COULD NEVER ESCAPE! AND NO ONE HELPED ME! _I was completely alone, being forced into staying with people that I didn't want to be a part of! And then, I join the Decepticons thinking that I would be able to free myself, and then came _Starscream._"

At this point, Knock Out stood and was pacing up and down the medbay. On the last word, he hissed out the name, claws flexing involuntarily. The rush of getting everything off his spark was riveting, and he wanted more. Anger, resentment, and built up depression spun through Knock Out's conscious, tainting his every action and word.

"The slagging commander forced himself on me, into my mouth, and almost into my valve! Did you enjoy that last night by the way? The feel of having your fingers up my tight, wet valve? A _whore's valve?_ I just can't take this anymore! I'm, so sick of feeling useless, weak, and-"

Suddenly, everything that he just said to Breakdown registered in his frayed CPU. All he could think was, _I just told him everything. __Everything._

Snapping his helm up, the Aston Martin saw his partner's shocked expression. Knock Out tried to speak, but his vocalizer had been pushed past its limits, and all that came out was emotionless static. The irresistible urge to run flashed through his lines, and Knock Out fled.

He couldn't tell what he was trying to run from; Breakdown, or himself. Abrupt pain radiated in his CPU, before similar pain smashed into his faceplate and chest.

"Ugh...wha-" Dazedly looking up, Knock Out's dread increased. Staring down at him, utter contempt in his optics was none other than Starscream himself.

"I may not have been able to finish what I began earlier, but I most certainly can now! Our dear leader is otherwise engaged, and I'm assuming that you were running from Breakdown just now. Had a little spat, have we? Too bad I really don't care," Starscream hissed, raising his claw like servo.

Knock Out looked away, resigning himself to his fate. Yet, it didn't come. Risking a glance, Knock Out was met with a most unsuspected scene. _Soundwave_ of all mechs was holding Starscream's arm back, silently questioning what has going on.

"Oh none of your business Soundwave," Starscream's voice dropped low in disgust at being thwarted once again. "Just some…_disciplinary measures_…"

Soundwave, true to his nature, didn't respond by himself; he merely replayed a recording of Megatron.

'_And Soundwave…keep an optic on Starscream, he's been even more untrustworthy lately than usual…report any and all findings.' _

Growling, Starscream wrenched his arm free, giving the fallen medic one last once over before stalking away.

Crouching low, Soundwave helped Knock Out up, before flashing glyphs across his screen.

(Observation: distracted. Suggestion: follow me)

Knock Out refused. The last time he followed a mech, he ended up getting assaulted…but he hadn't done anything to anger Soundwave…at least, not to his knowledge. But before the medic could question Soundwave, the silent purple mech "spoke" again.

(Observation: Breakdown is headed this way. Inquiry: want to speak to assistant?)

Immediately, Knock Out shook his helm. He didn't want to deal with Breakdown just yet, and he had no other choice but to follow Soundwave. Gesturing for the purple mech to lead the way, Knock Out gave one last glance behind him, as Soundwave led him away.

* * *

><p>Soundwave ultimately led Knock Out to his own quarters. Entering in the code, Soundwave pushed Knock Out inside, before following and locking the door. The room was surprisingly moderately furnished, with a couch and side table in the seating area, and three doors in the back, leading presumably to Soundwave's berth room and washracks. The third one however, was a mystery to the medic. The silent mech unlatched his flier, the medic following it's flight path to a ledge in the back of the room.<p>

(Status: Safe. Reason: Megatron trusts Soundwave for privacy; Starscream is scared of Soundwave; Breakdown would not search here.)

Knock Out watched the silent 'Con walk around his quarters. There was not doubt about it, the medic was now in a locked room with one of the most deadly Decepticons of them all. But _why_ had Soundwave come to his rescue?

"Soundwave," though he cringed at the raspy tone of his vocalizer, at least it worked now, and the medic pressed on. "Why did you help me? We've never…" Knock Out trailed off, following Soundwave's gestures and taking a seat on the couch.

(Explanation: Soundwave sees and hears everything. Observation: Tension between Starscream and Knock Out. Investigated security cameras for reason why. Found recording of assault. Reaction: Disgusted further with Starscream. Second Observation: Fight between Knock Out and partner. Reaction: Surprised at outburst by medic. Third Observation: Knock Out in no state to defend against Starscream. Conclusion: Soundwave must step in.)

"Great…even _Soundwave _knows how useless and weak I am," Knock Out muttered under his intake, self-hatred evident in his tone. He hunched down on himself, depression surrounding the medic like a tangible aura.

(Suggestion: Don't second guess self. Makes weakness. Weakness is death. Observation: Starscream preys on those weaker than him. Starscream knew of Knock Out's mental plight. Picked that moment on purpose. Second Suggestion: Try to move on. Past is past. Now is now. Knock Out: Needs to accept change. Status: Soundwave in need of recharge. Warning: Don't try to leave. Starscream still out there. Breakdown still out there. Suggestion: Stay until morning. Megatron not suspicious of Soundwave. Knock Out questioned, Soundwave has alibi. Knock Out: In need of recharge as well. Second berth, located last door on left. Other option: couch. Statement: See you in morning.)

With that surprisingly empathetic speech, Soundwave left the main area of his quarters, entering and closing the berth room door behind him. Knock Out leaned back on the couch, shocked that Soundwave would help him. But he was right. Knock Out needed to move on, and accept that. But how was he going to do that, when his past literally had a voice in everything that he did?

Exhaustion finally overtook the mech, and Knock Out fell into recharge on the TIC's couch, Laserbeak recharging in the back, and Soundwave in his own room. Not the ideal way to end the day, but at this point he was just happy to be in one piece.

* * *

><p>Kinda a crap ending, but it needed to end that way. So, what do you think? Good sex, bad sex, all around sex is sex and I don't really care; GIVE ME ALL YOUR FEELS!<p>

Also, what are your feelings of Soundwave being introduced into the story? So far, I don't have much written for him, but given my reader's response, I can either make him fade away, or become more important. How did I do writing him? First time, please be gentle!

Thirdly, there is a poll on my profile, talking about various pairings that have settled in my mind. Please check that out!

Oh, and one more thing! I've been thinking about changing the summary of my story, but I don't know what to change it to. So, I guess the question is, what drew you, the readers, to the story? The pairing, the genre, the summary...I want to know! Because this was my first story, so it wasn't as if I had an established name at the time...let me know!

This story heavily depends on reviews from it's readers. Please review this chapter, even if it's the only one that you do, because I really need the reader's input on this. PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU!

See you in the next chapter!

3 Huntress


	15. Attempted Reclaim

Heeyyy you guys...this is Chapter 14! Yay, something to prove that I'm not dead! Umm...basically, I've caught by the Avenger's bug, and my Transformer muses are being diva's and are not cooperating with me.

This chapter is ridiculously short, and I apologize for that, but it's the most I can do without the story line falling apart. Speaking of which, and this was going to happen even without the muse problem, but this story is coming to a close. There is, like, three more important events on the horizon, and after that, the story is done! But these events will be spread apart, so expect maybe another 5, maybe 6 chapters of Reach Out? Who knows...maybe my muse will start talking to me again?

Long story short, enjoy the chapter!

* * *

><p>Knock Out paced in front of the mech, lubricants sliding down his thighs. In his anger, the red medic's face had flushed with heated energon, passionate fury lighting his unique optics. Breakdown was enthralled with how the medic moved, so graceful in his hatred. It was only when Breakdown remembered that his hatred was toward the medic himself that he felt as if he should step in.<p>

"…_Don't interrupt me Breakdown," _the medic hissed, alluring voice contorted in frustration. Breakdown's spark spun faster, wanting to be closer to his mate. He couldn't help it. Knock Out was putting on quite a show, unknowingly, and the vision was slowly revving up his systems.

_But he'll probably be even more disgusted if I showed what I was feeling…what kind of partner gets off on their significant other's anger? _As a result, Breakdown stiffened on the berth, still paying attention to his lover's tirade, but trying to keep his engine from betraying him.

"What's wrong with you?" his lover questioned as he stopped pacing. Breakdown saw the beginnings of what was sure to be a scrutinizing glare when another surge of lubricant flowed down his slim thighs. _Oh Primus_…Breakdown thought, spike pressurizing at the visual. Embarrassed, Knock Out turned away, trying to hide himself from his partner.

Breakdown, on the other hand, wasn't having any of it. Stepping up behind his lover, the blue truck revved his engine hard, channeling the vibrations through his pelvic plating, buzzing pleasantly against the firm red aft pressed against him. "Knock Out…do you have any idea how _hot _you look right now…" and so it began. Seduction in the most innocent form.

Knock Out was so close to opening his panel for Breakdown, when something made him flinch and slightly pull away. Breakdown brushed his lips against Knock Out's helm, wordlessly encouraging him. When that didn't work, he tried a different tactic.

"Knock Out…I'm not going to force you into something that you don't want to do, nor am I going to take advantage of you. But I want you to be able to…_use me_, I guess, for lack of a better word, to help you. I'm here because I love you, Knock Out. Please…take what I'm offering. If it'll help you, I'm willing to do anything." Tipping his lover's help up, Breakdown kissed him firmly, pulling a moan from the smaller mech.

The red plating slid backwards, and Breakdown wasted no time sliding a finger into the molten warmth. _Slag…he's so tight! When he's ready, I'm going to love taking him…_ When Knock Out pled to be led to the berth, Breakdown obediently obliged, using the opportunity to slide in another finger. Massaging different nodes, watching for Knock Out's reaction, Breakdown felt the clenching vice of Knock Out's valve.

Between the heat around his fingers and the pressure behind his panel, it was a miracle that he didn't go over with his lover. Arching his back, shaking in completion; Knock Out was sex personified.

Pride filled the blue mech's spark, as he reveled in the fact that Knock Out had been brought to an overload by his servo. Breakdown hadn't had any time for lovers in all his life, nor was he attractive enough to gain any mech's attention, and on the rare occasions that his sex drive made an appearance and couldn't be stopped, he had to deal with self-service. In all technicalities, Breakdown was still a virgin.

So to have someone as perfect, as tempting as Knock Out writhing below him, crying out his name was literally a dream come true. Lovely dazed optics stared back at him, and through the haze of overload, Knock Out apparently realized that he needed to overload.

"No, this was about _you_, babe. I'll be fine." Breakdown honestly _really_ wanted to overload, but he also wanted to keep this about Knock Out. Given that the only sexual favor Knock Out had done for him was a complete accident, Breakdown didn't want to push it.

But the beautiful medic refused to allow Breakdown to be selfless. The next thing Breakdown knew, he was on his back, panel open, with Knock Out purring low in his audio. He didn't want Knock Out to push himself too hard, out of his comfort zone. Freezing below his lover's chassis, he was only assuaged by Knock Out's own words, calming any and all doubt and guilt that Knock Out was pushing himself strictly for Breakdown's benefit.

Knock Out tongued sensitive nodes in Breakdown's neck, drawing a low whine from the mech. If Knock Out was going to do this, could he do it without teasing? A teasing touch up the length of his spike, and then Knock Out's entire servo wrapped around his piece. _Yess…_ he mentally hissed. It was different from self-service, in that he didn't know what was going to happen and when. Knock Out's dominance, coupled with the sultry words in his audio, threw Breakdown over the edge. Transfluid leaked down Knock Out's servo and onto the berth, but all Breakdown could think was _that was so much better than last time._

Slowly regaining his senses, Breakdown looked up at his lover. "Knock Out…that was…" Words couldn't describe how he felt at that moment. Relaxed, loved, proud, satiated; all of them and more spun around his spark, each fighting for the right to be said.

"Amazing, perfect, everything you ever wanted and then some?" his red medic supplied, cheekiness radiating from his frame. Breakdown pulled Knock Out closer as he voiced his agreement, relishing in the contact of their chassis. At the suggestion of the washracks, Breakdown held his lover closer as they stood up, carrying him to their destination.

It was after that that things went horribly, laughably, wrong.

* * *

><p>Late afternoon finds Breakdown cleaning Knock Out's tools in the back of the room, the red medic himself sitting a ways off, at a low table. The only sounds that filled the room were the squeak of clean metal and the invents of both occupants. It was too quiet for a mech used to Knock Out's nonstop chatter, his surprisingly deep voice shattering the silence.<p>

Turning around, Breakdown watched his partner silently shake, fighting some kind of internal battle. He edged closer to his partner, trying not to startle him, before leaning forward and offering help.

He did not expect a rebuke.

He did not expect an argument.

And he sure as Pit didn't expect to be told all of his lover's secrets in one, CPU numbing, blow. Nor have said lover run out of the room like the Prime was on his tail.

_Don't just stand there you idiot! GO AFTER HIM! _Breakdown yelled at himself, rushing after his partner. Rapidly picking a random direction to follow, Breakdown hurriedly ran after Knock Out, speeding up when he thought he heard his lover's voice.

Instead of being greeted with the sight of red plating, frightened optics, and an aura of dejection, Breakdown ran into the one mech he honestly could deal without.

Starscream.

The smaller seeker crashed into Breakdown's chassis, falling to the floor. Breakdown looked at the ground, for a brief moment concerned that he may have incidentally hurt a drone. Once he caught sight of Starscream, however, all feelings of sympathy vanished. Grabbing the skinny seeker by the neck, Breakdown slammed him against a wall.

Desperately clawing at Breakdown's servo, Starscream choked out, "Looking for your pet, Wrecker?"

Snarling low in his throat, Breakdown slammed Starscream back against the wall, drawing an enraged scream from the seeker. Breakdown glared at the SIC, his one golden optic burning with hatred.

"It was you. You were the one that forced him to relapse! It was YOUR FAULT!" he roared, squeezing the slender mech's neck even harder.

Still, it wasn't enough to prevent Starscream from making another harsh comment. "_My _fault? I fail to see how this was solely _my fault._ Just because _you_ are the one seeing a _whore_ doesn't mean that the whole world has to pay for what he obviously brought upon _himself," _he managed to get out before Breakdown transformed his other servo into one of his hammers.

Tapping it against Starscream's helm, he relished in the pure, unadulterated fear in the crimson optics. "Listen to me, and listen good," Breakdown began, leaning in close to the seeker's face. "You stay away from him. You don't bother him. You don't pull that kind of _shit_ that you pulled before. Understand so far?"

The human swear was foreign on his glossa, but the alien dirtiness seemed to fit the amount of rage he felt. A frantic nod from the seeker, and Breakdown continued.

"Because if you break that promise, this," Breakdown tapped his hammer against Starscream's helm for more emphasis, reveling in the fearful shudder that it resulted in. "This, will smash through your helm, splatter your internals all across the _Nemesis_, and your chassis will become a decoration for Lord Megatron's personal quarters, obligation or not. You may have a debt over me, but you will never have my loyalty. GOT THAT!" Breakdown suddenly yelled, almost flinching at the volume of his own voice.

Throwing the seeker on the ground, Breakdown turned around, furious that he had lost more ground on his lover, when he was interrupted by a ping on his comm. line.

::Breakdown here.::

::Lord Megatron has requested your presence on the bridge.:: a Vehicon's voice filtered through the comm. link, disappointing Breakdown a little on the inside. He had expected an explanation from Knock Out, or at the very least a request for space. Not some nameless drone doing Megatron's dirty work.

::I'll be there in a klik.:: Breakdown replied, before stalking over to the bridge, paying no mind to the SIC standing and following him at a more sedate pace.

* * *

><p>"Ah, Breakdown. I need your assistance once more. A Decepticon warship's wreckage from long ago was supposed to be carrying a device called the Immobilizer. I'm sure even <em>you<em> can figure out what it is supposed to do. However, the location of the ship was not logged into the databanks."

Lord Megatron walked over to the kneeling frontliner before speaking again. "The mech responsible for such a failure is none other than our dear Second in Command," Breakdown stiffened at the name. "Starscream. As a result, he will be accompanying you in your search, since the only way that we can uncover the exact location requires a guide."

Starscream chose that moment to walk into the bridge, bowing before his Lord. Breakdown couldn't help but growl low in his throat at the sight of the simpering seeker.

"Do you have a problem?" Megatron questioned, in a tone that suggested that the question was purely rhetorical. Silence met his question.

"Good then. The both of you will depart at once. Go." With that, Megatron turned and headed back to the head of the bridge, staring pensively out of the large windows in the ship.

The glare that passed between the two mechs went unnoticed by the other mecha on the bridge. Breakdown called for a ground bridge and Starscream flew out of the top hatch of the _Nemesis_. They met up on Earth's surface two minutes later, and Starscream led the way.

* * *

><p>Kinda a cliffy, not really one...idk. The next chapter will be also from BD's POV, and then the action can start. MWUAHAHAH!<p>

XD Review please!

3 Huntress


	16. Earn Your Keep

I would like to issue a formal apology to anyone who has been waiting ever so patiently (or not so patiently) for their fix of _Reach Out_. Let's just say that my muses were giving me some trouble and they finally started talking to me again once I got a change of scenery.

This chapter continues in Breakdown's POV, including when they finally talk about their feelings. Yes, this chapter has the "feelings" talk. It also has the mission with Starscream, as well as some more episode bending skills of mine. And some more Soundwave action, so that's cool too.

Without further ado, here's the next installment of _Reach Out_.

* * *

><p>The green flash from the bridge faded away as Breakdown drove through. Hovering outside the drop off point, Starscream waited for Breakdown to catch up, before a dangerous rev of the armored mech's engine scared the seeker off. Turning around, he jetted off into the distance, Breakdown's fury at having been assigned with <em>this mech <em>enabling him to keep up with the flying mech with no problem.

The duo continued in silence, Starscream flying ahead just enough for Breakdown to follow him no problem. About 20 minutes had passed when the seeker flew low to the ground, hovering for a few seconds, before transforming. Breakdown purposely almost drove over Starscream before transforming, standing optic to optic with the SIC. A wordless threat passed between the two of them as Breakdown transformed one of his servos into a hammer, before surveying the area.

Trees lined the east and south horizons, and to the west and north there was nothing but expansive desert. A few boulders at the foot of a canyon wall were about 50 ft. away and the full moon shone down on their plating, bathing both the silver and blue mechs with a pristine white. But there was no ship.

_Could Starscream have brought me here for a fight? Nonsense, he knows that I'll follow through on my threat earlier; and it's not like the Eradicon's respect him anyways. The only reason that they would listen to him is rank, not respect. And sometimes respect runs deeper than military hierarchy. But why did that fragging seeker bring me here?_

"Confused?" Starscream preened, jutting one hip out as he watched Breakdown try to figure out if this was a trap or not.

Breakdown could feel the silent pride coming from the mech behind him. Wordlessly, he turned around, fixing Starscream with a level stare, and raised his hammer. The renewed threat wiped the smug grin right off the seeker's face.

"The _Harbinger _is directly below us. I'll need to find a point of entry," Starscream explained, deadpanning his vocalizer to avoid showing how truly intimidated he is. The grey mech then turned around and started pacing the clearing, attempting to make good on his word.

Breakdown, tempted as he was to stand back and let Starscream do the dirty work for once, wanted to get back to the _Nemesis _so he could try to find Knock Out and talk things over with him. That wouldn't happen if Starscream kept going at the pace he was going. Turning on his scanners, Breakdown looked around him. Below the ground, as Starscream had said, was a huge ship, with one entrance point buried in the canyon wall. Breakdown walked away toward the canyon wall, focusing on the doorway hidden in the rock.

"What are you doing?" Starscream indignantly shrieked as Breakdown shattered a portion of the canyon wall repeatedly with his hammer.

"Getting inside," Breakdown replied, not bothering to turn around. Eventually, the dull strike of metal on metal was heard. Switching back to his servos, Breakdown pulled the door off and climbed through the doorway, not bothering to check if Starscream followed.

"You shouldn't bother," Starscream drawled as he crawled in behind Breakdown. "I did this a thorough search when I first came here; you won't find anything."

"That's not what Megatron seems to think," Breakdown replied, plating bristling at the fact that Starscream would even dare to try to have a conversation with the...well, what was he to Knock Out now? He knew his history, but something told Breakdown that that wasn't the full story.

Knock Out had been confused, hurting, angry, and panicking at the time; naturally he would say the darkest details possible to try to drive Breakdown away. Knock Out had only succeeded in making Breakdown more concerned, however. Although, the knowledge that since Starscream was with him, by proxy he couldn't bother Knock Out. The one boon of his situation.

Turning down a corridor, the blue truck read the markings along the ship's halls. He knew what he was looking for; a storage hatch, or a containment panel. Starscream couldn't even see what was right in front of him.

From his days of doing grunt work for Megatron, Breakdown knew that most workers had a type of shorthand that they wrote on the ships walls. Directions, warnings, instructions for newcomers; a secret world below the officers olfactory sensors.

The markings soon gave way to the storage facilities warnings/instructions. According to this, it was around the next corner. And yet, it wasn't.

A solid wall of rock met Breakdown when he turned the corner. Standing there shocked, Breakdown tried feeling around the edges of the ship, looking for a hatch or panel, something to explain what happened. A sharp pain in Breakdown's servo made the large mech pull back, energon welling along the cut on his palm.

_A jagged edge..._When you were in one of the lowest standings of the army, there is no reason for you to lie to your fellow grunts. Every single one of you gets treated like dirt, so why hide things from your peers...

"The ship was broken," Breakdown breathed, looking back down at the energon in his palm. Normally self-repair would have taken care of it, but he hadn't eaten anything for the past few days, and sleep had been woefully lacking since Knock Out's nightmares had gotten worse.

He had been sacrificing his own health so that Knock Out could feel safe and loved; but apparently that wasn't enough. How much more could Breakdown give?

"Yes, brilliant deduction, Breakdown. I take it that the Immobilizer is on the second half?" Starscream announced as he finally made his way over to where Breakdown was.

"You would know, Screamer, now wouldn't you?" Breakdown murmured, slowly turning around.

Starscream took a step back, slightly shivering at the larger mech's presence. "The ship didn't break during the crash; there were no skid-marks, or any other tell-tale signs of a ship this large being broken on the ground. So it must have been shot out of the sky. Decepticon's are _this _careless with landings. So, that begs the question; where is it?" Breakdown asked, not bothering to intimidate Starscream further. He was sufficiently scared.

The SIC begrudgingly answered, "It's two clicks north of here, through a stone arch."

Suddenly, Breakdown was across the hall, pinning Starscream to the wall, one servo against his neck; very similar to his hold earlier on the _Nemesis_. "Then _why _didn't you take me there _IN THE FIRST PLACE!_"

He could see the gears turning, so to speak, in Starscream's helm, trying to come up with an excuse for his actions. Lie after potential lie filtered though his CPU, before Breakdown just released him. Starscream wouldn't come clean for anything; interrogation was useless. Disgusted, Breakdown dropped Starscream, before turning and stalking out of the ship's debris.

* * *

><p>Standing on top of the wreckage of the second half of the <em>Harbinger<em>, Breakdown examined the Immobilizer. Long, slender, similar to Knock Out's energon prod, a blue vortex-like light came from one end of the device. He supposed _that_ was the immobilizing part.

"Well done, Breakdown. Now hand it over," Starscream ordered as he sauntered over to Breakdown's side.

"Why?" Breakdown asked, turning around. "What do you need it fo-" Breakdown cut himself off as Starscream lunged toward him, talon-like fingers extended. He knew the damage that they could do, had seen it first hand; they could penetrate even the Eradicon's standard battle armor. Sure, Breakdown had a few extra layers of armor, but nothing extra to cover vulnerable joints and lines. Ducking to avoid being hit, Breakdown accidentally dropped the Immobilizer, and watched as it rolled off the ship's side.

Starscream came back around with his other servo, this time connecting with Breakdown's facial plating. The small cuts stung, but nothing that some solvent and energon wouldn't fix. The next time Starscream lunged forward, Breakdown caught his arm, using Starscream's momentum against him, and threw him off the ship. The seeker landed flat on his back about 10 feet from the Immobilizer. Breakdown jumped off the ship, landing with his peds on either side of the slender mech.

"What the _frag _was _that_for?" Breakdown growled, transforming one of his servos into a hammer. This mech just couldn't take a hint!

"Ever since your pet decided to get a new bodyguard, I've been unable to get any work done in the _Nemesis_! As if having you wasn't bad enough..." Starscream explained, subtly trying to wriggle his way out from underneath Breakdown's gaze.

With no hesitation whatsoever, Breakdown stood on Starscream's arms, denting the metal below them. _What did he mean, a new bodyguard? _

"Explain."

"Wha...surely you can't be _that obtuse_!" Starscream attempted a laugh, but when Breakdown ground his ped into Starscream's arm, breaking some struts within, he shrieked in pain. Looking over to the Immobilizer, Breakdown ground his peds in one last time before standing to grab the device.

At the opposite end of the device, away from the vortex-like light, were several sharp hooks and at the end a dagger-like tip. It seemed like it was meant to be put in the ground, and then the immobilizing part could radiate out like a shield. But here the sharp edges had another function.

Breakdown walked back over to Starscream, thinking about what he could do first. Crouching down, he splayed his fingers against the seekers chest plating, feeling the erratic spark-beat below.

"Tell me," Breakdown ordered again, shifting the Immobilizer in his grasp to a more comfortable hold.

"It's _obvious_," Starscream tried again, not quite willing to give into Breakdown's demands, but in no hurry to be further injured.

"Not to me," Breakdown growled, bringing the Immobilizer closer to his captive. Looking into Starscream's optics, Breakdown demanded one last time that Starscream give up a name.

Not one word.

Taking the spear-like ending on the device, Breakdown cut into Starscream's wrists, then elbows, then shoulders; exactly where the SIC had cut Knock Out before.

"You have one last chance, Starscream, or I'll make sure that you never fly again!" Breakdown flipped Starscream over, angling the now bloody end of the Immobilizer against his wing struts. Panic set in as Starscream started thrashing, only succeeding in scraping his wings against the hooks on the device.

"AAARRGRGHHH...you wouldn't _ground_ a _seeker_, would you?" Starscream pled, trying to make optic contact with Breakdown one last time.

"Try me."

Shuddering, Starscream gave in. "It's Soundwave, Wrecker."

_Soundwave...of all the mecha, Soundwave? What is Knock Out doing with Sound-_Before Breakdown could finish his thoughts, the tell-tale drilling sound of that rogue femme echoed through the canyon. She was still some ways off, and Breakdown planned to make the best of it. Tucking the Immobilizer in his subspace, Breakdown ran a few paces before transforming and driving away.

::This is Breakdown, requesting ground-bridge to my coordinates.::

Surprisingly, there was no response, although the ground-bridge opened up immediately to his left. Transforming, Breakdown stood and suspiciously watched the shimmering portal. Usually the Eradicon's would respond, saying "Request: acknowledged," or something like that. With no response and yet a portal that followed, Breakdown was more than a little on edge.

Suddenly, two purple tentacles snaked out of the ground-bridge, wrapping around the large blue mech and pulling him forward, against his will, his peds dragging in the dirt as he struggled. Only when his processor caught up with him did he realize that he only knew one mech with tentacles, purple ones at that, but by that time he was already on the ship, face to visor with none other than Soundwave.

"What was that about?" Breakdown asked, shaking off the slithering tentacles. He didn't expect a response, exactly though, so he went to move past Soundwave before he was stopped, a long sharp digit pressing against his chest. Turning back around, Breakdown faced his superior with a respectful yet questioning and slightly suspicious gaze.

Glyphs began to flash across Soundwave's screen, the TIC "talking" to Breakdown for the first time.

(Inquiry: Want to know where Knock Out is?)

Breakdown stepped forward, eager for information on the mech he hadn't seen since everything fell apart.

(Suggestion: observe.) Soundwave stepped back, gesturing to the hall they were standing in.

Breakdown stood back, looking around the hallway. His mental map of the _Nemesis_ provided that he was in the hall leading to Soundwave's quarters. The medical bay was down this hall and to the left, while if you continued straight down this hall you would end up next to the doors to the bridge. Which is where Breakdown should have landed, and not in the middle of the hallway here. Was Knock Out in the medbay? Unlikely; he wouldn't have known that Starscream had left the ship with Breakdown, and he seemed pretty intent on not coming back to the medbay after his accidental verbal vomit. And this _was_the direction that Knock Out had ran towards...

"So I'm near your quarters...may I ask why?" Breakdown summarized, hoping to get a straightforward answer. Dealing with Starscream's treachery and then surprising revelation had left Breakdown a little short tempered, though not enough to forget who he was dealing with.

(Breakdown: Correct. Near Soundwave's quarters. Knock Out: In Soundwave's quarters.)

All Breakdown could feel was numbness. Out of all the mecha on this ship, Knock Out ran to _Soundwave?_

(Elaboration: Soundwave found Knock Out. Soundwave: prevented further attack from Starscream. Explanation: Soundwave knows of Starscream's acts. Soundwave: repulsed. Action: required. For betterment of Decepticon cause.)

A clawed tentacle slipped out and tapped against Breakdown's subspace on his thigh, where the Immobilizer was contained. Flinching away from the strange contact, Breakdown warily watched the limb, expecting Soundwave to knock him offline, rip open his subspace, or worse, hack into his systems and control him like Laserbeak. He didn't expect Soundwave to wait, claws open, for..._something._An almost audible huff of air from Soundwave's vents hissed out in the air, as Breakdown's optic flickered between the prehensile death and blank, yet somehow annoyed, visor.

(Order: Give Immobilizer. Soundwave: Deliver to Lord Megatron. Give alibi for Breakdown, Explanation for Starscream,) Soundwave explained, holding up a servo as Breakdown started to interrupt. (Breakdown: Get full credit for successful mission. Catch: Solve problem with Knock Out.)

Breakdown opened his subspace, taking out the Immoblizer and placing it in the offered claws. "What problem?"

(Soundwave: Tired of lying to Lord Megatron. Tiring: covering for Medic and assistant. Suggestion: Solve issues before hospitality runs short.)

Not one to test Soundwave's sudden graciousness in allowing Knock Out to stay in his quarters, Breakdown agreed. But one last thing was bothering him.

"Why?"

(Clarification.)

"Why help us? Why bother keeping Knock Out safe while I was gone, and keep him in your quarters?" Breakdown explained.

(Soundwave: Already stated motives. Good for Decepticon cause. Scenario: Only Medic, only capable frontliner stop cooperating. Work moral decreases. Not proficient. Failure. Soundwave: Prevent from happening at all costs. Motive: Singular. Suggestion: Fix now.) Soundwave paused in his explanation, seemingly to finally notice the dried energon on the sharpened end of the device. Wordlessly, he gestured for Breakdown to explain.

"Starscream turned on me. I used that as a weapon. Not the immobilizing part; just the sharpened end." Breakdown, now knowing that Knock Out was less than 20 ft from him, wanted nothing more than the current conversation to end. Soundwave seemed to read the mech's anxiety in front of him, and jerked his helm towards the door. Immediately after, the silent purple mech walked down the hallway, Immobilizer in hand, not once looking back.

Breakdown, meanwhile, turned and walked towards the quarters door. A quick memory search revealed that Soundwave had Laserbeak with him, which meant that there would only be second hand security feeds from the basic cameras in the room. And, knowing Soundwave, they had been tampered with so that Megatron only saw what Soundwave wanted him to see.

Somehow, that comforted Breakdown, and with a deep invent, he stepped into the quarters.

* * *

><p>Walking into the quarters, the large mech observed his surroundings. Pretty sparsely filled, like most of their quarters, and it suited the mech that lived there. But what drew him in further was the red mech recharging in the sofa. His brow was furrowed in the most adorable of ways, his steady invents the only sign of life from his deep sleep.<p>

Until he started fidgeting, murmuring in his recharge, sounding agitated and scared. "Stop...no, no _DON'T_...Starscream, _please stop_!" Breakdown had to resist with every fiber in his being the urge to hold Knock Out close, either to calm him down and put him back to sleep, or, should he awake, let him know that everything was okay and comfort him with his closeness. They needed to talk before any more moments like that could be had, regardless of how badly Breakdown wanted them. He didn't want to make things worse.

"Please!"

_Don't go over there..._

"_No_ STOP, Primus, _stop!"_

_Keep yourself here..._

"_Starscream, stop..._Breakdown, where are you?"

Breakdown paused upon hearing his name wrenched from Knock Out's vocalizer. The red medic was crying, tears making their way down the porcelain white faceplates. The larger mech could feel his own tears begging to be released, but he kept himself where he was, as much as it hurt.

The pain, the misery, the sheer _terror _in Knock Out's voice...but there was more.

"Breakdown...I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...don't leave, I'm sorry..._please don't go I'M SORRY!_"

_That's it. _Breakdown picked Knock Out up, off of the couch, ignoring the twinges of pain in his servo, and cradled him close.

"Shh...it's okay, Knock Out, it's okay. I'm here, it's okay, don't cry, shush, you're fine, you're okay, calm down, it's fine," Breakdown whispered, holding the shivering medic close. Though it had only been a few hours, the emotional circumstances regarding the separation had made the time seem like it had been lunar-cycles. It had been too long since he had held his lover in his arms, felt the smooth plating below his finger tips, the unique blend of fine wax, polish, medical sterilizer, and something earthy, something uniquely _Knock Out_surrounding him. The calm only lasted for so long.

With a startled gasp, Knock Out opened his optics, shining ruby iris's locking onto Breakdown's golden optic. The larger mech continued to hold Knock Out close, watching for anymore haunting nightmares in his gaze. Instinct took over as Breakdown tipped Knock Out's helm back, going in for a kiss. He should have thought to hold onto Knock Out tighter, as, once again, he was met with air. The red medic had rolled out of his grasp, and was now standing on the other side of the room, back to the wall, though slightly leaning on the wall.

"So that's it? I can't even hold you without you running off again? I thought that we had moved past this," Breakdown murmured, more to himself, than Knock Out.

But that didn't stop the smaller mech from retorting, "And what was _that_?"

Shocked and more than slightly confused, Breakdown looked up. "What was what?"

"That...what you just did...you know what, stop, because that's just making it harder on me."

"Making _what_harder on you?" At this point, Breakdown was truly lost, though he remained sitting on the couch. Something told him that getting up wouldn't be the best idea in this situation, especially with Knock Out as skittish as he was.

The red medic stared brokenly into Breakdown's gaze as he whispered, "Goodbye? That we're over, done with, finished?"

Dread added to the potent mix of emotions in Breakdown's spark. After all this, Knock Out wanted to call it quits? _Why would he do that? I thought that...wait; okay, put yourself in Knock Out's place. What would I be feeling, if I had just told my entire past, something that I never thought that I would do, to a mech that I feel strongly for. I'm used to hurt throughout my whole life, and eventually I would be the one that wants to have some control over a situation. To hurt someone before _they_ can hurt _me_...hey.._

"Knock Out," the medic in question looked up, angling his body away from the frontliner in a protective stance. "I'm not done with you." Breakdown was going for soothing, but he was aware that the words could easily be misconstrued; and they were.

Knock Out curled in on himself, left servo immediately going to his subspace pocket where Breakdown knew his electric prod was stored. But that was just for show. While it was true that Knock Out preferred the finesse and elegance of his prod, he also had basic long-range weapons installed in his shoulders and wrists, something that Breakdown only forgot once when they went sparring. You only make the mistake of forgetting a hidden blaster once before it makes a lasting impression.

"No, Knock Out...that's not what I meant. What I meant was that I'm not saying goodbye, that we're over, done with, finished. I'm not. I still want to stay with you and I want to help you. And, if I'm being completely honest, _love_you." Breakdown watched as Knock Out slowly faced the seated mech, wariness haunting his optics. It hurt to see the one he loved so suspicious and vulnerable, but Knock Out need to know that Breakdown didn't judge him for his past.

"But it hurts, Knock Out. It hurts to know that you don't trust me not to leave, not to hurt you, and not to treat you with the respect that you deserve. _I'm _sorry that I didn't convey this clearly enough; I'm not leaving unless you want me gone," Breakdown finished, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, servos relaxed. He hoped that his relaxed stance would encourage Knock Out to do the same. Slowly, Knock Out walked closer, until the only thing separating them was the side table; physically, at least.

"Breakdown," Knock Out began. "H-how can you not judge me? After everything that you know, how could you think that I'm still worthy of things like _respect, a relationship, and love_?" At the end of his sentence he was whispering, but Breakdown could see that he wasn't finished.

"Everything that I told you was true, obviously. I don't remember most of the things that happened to me; it all started to become a blur after a while. Just one attack after another. I eventually escaped, and found a little clinic to get some medical training. I wasn't always Knock Out; I actually didn't always look like this either. I was a black and silver grounded-flyer, and I went by the name of Hubris. The only way to escape was to change my name, frame type, and basically everything about me. They could track me with any bit of information I had."

Breakdown wanted to ask questions, to interrupt and get more information. But this was the first time that he was hearing this, and the first time that Knock Out was talking about his history in a calm and informed way. So he stayed quiet, listening intently and watching as the ruby red optics studied the floor.

"I became a medic so I could delete the records. I thought that I was done with my old life, but they haunted me. The memories, I mean. Eventually they gained a voice, which has been haunting me for stellar-cycles. But...being around you helped. The ones who told me I was unwanted, worthless, and useless eventually disappeared, but some still remained. They were basically memories with a voice, controlling everything that I do...sometimes literally." Knock Out broke off here, optics flicking up to briefly meet his gaze before he continued to stare at the floor. Breakdown wanted to reach out to Knock Out, hold him close and tell him not to rush, but something told him that he was close to the end. Just a few more minutes and he would know everything.

"You...you remember when you said you loved me, and afterwards we...well, do you remember?" Knock Out glanced up, waiting for a recognition from Breakdown. Slowly, Breakdown nodded.

"Right, well...th-that wasn't exactly _all_my doing...I still wanted it, and I wanted to be with you, but it was not me who made the decision to keep going," Knock Out began, before Breakdown couldn't help himself and interrupted.

"What do you mean? You say that you wanted it but..."

Knock Out sighed before looking at Breakdown's servos. _Better than the floor_, Breakdown thought. _But he's still not really looking at me..._

"When I was a...pleasure bot, I had to undergo a standard surgery. A spark operation." Breakdown couldn't help the sharp intake of breath at that statement. Spark operations were risky business, and very rarely done properly on mecha destined for pleasure-bots, pet-bots, or service drone functions. Knock Out didn't look up from Breakdown's servos, but waited for a question from the larger mech. Instead, Breakdown gave the "go on" motion with his servo. Taking the order, the red medic continued his tale of woe.

"They implanted a subroutine to change my wants and desires; the only thing that was important to me was giving my partner the ultimate satisfaction. All pleasure models are this way, which is why they seem like they have no will of their own as long as there is interfacing at the end. They are just assuming what their master wants, and then try to fulfill their fantasy. I had thought that mine was destroyed when I changed frame types...but apparently it was not. It still exists, and the voices use that every chance they can to try to frag things up for me. The way that the spark has been changed meant that the subroutine became merged with other subroutines essential to my personality, to my very being. If I deleted it, then there is a risk of harm or deletion of the other subroutines. I looked up ways to fix it, and there is only one known solution."

Here, Knock Out stopped talking, finally looking into Breakdown's gaze. Breakdown could see the hurt and the fear, but he was relieved that the suspicion was gone; that was what hurt the most. It was quiet between the two mechs for a long moment, just watching each other, both yearning for something that they believed they couldn't have. Eventually, Breakdown had to speak.

"What was the solution, Knock Out?" Another sparkbeat of silence before Knock Out whispered his response, barely loud enough for Breakdown to hear.

"A spark-bond."

Breakdown thought this through for a minute. Medically, it made sense. Integrated within the personality, the subroutine would leave the mech's spark with the possibility of a bond. But what would the effect be on the mech he was bonding to? _What does it matter? I'm here, and I'm willing to do anything to make him feel better_, _consequences be damned. _

"I'll do it." Knock Out looked up, startled at the response.

"What? But I don't know the side effects that it could cause; I don't know if it would take control, or if it would just dissipate, or if it could _kill_you. Breakdown," Knock Out stepped around the table, sitting down on the couch next to Breakdown. Close enough to just be friends, but shifted ever so slightly enough towards Breakdown to let their fields meld together. Turning to watch the medic, Breakdown made optic contact as he repeated his offer.

"I said I'll do it. Knock Out, I love you, and I would do anything to make you happy."

"Y-you would do that? After knowing all this stuff about me, how much I have gone through, how tainted I am, you are willing to become my _bondmate?"_ Knock Out's optics widened as he said the last word, as if the implications of the act had just made themselves known. Breakdown slid closer to Knock Out, before reaching over to tip up the medic's helm, gazing lovingly into his optics as he nodded. "You would tie yourself to me _forever_, just to make sure that I was happy and felt better?" the red medic murmured.

"Of course I have to make you feel better; _you are my world_. I adore you, babe," Breakdown whispered back. The blue mech suddenly found himself with a lap full of Knock Out, who's mouth was melded to his own. The desperation, the sheer _want_, and the love; all of the love, poured forth in the kiss. It was frenzied, it was rushed, it was everything that they never knew they needed.

Suddenly Knock Out was straddling Breakdown's lap, his knees on either side of the larger mechs thighs, as he pushed him against the couch back. Getting caught up in the moment, Breakdown lifted his servos running them down the lights in the small of the red mech's back. A low moan from Knock Out echoed in his mouth, and then the kiss calmed. Questions, answers, apologies, and acceptance went back and forth in the movement of their lips. Breakdown gently nicked at Knock Out's lower lip, asking for entrance. With a sigh, Knock Out allowed Breakdown in, their glossas dueling briefly before taking the time to taste the other.

A few minutes later, Knock Out pulled back, keeping his forehelm against Breakdown's. "You do realize that we just made out on Soundwave's couch, right?" Breakdown stood, keeping Knock Out in his arms as the words struck home.

"Oh my Primus, he's gonna kill us," Breakdown said, lightly placing Knock Out down on his peds on the ground. A sound that Breakdown hadn't heard for a long time filled the air, honest and free. Knock Out laughed. "Hahaha...no, no there's a reason why Soundwave let us talk in here. He can just delete the video or play a loop of an empty room so that no one else sees. But yeah, he probably will know. Not that I think he'll kill us..." Knock Out tapered off, but the light from laughing was still in his optics.

Until he looked down and saw the energon streaked across his forearm plating. "What the..." he murmured, quickly inspecting to see if he was injured. When the results were negative, he turned his attention to Breakdown. After a few minutes of poking, prodding, and "Stop moving," "But it's a reflex!", the medic finally got to the slice across Breakdown's palm. Mentally Breakdown groaned. It _still_hadn't stopped? He needed more fuel than he thought...

"When was the last time you ate anything? Or got a full night of recharge?" Knock Out questioned, holding the injured servo delicately in his hands.

"Umm...about 2 solar-cycles ago would be...both, actually. I haven't been getting much sleep lately, and tonight's mission would make it about 3 solar-cycles without recharging," Breakdown replied. When Knock Out got like this, he was worse than a mother hen; not that he had ever been on the receiving end of his mother's positive attention, but he had seen what Bulkhead had been subjected to, and he never wanted it to happen to him. Apparently, his lover didn't feel the same way.

"Breakdown you are going to march yourself to the medbay and eat something right this minute, I don't care how much you drag your peds, doctors orders. And then, while you are drinking that, I'm gonna weld this back together," motioning back to Breakdown's hand. The slim medic reached up and grabbed Breakdown's chin, forcing him to look into Knock Out's concerned gaze, optic to optic. Unfortunately, the light reflected off of the three thin lines on his cheek plating, which were also still bleeding. Sighing, Knock Out tapped the side of Breakdown's helm, saying "And apparently here too. Understand?"

Breakdown put a servo behind Knock Out's helm, bowing the slimmer mech until he could reach his crest, kissing the helm fin gently. "Yes, I understand. Let's go."

The duo walked out of the TIC's quarters, toward the medbay. The hallways were surprisingly bare, and they reached the medbay pretty fast. Breakdown obediently went to sit on the berth, grabbing a cube of medical grade energon on the way. The room was quiet, save for Breakdown slurping down the energon, and Knock Out welding the cuts together. Finally, the tasks were done, the welds setting on Breakdown's servo and cheek.

Breakdown stood off the berth, walking towards their quarter's door, with Knock Out at his side. The larger mech wasted no time collapsing on his berth with a satisfied groan. Splayed out on his back, Breakdown looked up at Knock Out, who was crouching on his knees next to him.

"C-can I...recharge here?" Knock Out mumbled, optics downcast. In response, Breakdown picked the medic up, and rolled over on his side, tucking Knock Out against his chassis. Even though they were going into the morning and this would inevitably just make them more tired than before, military procedure meant that they had to be up in a few hours anyways, and their sleep schedule would just fall back into its normal pattern after a while.

Pressing a kiss to the back of Knock Out's helm, Breakdown whispered, "We'll figure this out, don't worry. I love you Knock Out."

What he didn't expect was the red medic to roll over in his arms, and reply, "Thank you. And...I love you too Breakdown." A smoldering yet chaste kiss ensued before Knock Out pulled away tucking his face into Breakdown's neck, breathing in the unique scent of the larger mech. Happiness warred with exhaustion before they came to a compromise, Breakdown falling into recharge with a smile on his face.

* * *

><p>"Ow, that hurts, slaggit!" Starscream yelled as the femme perched over him continued cleaning the welds. She hissed, dragging the cloth purposely a little rougher against the writhing frame below her.<p>

"Would you rather have me let you die? You were the one that agreed to this; now hold still," she ordered, before going back to cleaning out the wounds and stitching them with a basic solder.

It was true. When Arachnid had approached Starscream, he had been desperate for help, lying in a pool of his own energon, exposed circuitry crackling. He was desperate for someone to help him, and she had been the first to arrive. But of course, this came with a price. In exchange for his life, she wanted information; everything that he had on the Decepticon cause. Future plans, schematics, weak spots in officer's personalities and fighting styles. Including his own.

Had he refused, she would have jacked into his systems using an old medical override to shut down his firewalls, and ciphered the information out, letting him die in the process. It made no difference to her, but sometimes having someone alive and telling their story meant they could help with future raids.

Starscream didn't know what Arachnid was planning, nor was he sure that he wanted a part of it. But maybe this femme could compliment his yearning to see Megatron crash and burn, to see his own rise to power. Finally, she stepped back, throwing the cloth down on the ground, before crossing her arms and looking at Starscream expectantly.

"Well?"

There would be no lying to get himself out of this one. And no going back to Megatron once the damage was done.

* * *

><p>So, there you have it! The 15th chapter of Reach Out, and here it is! I hope that you guys enjoyed the chapter!<p>

Well, lots of drama! YAY, KO FINALLY SAID THE WORDS TO BREAKDOWN! But what will happen next? And what is Arachnid going to do with Starscream's information? Starscream himself?

Please review guys! I'm so sorry for the long wait, but I hope this chapter makes up for it!

3 Huntress


	17. Saved by the Drones

Weh chapter fail. So sorry it took so long. But, hopefully this makes up for it.

**Warnings: **Gets a little sexy at the end there, watch out if that makes you squick.

* * *

><p>Knock Out rolled over, stretching slightly in Breakdown's grasp. The big blue bruiser was still in recharge, though his arms stayed wrapped firmly around the red medic's waist. <em>I did it. I told him that I love him. I finally said it. And…he accepted me. My past, my mistakes; he knows. And he's still here.<em>

A bubble of happiness swelled in his spark, pushing the doubt away. _He knows and he __**loves me. **_Stretching upwards, he pressed a kiss to Breakdown's jaw. A subtle tightness in the arms around him marked the beginning of Breakdown's waking sequence.

"Good morning, Love," Knock Out murmured, softly running his servo over Breakdown's shoulder guards. A low hum from his lover, and Breakdown responded, his voice lower than usual with morning grogginess.

"Mornin to you too, babe," the bruiser replied, pressing a kiss to Knock Out's helm fin. "How did you recharge?"

The red medic pulled himself closer to his love, sliding one leg through Breakdown's thighs. Though sexual in nature, it was not so in intent; only yearning to be closer to the blue frame that offered protection, safety, and love. "Well, thank you. And you?"

"Self-repair is back to normal, I got enough sleep, Doc." The Aston Martin nodded, relaxing further. Breakdown's injuries had already been tended to the night before, but it was nice to know that any injuries his lover sustained would be taken care of. Speaking of injuries…

"Breakdown? What…what happened to Starscream? Where is he?" he hesitantly asked, wanting to know what had happened to his attacker. He hadn't seen the mech since he ran away from Breakdown after revealing everything.

He sighed, rolling over Knock Out, bracing himself on his forearms as he leaned over the medic. Knock Out looked up into his optics, watching gaze. The change in position slightly unnerved Knock Out, but he trusted Breakdown with his life.

"Starscream is gone, as far as I know. Lord Megatron assigned us together to go scouting for the Immobilizer, and that little glitch tried to betray me. I left him for dead after that. Arachnid was nearby, and I left him scrapped on the ground. If she found him, he's most likely dead," Breakdown explained, watching Knock Out's reaction.

His red optics widened, searching Breakdown's golden one for confirmation that this was the truth. "So your injuries were caused by…him?" Knock Out asked, a whisper the best he could manage. That seeker just kept hurting them.

"Hey, remember what I said. He's probably gone, okay?" the bruiser continued, trying to calm Knock Out.

With an uncertain whine, he reached up to Breakdown's face, cradling his left jaw. His thumb ran soothing swipes across his cheek strut as he pulled him down for a kiss. Chaste and soft, it didn't last long before Breakdown pulled away in favor of nuzzling his medic.

Knock Out sighed softly, reminding himself that what mattered the most was that Breakdown was safe. A soft smile graced his faceplates as he thought of what he still had. Returning the soft caresses, he gasped slightly when Breakdown kissed his neck stripes. Slightly stretching his helm back, he gently massaged his servo along Breakdown's shoulder guards. The kisses stayed chaste, eventually making their way back up to his mouth. Opening his mouth into the kiss, the medic allowed Breakdown to take control, tasting his lover once more.

One of the bruiser's servos traced Knock Out's side, massaging the grill from his altmode. Knock Out hummed into the kiss, arching his back slightly into the sensations. A soft purr made its way out of his throat, making his lover smile. There was no sense of urgency in their movements, nothing forcing them to go farther. Part of Knock Out wanted to take that next step, to feel connected to Breakdown in the best of ways. But a larger part wasn't quite ready.

Bringing his servo to the back of Breakdown's neck, he gently pulls him away. Panting with flushed faceplates, the medic looks into Breakdown's gaze, his engine rumbling softly. "Too fast?" Breakdown questioned.

Knock Out shook his helm immediately, before stopping to actually think about it. "Y-yeah, actually…a bit," he admitted, blushing at the end. "I want this, I do, I just…"

"No, I get it. It's fine, babe," Breakdown soothed, pressing a kiss to his lover's forehead.

"I'm just glad that Starscream is gone. I don't think I would have been able to handle seeing him anymore," Knock Out admitted, shuddering slightly in fear. When his lover tightened his grip on the mech, he chirred softly, leaning up against his chest.

"You have nothing to worry about. Something tells me that the crazy spider glitch took care of him," Breakdown soothed.

The duo lingered in their berth for a while longer, kissing every once in a while, but mostly enjoying each other's company. They would have stayed like that all solar-cycle had Breakdown not spaced out for a moment, Knock Out following soon after.

::**Active duty; 3 joors.**:: the comm buzzed, the recording reminder of their positions in the military. Medic and assistant, needed at all times. Sighing, they faded back into reality, neither of them wanting to move, but by virtue of wanting to stay alive, having to.

Breakdown moved first, unstraddling Knock Out and pushing himself upright. The medic remained lying on the berth, prolonging their time in bliss. And, a bit of fear. Breakdown and Starscream were on a mission together, and the seeker hadn't returned. Who knew how Lord Megatron would react to his disappearance?

Breakdown caught on to his nervousness, and smiled encouragingly. "Soundwave said that he'd give us a suitable alibi, or explanation for Starscream's disappearance. Master won't question it, we won't even be mentioned. Well… I might be considering that I was on the mission with him, but other than that we are in the clear, as long as we do our jobs normally, okay?"

Knock Out sat up in shock. "Soundwave? Why Soundwave?" he questioned as he stood out of the berth, waiting for Breakdown's answer.

"I don't know, just a deal we made. It was how I got to see you…" he responded, voice lower for the second sentence.

Smiling softly, Knock Out walked over to his lover. "Breakdown, if you really wanted to, I know you could have destroyed the doors to Soundwave's quarters to get to me. But," he spoke quickly, cutting off Breakdown's next words. "But, it's the thought that counts. I...love you." The words were still strange to say. Knock Out had never pictured himself ever saying those words to someone and actually meaning them, not just charisma and false bravado, but actually meaning it in an intimate setting. It set his spark alight with happiness at the thought.

"I love you too, Knock Out," Breakdown replied, standing and kissing the back of Knock Out's servo in a gentlemechly fashion. They stretched in accidental unison, laughing once they caught each other's gaze. Then they left their quarters to start the day.

* * *

><p>Knock Out collapsed on the berth, holding his servos above his frame. Not touching anything, just letting them sit wearily in the air. Breakdown collapsed next to him, one knee bent, the other leg straight, stiffly so.<p>

It had been a rough day. Despite the relaxing and calming start, the work cycle remained in direct contrast. Right away the drones flooded the medbay, injured from idiotic Vehicon games of "who-can-go-the-fastest-without-being-caught." Banking sharply in hallways while driving in a circuit ended with several car crashes, resulted in about thirty Vehicons and even one Eradicon dragging themselves into the medbay for repairs. Then, while the majority of the repairs were finished, the Vehicons suddenly decided that it would be a good idea to vacate the premesis. Even the one that Breakdown was still assisting made some hasty excuse and hobbled away.

Like minnows in the sea, when a shark comes by, they fled. In this case, it was two sharks; Soundwave and Megatron. Knock Out paused from cataloguing the damages done to the drones, and instead focused on the conversation going on behind him.

"L-lord Megatron," Breakdown said, kneeling sharply for his Master. A bit too sharply, however, as his knee hit the ground with a dull thud, cracking the armor there.

"Breakdown, Soundwave has told me of the results of your most recent mission with Starscream. Care to explain yourself?" the tyrant rumbled, watching his subordinate on the ground.

"Yes, Master. Starscream and I had located the second half of the Harbinger, and successfully gotten the Immobilizer. When we left the ship, Starscream turned on me, trying to take the Immobilizer for himself. I retaliated in self-defense, and left with the Immobilizer. I do not know for certain what happened after I left, but I do know that the rogue femme from before was there. Arachnid," the bruiser continued.

Megatron listened to the story with a blank look on his faceplates, until Breakdown mentioned Arachnid. Wordlessly, he turned to his TIC. "Soundwave, is this true? You neglected to inform me that Arachnid had made a re-appearance. Unless….Breakdown is lying," he growled, looking down at the kneeling frontliner.

Knock Out froze, thinking that his lover had broken the alibi that Soundwave had so carefully constructed. The red medic was unable to help him by using his own smooth vernacular; he wasn't supposed to even know about the mission. And playing dumb wouldn't help his case either. Stuck between a rock and a hardplace, Knock Out felt his imagination going into overdrive.

Would Breakdown be punished because of this? He had already "failed" Megatron, would this be the final straw that cost him…everything? The possible images and endings of this confrontation swirled in his mind. _If I lose him, this is the end of it all. I can't afford to lose him. _

The medic shook slightly, not enough for Breakdown and Megatron to notice. But Soundwave did. The silent purpled mech walked over to the console where Knock Out stood, under the guise of checking the data in the system. One tentacle snaked over, jacking into the console. A small message appeared on the side screen, only visible to Knock Out. The way that Soundwave stood behind the medic blocked the message from Megatron and Breakdown's view, though the tyrant was more focused on the half sputtered replies from the still kneeling medical assistant.

(Breakdown: will be fine. Knock Out: should focus more on drones.) printed itself on the screen in purple glyphs before disappearing, along with the tentacle. Knock Out turned to Soundwave, mouthing the words, "What drones?"

Right on cue, a whole new wave of drones, these from a mining accident, dragged themselves into the med bay. "There are officers present, can't you lot come back-"Knock Out began before he noticed two Vehicons carrying a third between them. His arms were dented badly and his neck joints were sparking madly.

Knock Out turned to Megatron, unsure what to do. Help the drones and fulfill his role as medical officer, or kick the drones out so his Lord could finish his conversation with Breakdown? What should he do?

"Hmm…saved by the drones," the silver tyrant muttered as he turned to face them. "What is the meaning of this? Explain yourselves."

A silver drone stepped up, one of the few with the least amount of damage. "Cave collapse, Lord Megatron. We're not sure what caused it, but it sounded like one of the drills malfunctioned. Only the sound of something drilling through an unstable wall and the whole mine collapsed. Section 24-A3."

The lord growled, walking out of the medbay, throwing his final response over his shoulder. "Consider yourself saved, Breakdown. Soundwave; focus on locating that spider." The spy plane followed out, giving no indication of what had transpired between him and Knock Out.

It took about four seconds for Knock Out to fall back into his role as CMO, taking the worst injured and sending those with patch jobs to Breakdown, who stood out of his kneel to care for them. It didn't escape Knock Out's notice that his assistant favored his dented knee.

The duo worked joors after the medbay should have closed. Only a few drones would require overnight stay, the rest would be fine within 2-3 solar-cycles. With an exhausted sigh, medic and assistant made their way back to their quarters, collapsing into berth. Right where they were now.

"…sometimes I hate this job," he muttered, breaking the silence. With a soft groan he let his hands collapse on his abdomen, wincing as the soreness flared up again. Surgery, and not the fun disassembly kind, done over 50 times in one day was killer on the servos.

Breakdown grunted in response, still favoring his leg. "I know…"

Knock Out turned his helm to face Breakdown, who was still looking at the ceiling of their quarters. "I thought that Lord Megatron was going to scrap you…" he admitted quietly, still uncomfortable showing weakness around his lover.

He watched as the recognition washed over Breakdown's faceplates, the slow burn of the truth settling in on his spark. This was war, that was Megatron, and in all probability he could have lost Breakdown. For good. Rolling closer to Breakdown, he didn't hear what comforting words the bruiser murmured, as recharge was calling for him. In a last minute check-up to make sure that his knee wouldn't bother him in the night, Knock Out tapped Breakdown's thigh, just above the broken knee. A soft shushing sound was his response, probably some more words about how he would be fine and make it through the night. The medic sighed, allowing the comfort of his lover's arms around him to lull him to recharge. Soon after, Breakdown followed.

* * *

><p>Two solar-cycles after Megatron's guest appearance in the med bay, Knock Out and Breakdown found themselves with next to nothing to do. The supplies were updated, the drones had kept themselves out of trouble, and Soundwave was still working on tracking down Arachnid. All in all, nothing was going on. And given all that had happened in the past megacycle, it was probably for the best.<p>

Now that Breakdown knew the truth about Knock Out's past, he didn't bother keeping his research a secret anymore. Displayed on the console were several theories (from both Knock Out and other sources) regarding how bonding could work. What would be transferred, any problems that could arise, the effects of the transfer of the subroutine that still plagued Knock Out, all spread across the screens in the room. Some on data pads, some on the console, but every available surface was covered in writings about bonding.

The fact that he was going to be bonded to Breakdown was a nerve-wracking prospect. _What if he sees something and regrets it? What if he doesn't want to, and I'm forcing him into it? What if he really doesn't care and is just using me? Would it be painful if the bond broke? _

These thoughts haunted the medic daily, but Breakdown was pretty good at keeping the thoughts from becoming too much of a problem. Loving touches, gentle kisses, and even just a soft "I love you" whispered in the medic's audio helped to push the doubt away. Together they educated themselves on the mechanics of it; but when it came down to it, they would just have to do what they felt was right, in the moment.

Knock Out leaned back from his research with a sigh, running a cold servo down his face. Working at a desk for so long, typing and writing, his fingers eventually got colder and colder, the shock like ice. Warm arms wrapped around his shoulders, large silver servos covering his own slender ones. "You tired, Babe?" Breakdown hummed, slowly massaging his servos, bringing the warmth back.

"Hm…not physically tired, more of mentally," the medic replied, leaning into Breakdown's embrace. "We're basically done here, can we head back?"

"Sure we can." Knock Out felt himself pulled off of his chair, cradled in Breakdown's arms as the bigger mech carried him back to their quarters. Knock Out blushed when he was put down on the berth, stretching out softly. Breakdown remained standing, though his servo rested on his medic's servo.

Knock Out reached upwards, pulling Breakdown towards him for a soft kiss. Eventually, Knock Out picked up the pace of the kiss, for the first time, sitting up slightly to get more pressure. Breakdown straddled the medic, his good knee bent on the berth, his other leg still straight on the floor, supporting him.

Breakdown deepened the kiss, keeping care not to go too fast. Knock Out had other ideas though, bringing one servo up to tease the sensitive cat ears on the top of his lovers helm. A low moan from Breakdown told him that he was doing something correctly, though the bigger mech did pull away.

"Knock Out, what are you doing?" he questioned, looking down at the red mech with concern. Was the subroutine in control again?

The medic shook his head. "No, it's not the subroutine. I...I think I'm ready," he said, watching Breakdown carefully for his reaction. As expected, he blanched slightly. Not that he was opposed to the idea, rather genuine care for his partner made him question it.

"Love...if you want to do something like that...I'd rather wait."

Embarrassment tore at Knock Out's spark, making him blush and look down. _This is what I get for putting myself out there. Oh Primus, why did I do that. _Yet similar to all the times before this, Breakdown knew seemingly knew exactly what to do. The soft, wet sensation of a glossa against his helm fin made Knock Out look up at Breakdown questioningly, before a whimper for more escaped him. Closing his optics, the red mech let the sensations come to him, overwhelming him.

"Doesn't mean I won't pleasure you," Breakdown continued, running a servo along his lover's axel joint. "Primus, you're so gorgeous. How did I get so lucky? Hmm...doesn't matter. Tonight, it's all about you, babe. I want nothing in return, understand?"

While a large part of Knock Out simply couldn't accept that he wouldn't have to give as good as he got, he nodded anyways. He would try to just let his partner take control tonight. "O-okay," he managed, whimpering at the teasing touch on his joint.

"Open up then," Breakdown teased.

With a whine, Knock Out opens his panel, his half pressurized spike and semi-lubricated valve baring themselves. One of Breakdown's servo's traces his grill, teasing him lightly. Knock Out pulls Breakdown towards him for a kiss, opening his mouth and letting Breakdown's glossa play with his own. Slowly his spike began to fully pressurize, his valve getting wetter.

Sneaking one servo down between his thighs, Knock Out attempted to touch himself, bringing extra stimulation to his frame. Only Breakdown gently pushing his servo away from his components made him break away from the kiss. "B-Breakdown..."

"No, I promised to take care of you. That's exactly what I'm going to do." His tone left no room for argument. Kissing down his lover's frame, he nuzzled the red and white spike, snaking out his glossa to lick the heated metal. Knock Out gasped, arching upwards. He didn't expect Breakdown to do this! But...that didn't mean he didn't like it.

Letting Breakdown take his spike into his mouth, he moaned quietly, feeling the hot suction around his spike. "MMmm...y-yeah..." he breathlessly encouraged, rolling his helm to the side. It was a nice leisurely pace, until Breakdown hummed. The vibrations made Knock Out whimper, begging. "B-Breakdown...please...c-close.."

The larger mech merely hummed again, taking Knock Out down his throat. It surprisingly wasn't uncomfortable or awkward. Different, yes, but the size difference helped not to overwhelm the bruiser. Pulling back, he began bobbing his helm, before Knock Out overloaded with a groan.

Release coursed through his frame, panting as he relaxed into the berth. Breakdown pulled off his spike, lovingly cleaning the metal. Pressing a kiss to Knock Out's neck, he laid down beside the medic, keeping care not to stress his knee.

The red medic latched on to his partners frame, kissing his jaw and chin. Sliding his panel closed, Knock Out looked up at Breakdown, silently begging him to let him repay him, to please him. Shaking his helm, Breakdown murmured, "No, Love. This was about you."

Knock Out felt himself picked up and pinned against his lover's front, a possessive servo laying across his abdomen. Still blissed out from the overload, Knock Out went along with it, falling into recharge with a content smile on his face.

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><p>I apologize if that chapter wasn't quite up to snuff. I wanted to get this chapter out before I got hit with all the tests and stuff I owe next week, and this is the best i could come up with. Please leave a review, and have a safe and happy holidays you guys!<p>

3 Huntress


	18. Bird and Spider

Wow, what is this another update in the same week? You must be dreaming! XD

There is a poll on my profile talking about chapter sizes for this story. Please check it out and vote because it really does matter, and will impact the rest of the story. I feel like I'm losing my audience, which is why I'm contemplating changing things up a bit. No warnings for this chapter, just enjoy!

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><p>Breakdown didn't get much sleep following his "gift" to Knock Out. The red medic was sound asleep in his arms, and that knowledge set some of his processor at ease. But the rest of the day's events did nothing to help his racing thoughts. First, Megatron's interrogation in the medical bay. He had trusted Soundwave to put any questions at ease, what was he supposed to do if he spoke out of turn? The moment he mentioned Arachnid, and Megatron doubted him, he knew that he was scrap metal.<p>

Only through bittersweet circumstances did he escape Megatron's wrath. The drones ended up paying for it, but final proof that Arachnid was still around had come to light. They hadn't lost any drones as a result of the attack, though that didn't stop Breakdown from feeling bad for the workers. They weren't mindless drones, they had sparks and personalities; just as much a Decepticon as any one of the officers.

Why go after a mine, though? Arachind was alone, and even if she had kept Starscream around, there was no way that the two of them were in need of more energon already. Granted, Starscream was heavily injured, but Arachnid must have had a ship around somewhere. How else would she have gotten to Earth?

The point was, Arachnid must have had something big planned, otherwise she wouldn't have attempted such a brash move, going straight into a Decepticon owned and operated mine. And if she had Starscream with her, then something big was planned.

Breakdown sighed. What could Arachnid need the energon for, and if Starscream was still alive, how much longer did they have in relative peace before the inevitable attack came?

For now, he had no answers. He would focus on keeping Knock Out safe and happy. Hopefully, this would all blow over without infringing on their wish of bonding. The frontliner tightened his hold on Knock Out, pressing a soft kiss to his helm. Recharge wouldn't come, for some reason. But sometimes a sleepless night was better than being plagued by nightmares.

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><p>The femme drilled back into the cave, her spider legs transforming out and landing on the cases with a small click. She walked over them, checking on their status. She was crept along the pods, watching for any abnormalities in the pods. That dumb seeker didn't know about her growing army, and she didn't intend for him to find out until necessary. Should he try to change sides, and manage to pass on information before she could catch him, she would be done for. Megatron would be expecting this. And the point was to catch him unaware.<p>

Until that time came, however, she had to allow Starscream to think that he was in charge. That's why she went to the mine in such an obvious manner. She has a plausible excuse for her "failure" before she even left for the mission; she was outnumbered.

As a predatory huntress, she only attacked if she knew that she would, in some way, be successful. A full frontal attack was the last thing on her list of possible techniques. She hardly ever used it, and she only did when there was no other way to protect herself. If Megatron was dumb enough to think that she had done that of her own free will, then it was for the best that she had left all those vorns ago.

Arachnid smirked, twisting off the wall and landing in the middle of the pods on the ground, her spider appendages transforming away onto her back. The slender femme walked out of that section of the cave, going to find aforementioned seeker. What he didn't know, was that by ordering her to attack a fully staffed Energon mine in the middle of broad daylight, he had essentially given away what had happened to him. That was assuming that that blue lug from before hadn't blabbed already.

The next section of the cave stored anything that she had managed to salvage from her ship. Spare parts, her console, and some basic weaponry. None of her trophies made it, however. She grated her denta at the mental reminder.

She schooled her expression, as Starscream was typing away at the console. "Results?" he asked, not bothering to turn around. She scowled, but answered the question regardless.

"Unsuccessful. I was outnumbered," she begins, but the screechy twig cuts her off before she could finish.

"You dare come back here without fuel!" he yells, pointing an accusing claw in her direction.

She glares at him. "YOU were the one who told me to go there in the middle of the solar cycle! You knew as well as I did that the mine would be fully protected, with drones everywhere. I did manage to cause a cave-in, though."

Starscream's optics widen in somewhat of panic. "WHAT?!"

Arachnid just stares at him. "I told you, I caused a cave-in. They won't be able to use the mine anymore, and several of the drones won't live to see the next few days."

The former SIC growls in frustration. "That was the only mine I could get to without mining equipment! It was wide open, and how to you expect me to get another mine? Wait for Megatron to just make another one?"

The black and purple femme spins around and kicks Starscream into a wall. Jumping on top of him, she holds out the two spider-legs above her shoulders that she used for disassembly. "I don't see you helping, all you're doing is yelling at me and telling me what to do. That plan was a foolish one, and you know it. Besides, if you bothered to search through my ships logs, you would find that there is an energon mine not 5 clicks due north of here."

She leans into his face, growling. "Don't make me regret saving you."

Starscream gulps, trying to back-track his way out of the situation. "I-I didn't mean it like that! Just that...i-it's very difficult to f-find a s-solid mine to t-take from."

The arms click closer to his throat. "I just gave you one. Go to it, and don't return until you have at least enough to make three cubes. By the time you return, the converter will be up and running. Don't. Waste my time," she spoke in a low, threatening voice. Stepping off the seeker, she walked to the energon converter, beginning to make the final adjustments. The smirk returns as she hears him scramble off.

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><p>Again, please check out that poll. Thanks so much, and please review!<p>

3 Huntress


	19. Promises

Yet another update, I am just on a roll! Oh, headcanon about energon consumption; they swirl it around in the cube to see how good it is, kind of how people do with wine. I wouldn't know, I don't drink wine. ^^; Not my favorite taste.

No warnings for this chapter, just more plot shots and some romance building.

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><p>Starscream growled as he walked back into the cave, arms full of energon crystals. How dare she tell him what he could and couldn't do! He was Starscream, Second in Command of the Decepticon forces, Air Commander of the Elite Trine, and definitely <strong><em>not <em>**her lackey!

When he entered the next room, Arachnid had left the converter powered up and waiting for energon, but the femme herself was nowhere to be found. That unnerved Starscream, but he kept his thoughts to himself. Didn't stop his wings from stiffening in anxiety, though.

Dropping the energon crystals on the table, he muttered, "Might as well see if this thing is fixed." When Arachnid had first brought the converter out of her ship's wreckage, Starscream had been apprehensive to trust that it was in fact, usable. After trying an experimental crystal, he found that his suspicion was correct. In the explosion, the converter had fried several wires, and when the crystal went through it, the resulting concoction was a slushy, neon blue mixture that reminded him of that disgusting snow he had heard the drones whining about. It was wet, cold, and slippery; nothing that he had any intention of ever meeting.

Selecting a small crystal, he put a cube under the spout, waiting as it transformed to liquid. The smooth sound of liquid energon splashing into the cube followed, making the seeker's tanks twist in hopefulness. He hadn't eaten since he had left the ship a few days ago, and with his injuries it was critical that he get some nourishment.

The cube finished filling, and he slightly shook the liquid, watching how it swirled around. Smiling slightly in appreciation, he took a sip, before promptly spitting it out. The taste wasn't at all what he was expecting.

There was something extra added, something heavier and denser; way denser than his frame was capable of handling. "What did that infernal femme do to this? " he growled, talking to himself as always. By the time his wings tell him that someone is behind him, it's too late to take back his words.

"That energon isn't meant for you," a voice behind him answers. Starscream stiffens, turning to face the femme.

"Who's it meant for then? _You_ surely can't be who was in mind," he retorts, watching her warily.

Arachnid snorts, walking forward and snatching the converter, and the energon crystals away. "I never said that it was for me; I just said that it wasn't for you," she answers, walking out of the cave.

All Starscream is left with is a half empty cube of energon that was useless for him to eat, more questions than answers, and a bad feeling in his tanks that had nothing to do with the energon.

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><p>The following morning, Knock Out awoke to Breakdown holding him, the blue bruiser lightly dozing. The red medic had a bad feeling that Breakdown hadn't slept the previous night.<p>

_What if it's because of what I did? Did I force him? Did I come off as a needy whore?_

**Of course you did, do you know any other way to act? **

It was too early to be having this fight with his inner demons. Yet...they didn't have the same effect as before. Probably because Breakdown now knew the truth, and Knock Out knew that he still loved him. Unconditionally.

Rolling over, Knock Out decides not to wake his partner. He extricates himself from his lover's arms, pressing a light kiss to his forehelm.

Walking out to the med-bay, the CMO misses the flash of gold from the berth he just left.

Once in front of the console, he opened up the documents from before. Passages upon passages of bonding information, annotated, highlighted, and marked appeared on the screen. He began to scroll through the pages, making sure that he knew exactly what he was getting into.

In a way, all of this was redundant. He had studied the spark, bonding, and other like subject while he was under First Aid's apprenticeship. He already knew all of this.

Maybe he was going through the research for Breakdown's benefit. Maybe he was going through the procedure to refresh his memory. ...Maybe he was going through the research, to quiet his own fears.

While it rarely happened, bondings had the ability to go completely awry. Especially when dealing with a part of the body that was so fragile as the spark, anything that went wrong was almost always irreversible. It could lead to death.

With a shudder, Knock Out looked down, before he felt strong arms wrap around him.

"Good morning," Breakdown muttered, pressing a kiss to Knock Out's cheek.

"Morning," he replied, leaning back into the embrace.

Breakdown took a minute to take in the research, Knock Out's slight tremors, and worry flooded his spark. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Knock Out replied, too quick to count as a real response. Breakdown raised an optic ridge, staring at him. "...well, I've just been looking through the research...and combined with what I learned while in my apprenticeship..." he trailed off, unable to voice his fears. It sounded so petty now, not wanting to bond to the one he loved just because of a little fears.

"...do you regret it?" Breakdown murmured, carefully trying to keep his tone neutral. Knock Out gasped, turning out of Breakdown's embrace and facing him.

"Of course I don't regret it! What made you ask that!?" the Aston Martin exclaimed, trying to understand what made Breakdown come to that conclusion. His red optics searched his partner's face for something, anything that would give away what he was thinking. How could that happen?

"The way you phrased what you thought...I thought you were regretting telling me the cure. I thought that you thought I forced myself on you," Breakdown replied, looking away from his lover's searching gaze. He turned, walking to the other side of the med bay and fussing around with some extra supplies that had been left over.

Knock Out, on the other hand, stood and followed him, hastily explaining himself. The last thing he wanted was Breakdown mad at him, they had made so much progress! "Breakdown, I don't regret it, not at all! ...what I'm worried about is what would happen should something go wrong. If you got hurt because of my stupid past...I wouldn't be able to handle it," he murmurs the last part, ashamed at his neediness.

The frontliner turns, hearing the self loathing in Knock Out's tone. "Knock Out, that's not going to happen," he begins, only to be cut off.

"You don't know that for certain though! What...what if the subroutine affects you? What if our sparks aren't compatible? The size difference is pretty obvious, what if-" Knock Out's rambling is cut off by a gentle finger on his lipplates.

"You're right, I don't know it for certain. But I do know that our sparks are compatible, despite the size difference. I...did some research." He stops, blushing slightly, before continuing. "I couldn't recharge last night, so I looked around through our records. According to the texts, there are various kinds of CNA that are compatible. And ours are. Which, by that virtue alone, eliminates almost all of the issues that the research has come across."

The Aston Martin feels his faceplates being tipped up, and a light kiss pressed to his lipplates, soothing his fears away. It could have been the kiss. It could have been the words, maybe the fact that it was backed up by research and not just a leap of faith. Possibly a combination of all four, but something about what Breakdown said calmed him.

He leaned into the kiss, stretching upwards to deepen it slightly. Their mouths open against each other, glossa coming out hesitantly to play and taste the other. Knock Out walked Breakdown back to the cabinet behind them, his servos roaming over his partners frame. They both were comfortable with each other at this point, Breakdown letting Knock Out take the lead.

Knock Out brought one servo up to tease his shoulder guards, lightly nipping at his lower lip. Breakdown purred in response, wrapping a hand around his lower back and pulling the medic flush against him.

When they eventually pulled apart, their forehelms rested against each other. Looking up into Breakdown's optics, Knock Out panted, "I love you...so much. Please don't leave."

Breakdown shook his head, pulling his love closer. "Never," he murmured in return as he kissed Knock Out again.

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><p>Back to back chapters in the same week. WHAT IS HAPPENING PEOPLE.<p>

Uh-oh, spaghetti-o, what's going on with Arachnid and Starscream? And will Breakdown and Knock Out survive to bond?

Again, please vote on which chapter style you like the best, and as always, reviews are loved.

3 Huntress


	20. Pleas, Plots, and Plans

**Soooo incredibly sorry for the delay! First I couldn't write because of Spring Break, and then I couldn't find my muses so this chapter sat half finished until today. I am so so so incredibly sorry! *bows head in shame* **

**On the plus side, this chapter does have some more cliffies, some happy times, and some things that hopefully make you wonder what in the hell I'm planning next. **

**And now, enjoy the chapter! **

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><p><em>I want to bond to him. I want to bond to him so much, and it's the only thing that I truly know in this ocean of uncertainty. We are at war. I don't know if I'll survive to see the next day. I don't know if I will be able to keep Megatron satisfied for another solar cycle, and I certainly don't know if Breakdown will be able to do those things as well. It's one big mess of uncertainty, and I don't know what to do with it. <em>

Sighing, Knock Out pulls away from the kiss, leaning against Breakdown's chest. All those thoughts and more race through his head, and it's almost overshadowed by the sense of wariness that comes with being at war for most of your life.

"You okay?" Breakdown asks, a servo running down his back soothingly.

Knock Out nods, leaning against him. "I want to bond to you...I'm not ready yet, but I want to bond to you." The self doubt sneaks back up on him again as he waits for Breakdown's response.

"I do too! ...I've wanted to since we've met," the bruiser admits, tightening his hold on the medic.

The medic blushes, looking up at him. "I've always wanted someone...who wouldn't judge me based on my past. And who wouldn't try to take advantage of me."

"I could never do that to you," Breakdown murmurs, smiling softly at the medic. He could never hurt the mech that had given him a chance, he could never hurt the mech who had stolen his spark. He could never hurt the mech he loved. "You didn't hold my past against me, so why would I hold yours against you?"

Knock Out looked down, blushing slightly. "I...I'm just scared. That one day you'll wake up and realize that this isn't worth it. That you'll figure out that I'm not worth-"

Breakdown grabs a hold of Knock Out's chin and brings his gaze back to his. "Listen to me, and listen well; I would never do that to you. Even with the war and the pressures of working for a tyrant like Megatron and the uncertainty of what will happen with Starscream gone, I would never put that above you. The war doesn't matter to me; survival does. Because survival means that I can love you longer. So please...let me love you?"

Knock Out nods numbly, shocked at Breakdown's words. He honestly hadn't expected Breakdown to be able to speak so eloquently, so honestly and open about what he felt for him. Those words gave him the confidence he needed to continue with his battle within, the same battle he always fought; demons vs. himself.

He wanted to move onto the next, more physical stage of the relationship with Breakdown. He wanted to be able to confidently walk up to him and whisper loving things in his audio. He wanted Breakdown to add his own twist to the words as he whispered back, picking up the medic and walking to their shared berth. He wanted Breakdown to gently lay him down and kiss him, lovingly, passionately, his larger servos roaming his frame and softly teasing exposed wires and nodes. He wanted Breakdown to make love to him, as he had heard some of the humans call it.

And, despite it's origin being of human decent, it was exactly what he wanted to happen. Interfacing was much to impersonal a term, and the other human words for the act were much too vulgar.

No, he knew what he meant when he thought the words, "make love." And he knew that was what he wanted Breakdown to do to him.

The demons, however, thought differently. They wanted to prevent him from having the opportunity to let Breakdown further in. This time, though, Knock Out had ammo. He thought of the way Breakdown had healed him and nursed him back to health after Starscream's rape. He thought of the way that he hadn't pushed anything until Knock Out had initiated it, or had said otherwise that he truly wanted Breakdown to touch him in that way.

He hadn't pushed.

That was mostly enough to shut them up for a few joors at a time, giving Knock Out the feeling of relative peace within his mind and spark. Though nowadays, with all the talk of bonding, his spark seemed to never stop fluttering.

Looking up at the bigger mech, Knock Out softly murmurs, "Breakdown...I love you. And...I want you to make love to me."

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><p>Starscream growled under his breath as he waited for the system to spit out the results. He wanted to know exactly what was in the Energon that had made it so thick, what Arachnid intended it for.<p>

He had tried to look for clues, but he wasn't very stealthy when in any element that wasn't the air, and the tunnels were much too extensive for him to search out all by himself. Each day he made a bit more progress, but with each day Arachnid appeared through newer tunnels that she made as she needed them - but when Starscream followed them, all he came to were dead ends. How such a feat was possible, the seeker did not know.

But he did know that Arachnid had a plan that she wasn't sharing, and that both angered and terrified the former SIC. How could she try to rebel against him, after all he had done for her! Dealing with her orders, faking obedience and innocence when they both knew that he knew more than he was letting on, mindlessly allowing himself to stoop below his capabilities and become her minion; he deserved to know what was going on!

His internal rant ended with a low beep from the small green tinted display that he had managed to pull from his subspace. While he was a SIC and former Air Commander of the Energon Seekers, he was also a scientist. And that meant that some of his more...nerdy habits had transferred over. But it was completely useful in this situation; his miniature compound analyzer/microscope was helpful in determining what this Energon had that made it different.

The screen read: **97% Energon, 0.1% Feldspar/Quartz/organic matter, 2.9% other. **

Well, well well. He knew something had been added. The collective 97.1% he had no worry for; feldspar, quarts, and organic matter are all found in dirt, which is where the energon crystals came from. It was harmless, merely annoying if it got caught in your joints.

But the other; that was the problem. His entire research, and future actions, depended on what that 2.9% was. As he was instructed at the science academy, what is already known is sometimes completely useless. But one can always use the known as stepping stones to find the unknown.

He selects a menu change, moving the function over to the microscopic scanner. This would show a 3-D image on the screen of how, if at all, a particular substance was molecularity put together.

If he couldn't detect what it was, he was going to analyze the shape. What he finds, aside from the molecular crystals of Energon and compounds that made up dirt, is an arrangement of four cycloalkane rings that all joined together. It was nothing that he had ever experienced in his time at the Academy, but they were on Earth; maybe it was an organic compound?

He crossreferenced his view of the compound on the screen with images throughout the Earthling's internet, and came up with a strange name: steroids.

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><p>Arachnid smirked, watching the Insecticons battle for her viewing pleasure. She knew they viewed her as their queen, and she knew that they would do whatever she asked. But she also knew that her warriors were nowhere close to being ready for real battle. They were juveniles, not fully adults yet, with weak armor and small attention spans.<p>

Its a good thing that she had discovered that they, like herself, were part organic in nature. A subspecies of Cybertronians, based on the organic life of planets and worlds nearby. While she took after arachnids, they took after insects. She had heard rumors of Cybertronians who, in the past, had gone after _felis catus_, _canis lupus_, and even _aves. _

And while at times this organic part of her CNA was annoying, and even shameful, she had learned to manipulate it to the best of her ability. Her venom, spinning abilities, and tunneling prowess were all effects of studying her namesake here on Earth.

This also meant that they were susceptible to the same types of diseases - and therefore medicine - as the organics here on Earth.

She smirks as she holds up the vial of clear liquid. It was a good thing she had discovered this handy little growth hormone; hopefully the steroids would push them to develop faster and be ready in time for the battle that was to come. For now, however, she continued slowly drugging them, building them up to become the warriors she needed.

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><p><strong>Please review! <strong>

**3 Huntress**


	21. AN

So, I've made the decision to completely rewrite Reach Out as a story. The basic story line is still there, however I've done some more research on what possible disorders I think Knock Out could have to flesh him out as a character and move the story along. With that said, I'm discontinuing the story here on fanfiction and also on dA. I will, however, post the new story on AO3, where I've been moving some of my fics over for the beginning.

My account is the same as my name here, except with underscores between the words: Huntress_Under_Seige

I made this decision partially because I want to expand the story, and also because fanfiction doesn't allow multiples of stories to be kept on the same site. I _will_, however, leave the existing chapters up and loaded for people to continue to read. I just felt that it wasn't going where my mind was taking me, and as such I had to find another place for it.

So, I'm moving the stories over. I guess that makes Reach Out, at least on fanfiction, complete.

Thank you so much for reviewing and commenting, it really made it all worth it. And it would mean the world to me if you would continue your readership over at AO3. I don't think you'll get too bored - some new things are already developing. ;)

Again, thank you so much. It truly means the world to me.


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